freshwatercatfishjpegimage-deac
*guy stumbles out of torture labyrinth, covered in dirt and blood, clothes torn, on the verge of passing out with a thousand yard stare* maybe... Maybe I will buy myself a yummy treat. As a reward
what if vampires are like mosquitoes and only the ladies drink blood
jamesspaderdidhavanasyndrome
Pretty sure that would mean the fellas drink tree sap or something. Imagine running from a vampire thru the woods and passing her husband who’s biting a tree real hard
Maple syrup vampire husband
Encounter: Maple syrup vampire husband drinking sap in the woods, also trying to lure you to his literally bloodthirsty wife.
The wife has the classic Villain Of The Night aesthetic, all black, flowing cape, everything, and her husband is wearing red flannel, overalls, a beard, and is welding a log-splitting axe
This person gets it! Classic vampire lady and her lumberjack husband!
I regret nothing
LUMBERDRAC
woke up earlier from a vivid dream where they were airing a new snickers commercial and it was like this goth chick being chased horror movie style, shitty shaky camera and all followed by a howling and she has internal monologue like "i need to change him back before its too late!" and then she gets cornered by effectively a really high quality render of the skyrim werewolf model with his dick out and she just offers him a snickers and he just stares at her longingly the narrator is like "you're not you when you're hungry. snickers satisfies" with the text showing up but in the background you just can see her getting rawed on all fours
Sire, the hoes are becoming rancorous.
This will not do. There is only one avenue left for us. Bring John the Baptist to give me head.
this kills me
i think this joke loses something if you dont know what Flexo looks like
Btw if I say things like “by god” or “good lord” in posts please be aware I don’t mean it in a catholic way I mean it in a 1950s scientist reacting in horror after they create an evil creature in the lab set in the distant future year of 2005
io che nonostante sia atea dica “grazie agli dei” e simili perché si io non credo in niente ma miliardi di persone hanno religioni e dei differenti ed io non voglio far sentire escluso nessuno
im frankly lucky the above reblog is about how theyre an atheist because there is nothing more terrifying than saying something slightly blasphemous and seeing a paragraph of italian in your replies
you’ve got to embrace being weird or else you’re going to die both spiritually and for real life
Just learned that the NYPD apparently edited their own fucking Wikipedia page to make themselves look better 😀
ACAB 🐷🖕🥰
you get what you fucking deserve
the Wikipedia user, Majorlagg, deleted all of the (recently added) Corruption and Misconduct section, saying, “The material removed is slanderous and untruthful. It clearly was entered by anti-police groups as propaganda.”
He has since deleted his profile, after getting -4,338 points on his edit.
Wikipedia is by *no* means free of bias or problems, but most of the folks who go through the effort to edit and maintain it are the sorts of nerds with hard-ons for open information and documentation that reach all the way to bloody Jupiter. It really is quite beautiful.
Also there is something fucking evil about the exact phrasing they changed it to. “Most diverse city” specifically. Because they’re flouting Grice’s maxims - what relevance does the diversity of the city’s inhabitants have to the claim of reducing crime? The implication given by that flouted maxim is that the diversity must be relevant, that higher diversity means it’s more difficult to reduce crime; that diversity = more and/or more stubborn crime. And because in America the word “diversity” essentially means the existence of people who aren’t pearly white skinned and cis and straight and perfectly abled… they’re not only trying to make themselves look good, but they’re being bigots in the same breath, literally confirming the “as well as discrimination” bit.
Youtube: Here's a 17-45 minute video essay on why this popular media sucks actually- Me: Not interested + Don't recommend channel + L
how I sleep at night knowing trans joy will exist for as long as humanity exists:
Halfling commission for my childhood friend (getting in her first dnd campaign!)
