The perfect Martini by Guy Buffet, 2000

I never get over this one. Absolutely incredible

This is how Hannibal Lecter looks while fighting in NBC’s “Hannibal”. Vicious and classy.

~Alastair

hey im getting a vibe this isnt about nicknames

[Image description: a tumblr post with a reblogged addition, both of them by user magnetictapedatastorage, who is marked red by the shingamieyes extension. The post collectively reads: “remember when it was universally understood that it’s super uncool to come up with your own nickname. and now ppl are like ‘hey im [something that sounds cool to them]’, like no you’re not”. End image description]

This is the standard winged nightjar and it has one singular stupidly big feather on each wing... if you even care.

Love this guy

That’s standard as in “pennant” or “banner”, not standard as in “normal”.

But it’s not a pennant-winged nightjar. THIS is a pennant-winged nightjar… if you even care.

can’t forget the Lyre-tailed Nightjar! there’s actually a number of these ridiculous guys, and they’re partly why caprimulgiforms are some of my favorite birds

also the Sickle-winged Nightjar, which is. come on, that’s just a weird moth

The bird’s wings remind me of a 1600s aristocratic gown, similar to this:

The short, simpler sleeve is attached to a much longer sleeve portion.

first 5 faceless emojis are how your summers gonna go

Magnus Archives fan I see

THIS IS SO FUNNY I'M SORRY

I enjoy cooking a fair bit. Pan-seared Halibut with green onion and lemon is by far my favourite dish to make and consume.

~Alastair

One struggle 🫡

if we keep getting fatter and hornier we can abolish all world militaries by 2026

I don’t understand people who refuse to give money directly to the poor and hungry, but apparently give to charities, when they say “That way, I know where my money is going.” No you don’t. That is the quickest way to lose track of where your money went. You have no clue what that charity did with your money. You have no meaningful way to find out either. If you give directly to the poor and hungry, you know exactly where your money is going - to that person who needs it. You couldn’t be more sure about where your money ended up. It ended up in that hungry person’s pocket.

100%

If you give to charity, it could easily go into the pocket of their CEO or on marketing or other costs.

If you give to a person, you know it’s gone to a person in need.

Let’s just say what those people really mean:

I don’t want to directly give my money to poor people because they might spend it on alcohol or drugs

While they completely ignore why poor people use those things as escapism

People need help, not to be demonized

i went to a tiny counterserve diner once and accidentally poured sugar instead of salt all over my hashbrowns and was eating them sadly anyways. the waitress took them away and started making me another one and I tried to protest, but she just snorted and said "we're not catholic here". now every time i'm doing something painful out of obligation i think about how that is not repenting, this body is not a catholic establishment, there is no nobility in suffering.

I haven’t stopped laughing at this

hmmm… there’s probably an INFINITELY more humane way to do this…

i get that they’re not killing them and they end up fine, but imagine the trauma of you, a mammal, going through a long ass tube, not knowing what’s going to happen to you, and you can’t breathe. 🤷‍♀️

They get misted with water throughout the thing, and it results in fewer injuries than the ‘ladder’ method. Also, it’s a fish. It never knows what’s going to happen to it at any point in time throughout its life.

Also, I, a mammal, have paid 80 bucks to get into a water park to get the opportunity to feel like that fish, and that motherfucker gets in for free every day is fish day at the fish waterpark

well the MOST humane thing would be to not build dams blocking salmon migration routes, nor create a society where there are only resources allocated to solving the problem at all because blocking the salmon endangers the profits of a segment of the food industry. 

Buuuut since we’re past that already, here are a couple of additional thoughts:

1 this IS the more humane alternative, which was invented to lower injury and death rates associated with previous techniques. When a better alternative is revealed it will probably replace this one. But this one is a pretty huge improvement over the other methods, one of which killed off something like 80% of the fish involved. A study of the above fish tube was conducted by Pacific Northwest National Laboratories in 2017 on the Columbia River and showed a much higher success rate. In that study, only one fish died (“due to a human error during the system setup”) and only 3 percent had signs of injury. So. The next best improvement might have to be “remove dam”

2 they are on their way to die. That is where we are helping them get to. That’s the end goal of the salmon’s migration. They on their way to mutate, start rotting alive, have an orgy, and die. That’s where the tube is taking them.

So like, it’s not going to be the weirdest thing they experience this month, is what i’m saying. 

thank you for that, @hug-your-face

Are we going to ignore the fact that the person who replied to OP implied that fish are mammals, orrrr…

i've experienced popping and cracking in all of the above so i wanna know how normal this is

Neck and ankles mostly

All of the above joints, as well as the joints that attach my thighs to my hip and my shoulders.

Need to be mindful for our feathered friends!

