you will never blast rope like your cum cannon peepaw. die.
Kyria: okay so imagine if a person farmed a living dex of all shinies with perfect IVs and that’s just how they spend all their free time
me: I now understand American Psycho better than I ever have before
“I need to check my Honey Trees”
You’ll never be a pony, Jimmy. You don’t have the honesty, the generosity, the pureness of heart. You just take and take. You’re not a pony at all.
I know she swapped those cakes! She got that Pinkie at the bakery to lie for her! … You think this is bad? This? This coltery? The Wonderbolts race! You think a pegasus just happens to crash like that? No! She orchestrated it! Twily! … “But not our Twily! Couldn’t be precious Twily!” Treating them kind! And she gets to be an alicorn? What a sick joke!
As the decade closes out, don’t forget to remember the heroes
I love that phenomenon where ur talking to another neurodivergent person for the first time and u haven’t quite grocked their flavor of brain yet and they haven’t grocked yours and you’re both using your Acceptable Friendly Person Getting To Know You Script on each other but of course those scripts have been calibrated mainly for use with, like, normal people, so you just end up being like two conversational roombas bonking gently off one another like “hello fellow human” “hello fellow ‘hello fellow human’” until you both at some point manage to adjust your programming and actually like, communicate
It’s like when I was a kid I had two furbies and when you put them next to each other they’d just natter nonsensically past one another for a bit and then at some point one would abruptly recognize the other with its furby sensor or w/e and it would shout “DANCE!” and the other one would flap its ears and reply “HEY, DANCE” and then, in perfect unison, they would begin to rock back and forth while chanting “doot doot doo doot doot doo”
It’s exactly like that. I love it. Crazy people are the best, we are super excellent, i love us, i love crazy ppl
I wrote this post in my head while having a major dissociative episode in the bathroom and its the best and truest thing Ive ever said
I think the most humiliating object in the world is the Fleshlight sleeve warmer
Its only purpose is to slide into your fleshlight and get it to body temp. It's $30. I want to get every single man who owns one of these into one room and make them do long-form improv
Jail!
Different Jail!
meanest person you've ever met: i'm so sick of being nice
This may seem like a hard decision to make, but What I've Done is look on the Brightside.
im not particularly interested in disco elysium at all but i am gonna play it just to see if the skill check system is as ridiculous as i've been led to believe
an estimated 20 minutes into the game and a kid called me a faggot so hard i had a mental breakdown and died
he looks like an animated rat with a brooklyn accent "i could get yooshed ta thish"
funnytwittertweets
Will never get over the fact that the creator of Johnny Bravo is on the record as saying Johnny Bravo lays mad pipe but his successes aren't funny
If you want to know just how crazy fucked up Evangelical/Fundamentalist Christian views of the apocalypse are, and how that affects US politics, I recommend The Rapture Exposed by Barbara Rossing. She’s a (mainline) Christian theologian, so a lot of the book is about the theological and Biblical reasons why the Rapture is a horrible twisting of Christian beliefs. But she also spends a lot of time talking about just how fucked up the belief in the Rapture is, and the terrifying political and social consequences that set of beliefs has had for America.