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Canadian Trash

@nesmonsterr

yeahh... I dont know what to put here so lets just pretend I put something great |18|Canadian | female

this movie is so fucking creepy jesus fuck

It’s by Tim Burton, what did you honestly expect?

Actually, it’s Henry Selick, who was the director of The Nightmare Before Christmas. The book was written by Neil Gaiman, though, and is far…far….worse.

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whatpunkin

Sorry, I’m about to geek the hell out.

The movie is captivating, but the book is twenty kinds of terrifying, even now, ten years after I first read it. As disturbing as the movie may have been to some, the things Selick added really serve to cushion just how horrific the story really is.

First of all, the character of Wybie does not exist in the book. Coraline is facing all of this nearly alone, with her only help coming from the sly comments of the cat, a warning from the circus mice, and the stone given to her by her neighbor, presented with no comment but that it “makes the unseen seen.”

Second, the Other Parents are never quite as warm (and, dare I say, normal) as they are in the gifs above. They’re described as having paper-white skin and the Other Mother’s hair is said to move on its own, and her long, red, claw-like nails don’t ease any uncertainty that she is absolutely, positively up to no good. The first time Coraline meets them, they (and the rest of the Others) seem to be playing roles (for whatever reason, Coraline does not seem to pick up on this), like they all know what to say and what to do and are simply waiting for Coraline to make her move in their terrifying play world. This is shown to be partly true when the Other Parents tell her they know she’ll be back soon after she refuses the buttons - this time, to stay.

Third, the Other Mother commits atrocities that really should not have been in a book for anyone not fully grown up. She physically deforms the world around Coraline to slow her progress in their game beyond any mild traps the movie portrays, and, instead of turning the Other Father into the wandering pumpkin-thing seen in the film, she simply ceases to use him and throws his body away in the cellar, leaving him to rot with whatever bit of sentience he has left. She begins to lose her touch, as Coraline gains the upper hand. Her world doesn’t just become a nightmare - it falls apart completely. No creepy but oddly cool bug furniture here, just the house that now appears to be a child’s drawing. Whatever the Other Mother is (a beldame, but something tells me she’s much more ancient and powerful than that), she does not give half a hump about what she has to do to ensnare Coraline. Destroy the supporting characters of her twisted creation? Done. Allow herself to be dismembered to ruin Coraline’s life in the normal world? Not even gonna bat an eyelash.

On a final, personal note, imagine eight year-old me, ignored by my parents, absorbed in the story and identifying with Coraline from the start. Imagine me finishing this bloodcurdling book and immediately thinking of my basement, where there is still a locked door that my grandmother swears up and down is nothing more than a storage room, but has not once in my (or my mother’s) lifetime unlocked.

Can you see why this book still scares me?

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hematite2

Fun fact I learned from seeing neil gaiman speak: when he first wanted the book published, his editor said it was too scary. He suggested she read it to her young daughter, and then decide. So she did, and her daughter wasn’t afraid, and it was published. Years later, Gaiman was sitting next to that daughter at an event and told her this story, and she said “oh I was terrified I just didn’t want to tell my mom”.

Coraline WAS too scary to be published, but exists anyway because a girl lied to her mother.

Confession time; while I may have started making my girlfriend lunches purely because I love her there’s now a little bit of gay spite involved as well. I want the straight girls she works with to see what they’re missing and hold their men to higher standards.

Operation Gay Spite has claimed its first straight relationship! I’m not sure I’ve ever been prouder of anything in my life!

Yuri manga by women about women (who aren't in high school)

Sadly a lot of them are one shots, but there’s a few longer ones. A lot of yuri manga is tragically too short and I’m always left wanting more. D: 

After some struggles with myself, I ended up putting stories about college aged women so long as it’s not “innocent school life” heavy. 

Yamaji Ebine

  • Love my Life (this one has a movie. A uni student coming out to her father and finding that her parents were both queer as well.)
  • Indigo Blue (A novelist caught between feelings for her boyfriend but also her feelings for another woman.)
  • Free Soul (22 year old aspiring manga artist writing a manga about a black jazz singer. Artist falls for a trumpeter of a jazz band.)
  • Sweet Lovin Baby (A young woman befriends a lesbian couple and falls for them. With three other short stories.)  

