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here i am

@newlaur-blog

if ur here, we’re here together
21, Gay, Hawaiian, Ohio

I really hope that Love, Simon changes the way we do LGBT movies because I swear to God, every lesbian/wlw movie on netflix is a weird sex drama that involves one woman leaving her man for another woman in passionate sex affair and like???? not relatable???? give me girls who like girls in a dumb romantic comedy, not a melodramatic indie movie. I shouldn’t have to watch a soft porno in order to see two women falling in love.

Once you knew a girl and you named her Lover, and danced with her in kitchens through the greenest summer. But autumn came, she disappeared, you can’t remember where she said she was going to. But you know that she’s gone, cause she left you a song that you don’t want to sing.

if u like girls, here are some reasons to keep on going even when the world feels like it’s just complete garbage:

  • girls are soft and nice to hold
  • if you’ve never held a girl before, oh my GOD do you have so much to look forward to
  • sometimes, if the girl you like is wearing makeup when she gives you a hug, some of that makeup will get on ur shirt and u can feel all special bc look there’s proof that you got to touch a pretty girl
  • also: kissing girls. A+, 10/10 good content. wow. WOW. soft…pretty….the way their eyelashes flutter when they open their eyes after the kiss ends. oh my god im so gay jesus christ
  • when ur lowkey arguing with a girl and you let her win and she smiles so satisfied and you can tell you’re gonna get kisses later……Best
  • listening to a girl you like talk about things she’s passionate about. her cute excited voice….big smile….god
  • sometimes when you kiss a girl, she’ll slide her hands up your sides, and it will Kill You Dead but it’s also the best thing in the entire world
  • sometimes when you kiss a girl, you can put your hands on HER hips and she’ll get goosebumps and press into your touch and it is. incredible.
  • secret looks and flirting with a girl you like…Iconic….

I’m so fucking gay

I️ think it’s important to look at yourself naked sometimes and just really take yourself in. Try to refamiliarize yourself with your body. Get to know the parts of you that you usually avoid. I️ don’t think people appreciate their own bodies enough

you know what? fuck it, man. the world is held in the fists of people who like to break things. at this point i’m saying who gives a shit. wear that victorian dress you don’t have an excuse for. dress up like a witch, pointed hat and all. who cares anymore. why worry about it when there’s bigger stuff to worry on. i’m saying. yeah, this lipstick is too dark, wanna share? i’m saying go talk to her, tell her that you like her hair. i’m saying she’s out of my league but i’m still swinging, i’m saying yeah i’m in a ballgown and it’s a pta meeting. what about it. eat the extra brownie, tell her your feelings. i’m saying if nothing matters than we might as well give nothing meaning.

who wants to hear the story about how a girl in my spanish 2 class fought back against the horrible spanish teacher and won

if this gets 2 notes i will tell it

one note is good enough for me.

so there’s this girl in my spanish 2 class. we’ll call her kayla.

kayla is a sophomore. she is funny and outspoken and a little crazy. the main thing to remember about kayla is that she will stand up for herself when needed. and that’s why something happened with her and my spanish teacher.

we’ll call my teacher miss irving. miss irving has been teaching spanish for 30 years. she’s a little forceful, hates technology, and hates when people don’t just listen to her without questioning it.

it began when kayla entered class late near the beginning of the school year. “sorry, ma’am,” she said to miss irving. “i was at the counselor’s.”

miss irving looked up at kayla and asked for a pass. kayla didn’t have one, but she said that miss irving would be able to call the counselor and the counselor would verify her visit. miss irving refused to do so and gave her detention on the spot. kayla started trying to justify her own actions, and she received yet another detention.

this marked the beginning of a long, long feud. every time kayla did something, miss irving would reprimand her for it. kayla put on chapstick or began to eat in class and miss irving began to yell. kayla read a paragraph slower than the rest of us and miss irving would snap at her. slowly, kayla began to get fed up.

the last straw for her was when she asked miss irving to go to the counselor during class, and it changed everything.

“miss irving? i have an appointment with the counselor down the hall. may i go?”

“obviously not,” my teacher snapped back. “you can’t leave in the middle of the class.”

“but i need to see her, i have an appointme-“

“i don’t care. you’re going to translate that paragraph-“

“ma’am, i already translated it-“

“well, then i’ll give you more work to do-“

“no.”

at that word, all of the heads in the clasroom turned. it’s an unspoken rule that you don’t say no to miss irving. but kayla had fire in her voice, and was now standing up and glaring at the teacher.

excuse me?” miss irving responded, and kayla went off.

“no matter what i do, you get on to me about it. i have issues that i need to take care of that you refuse to understand. you’re a teacher. you’re supposed to care about us. it’s your job! listen to me carefully: i. have. mental. health. problems. and there are times i need to eat in class or i need to go to the counselor’s office because of it, so could you just get off of my ass about it and try to understand?”

miss irving turned beet red and sent her to the principal’s office.

what followed was a battle between the two. miss irving kept emailing kayla’s parents, but kayla’s parents took their daughter’s side. then my teacher emailed kayla’s other teachers and asked them to take her side, but the other teachers said they didn’t ever have problems with kayla.

kayla went to talk to the principal about the situation and told her what was going on. the principal talked to miss irving, and miss irving lost her teacher of the year award for that year. she also received a strike on her teaching record for refusing to respect a student’s mental health protocol. and kayla won.

miss irving still teaches our class and we still have kayla with us. now, miss irving doesn’t hide her hatred for kayla at all. she expresses it fully to her other classes. and most of those other classes hate her as well.

but my class and i love kayla. because kayla has a newfound power, and she doesn’t take it for granted. instead, she uses it to help us.

and this matters so much to me because, one day, she helped me.

i have generalized anxiety disorder. one of the methods i can use to calm myself down is by doodling, and doodling also helps me listen more closely to the teacher’s lesson. so i started doodling on the edges of my papers in spanish a lot, especially when we started having tests every class period and it became very anxiety-inducing for me.

miss irving started taking points off for every doodle i made. and i mean A LOT of points. i drew an eye in the corner of a worksheet once and i got an 80 instead of a 100. when i tried to explain that it was for my anxiety, she didn’t care. so now i had even more anxiety because i couldn’t reduce my anxiety.

one day, miss irving was lecturing and i was doodling, when she started to yell at me for it.

i can’t remember a lot about what happened because at that moment i went into a full blown panic attack. but what i do remember is kayla standing up and yelling at her.

“what are you doing? stop! she’s obviously having a panic attack!”

she came over to my desk and led me through breathing exercises. calmed me down. told me my doodle of half a face looked really good, asked me how long i’d been taking art and about my disorder. the entire class was silent, watching, and miss irving was fuming.

when i was calm enough to, i thanked kayla, and she squeezed my hand in a silent alliance.

then miss irving walked back to the whiteboard and never said anything about my doodles again.

the moral of the story? just because a teacher or principal or parent is older than you doesn’t mean they deserve to be obeyed no matter what. if what your “elders” say to you or do to you belittles you, tears you down, or keeps you from being able to get help or be a better person, they are not doing their job, and you can stand up for yourself and others.

don’t be afraid to question the authority just because they say they shouldn’t be questioned.

Kayla’s a fucking hero

Kayla for President 2020!!!