I’ve queued this to post around the time that alot of babies will be hatching.

Go buy some frozen veggies and feed the babies

It is baby season right now. A lot of babies are being born right now and people keep bringing them into the sanctuary. Sometimes its best to leave them alone.

Additionally, don’t feed them bread, its not just a matter of “not healthy” because people say that and think “well if I can eat cake they can have bread” like no. If a bird is fed too much bread - especially at a young age - results in a condition called Angel Wings. The lack of needed vitamins and presence of high sugars and carbohydrates in their diet results in the primary feathers growing incorrectly creating a duck that has a (potentially, if not treated as many don’t) permanent inability to fly and deformed wing.

Additionally, a lot of ducks that go into sanctuaries and wildlife centers are considered “non-releasable” due to either Angel Wings or having such a poor diet that their too heavy towards the back of their body and thus can not fly.

In my experience, stating “poor nutrition” and “not healthy” doesn’t mean a lot to people with how those terms are used on us.

Also yes, please don’t immediately assume ducklings without a mom immediately visible are abandoned. They likely aren’t and your local wildlife rescue / sanctuary is probably already flooded and strained.

Source: I volunteered at a wetland sanctuary for 4 years and during these seasons there were literally entire outdoor cages with barely enough room for me to walk with how impacted they were

Source: I studied birds and waterfowl in college.

Additionally feeding the ducks poses a list of other problems that I could explain (don’t want to tbh cause imo its too complex for what its worth, especially considering we can’t even convince people to not feed them bread which has much more direct and immediate issues for the average wildlife)

The most I would say is that if there are non-mallards its probably best to not feed them as it can fuck with their migratory patterns and thus fuck with the species overall. Mallards I’d say are less of an issue in most urban parks but I digress.

Obnoxious how most anti-infantilization activism in many low support-centric autistic communities seems to rely on arguing we don't need support rather than reducing the stigma attatched to needing support.

Simply put, most anti-infantilization autistic activism I see is about how we don't need to be talked to slowly, need 24/7 care, don't need help with going to the toilet, don't need help shopping, etc. because we 'aren't toddlers'.

Which is a bad kind of activism, because, uh, many of us DO need those things. This is a fact. Ignoring it won't make it go away. And saying that only children need those things IS infantilization.

What we SHOULD be arguing is that adults who have medium to high support needs and who need help with or just can't do basic tasks, can't speak or can't speak well, need to have things explained slowly/repeatedly, etc. are still adults and deserve to be respected as such. Having higher support needs isn't childish.

No, people shouldn't assume that all autistics have higher support needs. But autistics with lower support needs also shouldn't erase those who do, when they are ALWAYS the ones most impacted by infantilization.

sluttiest thing a man can do is know how to cook delicious meals

so glad i did

My new mission in life is to impart this wisdom to as many people as possible

IT'S ALSO USEFUL IF YOU HAVE TMJ DISORDER

in both cases: always start on the lowest setting and wrapped in something soft!! if it hurts, stop!!

But, re: sinuses: look up a diagram of where they are, and when a spot feels particularly good or is particularly congested, hold it there longer. Definitely keep tissues handy for when it drains. Also it can help if your sinuses hurt like fuck but aren't actually congested (which happened when I had covid), but the effect doesn't last long.

Re: TMJ disorder: You can just push it against the joint, obviously; if your vibe has a small contact point you can REALLY dig in there (but again: stop if it hurts). But don't forget the whole area around the joint, around your ears, and up your scalp. There's a lot of muscles that tighten when your jaw is tight/stiff/in pain. Be especially careful when on a spot that's just skin over a bone without a lot of padding.

vibrators can also help if you have restless legs syndrome! Especially ones with fancy pulse patterns. When my RLS is severe I tuck them behind my knees or wherever & can finally lie still & sleep. You might need to wrap them in fabric to avoid skin irritation ymmv. There was even a paper published somewhere called "counter stimulatory devices for RLS" that was hilariously vague about saying the word "vibrator"

Once again adding also useful if you have dystonia or any kind of muscle spasticity. I have cervical dystonia (neck spasms) and dystonia in my left leg that's essentially like persistent Charley horse cramps from my neuromuscular issues and bought a Hitachi expressly for this purpose lol

A vibrator has been recommended to me to unblock clogged milk ducts for anyone that may apply to

I learned about the sinus thing and immediately bought a vibrator for that purpose. And yes, it DOES help with sinus headaches. 

I use mine to cum as well

SOME-

-BODY ONCE GOLD ME

My dinnar 💪💯❗💥

This is one of your worst posts yet man

Poverty Food

Visual Innuendo

You called me dirt sucking poor and told me my carrot looks like a cock