Morishima Akiko

  • Conditions for Paradise- An OL in love with a world hopping freelance journalist
  • We’re Aiming for Love Now (Journalist and a cutie in a cosplay store)
  • Happy Picture Diary - (REALLY FUNNY. An social worker and an editor’s daily life together. All chibi but with some really real lesbian life jokes)
  • Off-Time (an aging lesbian short one shot)
  • 20-Year-Old Girl x 30-Year-Old Maiden- (one shot, a 30 year old sensitive about her age with a 20 year old woman in her art class)
  • Princess of the Stars- (short- almost didn’t make it b/c high school flashbacks but it’s college roomies and it’s short and sweet- and challenges that “girls experiment with girls in high school then grow out of it” thing that people in Japan sometimes think)

Other Artists: 

  • Ohana Holoholo: Torino Shino (Saya lives with her bisexual former girlfriend and her son. Nico, an actor living up stairs and a close friend, drops by for a visit almost everyday.  Somewhat like family, and somewhat not, a story about their lives)
  • My Unique Day-Sakamoto Mano (women in an acting troupe together. one shot)
  • Abracadabra- Tanaka Minoru (a magician and a cute girl dealing with confessing to a girl for the first time)
  • Lonely Wolf, Lonely Sheep- Mizutani Fuka (two women with the same name meet. Warnings for self harm)
  • Cirque Arachne: Saida Nika (Two women working in the circus in a trapeze act. Stellar cute.)   
  • Maple Love- Otsu Hiyori (meeting in college; really cute)

Two that I recommend but are set apart from the others because one is written by a man and one is written with the male audience in mind respectively

This is by no means an exhaustive list and I know there’s more (one particularly that I wanted to put on here but couldn’t remember the title of) so feel free to add on your favorite adult queer lady manga to the list!

Turns out I already read most Morishima Akiko’s stuff and also Octave… So, adding these:

Apart:

added two more! :p

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sexanax

it really be light outside until 7pm now, goodbye seasonal depression u dumb bitch

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lesbx

before I came out as trans, whenever my mom saw me pick up anything heavy or whatever she would instinctively say “heeee-maaaan!” and after I came out she switched it to “sheeee-raaaa!” and you gotta love that

Pure

memeception

WE’VE HIT TERMINAL MEME

I’ve said “I hate this” so many times on this website, and never actually meant it, because “I hate this” is just shorthand for ‘this is an example of a meme given a twist I wasn’t expecting with intent to surprise’. Which is, in of itself, a meme on this site. God damn it.

But this… This is something else.

The rapidity of a meme’s introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, you’ll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. It’ll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeare’s jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind.

For the love of fuck, how do you explain loss.jpg? How do you explain gun?

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mommacomms

….I THOUGHT THIS WAS A YMCA REFERENCE

it is a YMCA reference - that’s one of the 6 memes being represented here

ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1)

this first lyric replacement (”take the breadsticks and run”) is a reference to the tumblr meme ‘stuffing breadsticks into my purse’. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. that’s meme two (2)

“man door hand hook car door” is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the generic ‘stuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill us’ story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3)

‘gun’ is… yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to “man door hand hook car door” for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4)

and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomes meme five (5)

which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6)

(but i need to add that this is the greatest version of loss.jpg i think i’ve ever seen. the initial ‘young man’ lines up with the guy bursting through the door, and the shock meme ‘gun’ matches the shock scene of the woman in the hospital and idk if OP even thought about that but it makes this just so much better)

I wasn’t going to reblog this, but @pagesofkenna‘s comprehensive meme-by-meme annotation is a thing of beauty and should be shared.

average tumblr post contains one meme, this post, which contains six, is an outlier and should not be counted

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japhers

it might also just be a coincidence due to loss.jpg’s format but the whole white minimalist four-panel setup is also suspiciously reminiscent of those early 2000’s rage comics

I was getting a political compass vibe too

tag urself im man door hand hook car gun

This works better than I thought it would.

This was in my senior project

I’m not sorry.

EIGHT MEME COMBO

FATALITY

We have officially created a new language 

I just had to do it to em

THIS FUCKING THREAD I’M GONNA CRY

I LOST IT AND MAN DOOR HAND HOOK CAR GUN AND DIDN’T EXPECT MORE I’M SOBBING

M E M E T E N

OwO?

