you'd get better stories from a Freeside junkie

@newvegascowboy ll Pining/yearning Prompts

Killian makes a confession to Sweetjane.

Rating: PG

Word Count: 1956

Warnings: none besides language and a single sentence reference to sex

Lying in bed, Killian starts to think. It was no longer fascination he felt for the woman asleep beside him, her left arm draped over his chest with her hand resting against his left shoulder. In the near year since they had first met at that anniversary party, he had come to the conclusion that the fascination he had at the party had truly developed into something else. If it continues to develop in the way it has been, she's going to find out certain... things about him. Things that might fright her away and ruin one of the few good experiences he has. In truth it was best he tell her now more than later. Worse than later is if she should find out from someone else entirely.

Killian had nearly forgotten these thoughts once morning came. Though the rather passionate round of lovemaking before breakfast didn't help. Sweetjane had decided that she was going to make it this time and he was grate to her for giving him the extra time to think. He had to choose the words carefully.

She had prepared a radrabbit casserole. She spooned some onto his plate then her own before placing the rest in her freezer. He waited until she sat down before saying anything.

"Sweetjane, there is something I would like for you to know." She looks at him, there is a strange expression in her mismatched eyes. She says nothing and continues to eat. "There is in fact a great many things I feel you should know about me and I wish I had the words to tell you.

The expression is back but she still says nothing. She lays her fork down to listen cocking her head to the side curiously. "How so?" was the only thing she said. Might as well start with the thing that ruined his marriage... one of them at least. "I've an addiction. I can and have been handling it for longer than I've known you."

"I don't ker. Ya kin use whateva ya want, juss don't offer me none or sell me ta pay for it. Ya think I up and decided dat a brand was de coolest thing? I scaped slav'ry once and I'd do it agin and I'll haunt you foreva if dat happens. Gypsies don't curse people, but ya met the one who kin do it in a heartbeat. " Her eyes narrow. He waits to see if she says anything more. When she doesn't, he continues.

"I've... I am addicted to psycho and have been for a very long time. Longer than you could imagine, in fact. I'm not lying to you when I say I know my limit, nor do I ever intend on selling you or anyone. I know you're a former slave, that device around your neck is a very obvious giveaway. Just like whatever led you to that point, my addiction ruined a very good relationship I had. I'm sure whoever sold you, you must feel some sort of..."

"Joel didn't sell me, I sold my own self." she states matter of factly. Her breathing is heavy and irregular.

She sold herself? He had assumed she was captured or sold by someone. Anyway, it wasn't his place to judge her past choices, least of all while telling her his. "It's not my place to ask you why you made that decision. However, like I was saying, it wouldn't shock me if you felt some sort of animosity towards the decision that ended in your enslavement. All I can say is that I've been addicted for far too long that recovery and rehabilitation would be useless. I'm not using behind your back nor am I trying to keep it a secret from you. I just couldn't find the time to tell you."

"Well, ya hold yerself betta than some people, I giss." She makes a small scratching motion at the intersection of the scarring on her left cheek. He picked up that she was being subtle again, but he didn't to figure out her hints at this moment. "I'm gladja tole me. Takes some courage ta do dat much."

"I'm not finished. There's something else I believe you have a right to know about. It pertains to a very dark period in my life before..."

"Don't ker bout dat either. Thought ya'd pick up on at least dat I don't ker about nothin' but de man currently in front of me now. De addiction was a surprise I won't lie. So long as ya do do so much dat folks is comin ta my door demandin payment, I really don't ker. That's yer problem and' how ya deal wid it is yer choice, cher. 'Sides I got my own secrets dat I plan on keepin' till I'm dead an buried." She places both hands on the table as if to make her point, pushing herself up before moving to the dresser. "Now if yer finished, what'd'ya say we go out scavvin' togetha?"

Most of the area had been picked clean it seemed they were currently in an old florist shop. Sweetjane laughed when she saw the display that was supposed to be picked up. The flowers had long since rotted away until all that was left was a long yellowed photo of an old woman. The card under it read "In Loving Memory of Louise Bulger June 14th 1991- October 21st 2077". Killian asked why she felt the need to laugh. Sweetjane replied darkly that if she had waited two whole days she could have left with her whole family. But also, that she shared a birthday with one of her nuncles, the same one that was ghoulified while out on his shrimp boat.