I STEPPED OUTSIDE OF THE FRONT DOOR OF MY OWN HOME ONLY TO FIND THE DEER THAT TRIED TO KICK MY ASS LAST YEAR STANDING RIGHT THERE IN MY FRONT YARD. BOLD AS BRASS.
AM I NOT SAFE ANYWHERE ANYMORE
for those of you who were not here last year: this deer is the most obnoxious, unnatural red-orange color I’ve ever seen, only appears when it’s raining, and once chased me a quarter mile through the woods. her name is Hot Cheeto Hatred and she is my nemesis
dude, i think that’s a fairy
miss colby please give me a chance 🧎🏻♀️
I think when they made rouge the bat they just had the concept of "what if we took one of our trademark funny little guys and just made one of them cunty as fuck"
Congratulations on making me fucking wheeze
“i liked it before it was cool” well i liked it AFTER it was cool when everyone abandoned it
i get really into shows that aired like 5+ years ago like “have y’all heard of this”
i’ll never get over the fact that there’s a movie called “snakes on a plane” and in that movie there’s a line that is, verbatim, “ive had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane”.
that is absolutely bonkers. that’s ridiculous. that’s like making a movie called “gators in the sewer” and having someone in the movie say “im getting really sick and tired of these fucking gators in the sewer”
deanscourse
the funny part is that the alternate title was something mundane like “flight 93″ and samuel l. jackson made the director change it back to “snakes on a plane” bc he said it was the only reason he auditioned
oh my god, the youth have forgotten that there was a huge viral phenomenon when this movie was being filmed, where the internet got wind of the working title snakes on a plane, and a) demanded that title be made official, b) CAME UP WITH the line about these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane, and c) GOT THE LINE INCLUDED IN THE ACTUAL MOVIE
You forgot the part where three up and coming bands in the emo scene collaborated to write a song called Snakes On a Plane and filmed a music video of themselves smuggling snakes onto a plane, and it practically launched all of their careers.
If you think for one second of my worthless life I have forgotten “Bring It (Snakes on a Plane)” released by Cobra Starship (2006) then you can think the fuck again
Ahahah, guys I put my jeans on this morning that have holes in and one of the holes lines up perfectly with my tattoo 😭
Loooook
“I want to decompose in a bog” well you clearly don’t know the first thing about bogs. Clout chaser
Huge fan of the phrase “get pickled, idiot”
We’re going to engage in a mild amount of tomfoolery
[narrator voice] It was not the 90s
30 ROCK, 2.04 BRIDESMAIDS (2011) UNBREAKABLE KIMMY SCHMIDT, 3.02
Source: outtagum
the real life version of being doomed by the narrative is knowing you have work in the morning
the irl version of being stuck in the timeloop is also going to work
I hate when people say “A woman’s body was designed to give birth.” No, giving birth is just something a woman’s body can do. If we follow that logic, then because a man’s body can reach sexual climax via anal penetration, all men were designed for gay sex. Needless to say, like gay sex, childbirth is just not some people’s cup of tea.