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garecc
W o w

You know I had to

I hope you know this is the most cursed addition to my post, and I love it

In 5th grade some boys hid my desk in the boys bathroom. I was confused when I got to school and it was missing, so I just sat on the floor and read my book until the teacher came in and made them put it back.

I realize now they were trying to trick me into go into the boys bathroom, but no one actually told me that’s where my desk was, and it didn’t occur to me to ask.

Looking back I realize they had to make the effort to get to school early to move it, and I feel a tiny bit of regret for not reacting more.

In 3rd grade Richard brought his new lacrosse set in for show in tell. the ball went missing during class time and at the end of the day we all had to check our bookbags to look for it. I only glanced in mine (I just wanted to go home), but that evening I found it at the bottom of my bag. I was so scared of being blamed, I threw it into the neighbor’s yard and never told anyone.

I found out 2 years later that my bully Luke put it there to frame me, and he was still extremely frustrated I hadn’t gotten caught.

I’m pretty sure Richard got a new ball.

I had a crush on a boy I met in Kindergarten and made NO attempts to hide it because the people on TV were always telling each other when they liked each other. Didn’t work as well as I’d hope (i.e. didn’t work AT ALL and no boy wanted to hang out with me ever after that), but that’s not the point.

Skip ahead to third grade. We had a new kid who was kind of a jerk. One day he asks me if I have a crush and I’m like, “Yeah, [Crush]. And?” Dude turns around and yells to my crush “Hey! She has a crush on you!”

My crush just kinda sighs and is like, “Yeah. I know. Everyone knows. Thanks.”

So this guy was hoping to embarrass me in front of everyone but it completely backfired because I lack the social filter necessary to feel ashamed of my base desires.

One time in like kindergerden some kid stole my shoe and instead if reacting I just went the whole day barefoot. No one questioned it. He got bored of no reaction and just dropped the shoe but by then I was too committed and continued to walk around barefoot.

Some of yall grew up with a low base stat of “fucks given”

damn right we did

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prorevenge

I don’t work there anymore....

My employer decided to convert all of a certain class of our records from paper based files to digital. There were three immediate problems. Our company was not going to buy a generic system, but develop our own unique, tailored system. It was to be done on the cheap, with net savings for record keeping from Year 1. The guy in charge (let’s call him Genius) always (and I mean ALWAYS) thought he was the smartest guy in room. Believe me, he wasn’t.

Source: redd.it
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prorevenge

Try to fail me. See what it gets you.

Ok, so in ninth grade, I had one of my favorite teachers of all time teaching Biology. He was known for his extremely long and difficult packets, but everyone loved him anyway. He was one if those people who can make any assignment or subject seem easy, because everyone was having far too much fun to notice how much they were learning.

His TA, however, was another story. She had this internal power struggle going on 24/7, and she disliked me immediately when I first walked into class. We’ll call her Ms. B. Anyway, I began to notice that Ms. B ‘lost’ a much higher percentage of the assignments I turned in than anyone else, except for a friend of mine who was also on her naughty list. I began writing the date on every assignment I did, having the teacher sign it, and scanning it into my computer. Ms. B knew nothing about this, and instead of just printing out my scan of an assignment when she ‘lost it’, I would just complete and turn it in again, once again getting it signed and scanned.

Source: redd.it
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prorevenge

I pulled the ultimate check mate when my job tried to force me to quit for not returning to work a month after having my baby.

I worked 50+ hours a week managing the accounts and property for movie productions. (Small productions like Ridiculous 6, mostly Netflix productions) I was hired as the directors and accounting assistant. I found out I was pregnant and notified them immediately so we could be prepared when I went on maternity leave.

I went out of my way to make sure they were set by doing a lot of my work in advanced (I completed closing up the account for the production on site and setting up the accounts for the new production arriving after my leave. I trained my temporary replacement. I didn’t just work up until I went into labor… I went into work while in labor to work a 8 hour day tying up loose ends. I broke my back for this company often going in on days off or getting out long after my shift ended. I used my car and gas with no compensation. I took company calls outside of work and off the clock) I was beyond a team player!

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prorevenge

You don't want to play fair? Fine! I'll just shut the whole thing down!

This happened in high school.

For a little background about me, I was not the most outgoing person back then. I didn’t like to make waves, just wanted to sail through my four years and avoid as much drama as possible. The only time I really put myself out there was for Drama and Improv Club. It was my place, and where most of my friends were too.

Source: redd.it
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prorevenge

Thanks for the massage bruh!

This happened couple years ago. Long story, TL:DR at the end.

I was a student and i was working shit tons to be able to pay for my school. I was driving a cab or a limo at nights so I usually would skip classes except exams or finals. It was one of days that i had to be in school for a final exam. This exam would determine if i need to go another semester or not.

I borrowed my friends car that day. I was kinda hungry. After a quick drive thru, i grabbed some burger king. We hit a red light. I knew it was a long one. I pulled out fries, opened a ranch sauce and i was enjoying the fuck out of them fresh fries. Until i look at the rear view mirror. I was the very first car at the lights, in a super busy street. I saw a buick in the mirror, coming at me really fast. I totally knew that he/she wouldn’t be able to stop. I put it on park, pushed the hand brake (i’m still holding the ranch sauce.)and stepped on the brake so she won’t hit and push me to the crossing street. Sure enough she hit the brakes, her car slided and rear ended me. It was a noisy hit but i knew it wouldn’t damage the car too bad. Being a driver gives you that experience. It was the 4th time i was rear ended that year. Big city traffic. Smh.

Source: redd.it
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prorevenge

Lift my dress up at a party because you got dared to? I'll get you kicked off the lacrosse team.

Last year, I attended a tailgate party that so happened to be hosted by the men’s and women’s lacrosse team. I was wearing a tighter black dress with cute sneakers and a baseball cap to dress it down. Not that what I was wearing even mattered. Not even 10 minutes into this party, and my friend and I are on the lawn of this party talking to people when I feel hands around my waist and my dress completed lifted up to my waist. Mortified, I turned around and about a dozen of the lacrosse boys are sitting on a couch they brought outside cracking up.

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prorevenge

Nuked a business from orbit because I got a D-

This revenge story is two years in the making and is long, so my apologies.

Two years ago I started a distance PhD program. My very first full semester in the program consisted of an intro course which is basically “Welcome back to school. Here’s how to do research. Here’s how to do APA citations.” A LOT of it focused on proper APA writing and one of the first assignments was just doing a simple abstract. Okay, I can do that. I pull out my trusty APA guide which I had just bought online and complete the assignment. And I get a D-. I was completely shocked. I’d followed the book to the letter. How the hell did I get a D-? I messaged my professor and told her I followed the book exactly and she did the academic equivalent of patting me on the head and saying, “Of course you did, dear.”

Source: redd.it
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prorevenge

My job is super-easy? Okay. YOU do it.

This is pretty long. Smartass TL;DR at the bottom.

I was telling a Buddy about this sub, and he related this story, I tell it to you with his permission.

Buddy is a very charismatic guy, great friend, and probably a great co-worker. He’s the type of guy that everyone is fond of. Easygoing, and seems to have a knack for personal relationships. Always remembers birthdays, if he hears that a band you like is coming to town he’ll text you the news, that sort of guy.

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prorevenge

Suck it, ya filthy, fake Redcoat!

LTL, FTP and all that Jazz. Compared to some of the stories here mine is fairly tame, but considering my age at the time, the effort I had put into the whole affair and the resulting payoff, I would consider this pro enough to fit in here.

I’ve lived in Germany almost my entire life, yet through a twist of fate, I grew up learning the English language as a native speaker, since my father emigrated to Germany from the USA. As such, I’ve always had an American accent when speaking English and I’ve never met anyone who thought they felt the need to complain about it.

Source: redd.it
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prorevenge

Don't f*ck with Sgt. Jesse

This is a story about my father’s deceased friend, Jesse. Jesse died before Reddit, but he told me this story and I thought I’d share it. Sgt. Jesse was a black man, about 5'2 but with a really wiry build. Total dynamo of a guy. Sgt. Jesse came back from Vietnam an E-7, and was placed in command of a group of white soldiers, who were led by a bunch of E-6 “Good ole’ boys” who couldn’t handle having a black man give them orders. Jesse didn’t care, he just did his job. One day, Sgt. Jesse bought his wife a new Cadillac with white-wall tires, and he drove it on base his first day to get his DOD window sticker. The car was parked in their company’s parking lot where all the NCO’s parked, and much his to his surprise when he returned, all four tires were slashed.