*lies down to go to sleep*
my stream of consciousness:
“The marks humans leave are too often scars.”
-John Green, The Fault in Our Stars.
If the closest I can get to you is the soil in which you are buried, let my life be the seed you nourish.
The world will still spin without you. And I have to live with that.
Healing
The sad truth is that not everyone heals.
"Do Not Feel Bad For The Dead"
Rough draft- written 7/15/2022
Do not feel bad for the dead.
They aren't hurting,
They aren't lonely,
They aren't in pain.
Whatever they are,
wherever they are-
They are free.
Free from the torments of the mortal realm-
Free from pain-
Free from sorrow,
from mourning,
from fear-
Free from all the awful things
The world has to offer.
The dead no longer suffer-
The suffering is passed to
Those left behind.
They get to be free
And we remain,
Holding onto all our broken pieces-
All our emptiness and grief.
The pain of death
Isn't felt by the dead
But instead by the living.
The ones left behind
Live with air sucked from our lungs-
Blood drained from our veins-
Color sapped from our worlds-
The dead no longer suffer-
Instead we carry their suffering
As a final tribute to their lives.
The dead are free-
But we, the left behind,
Are trapped in our mourning.
We learn to live with less oxygen-
Less blood-
Less color.
We learn to live-
Holding all our broken pieces-
Helping others hold their broken pieces-
Until it is our turn to be free.
Do not feel bad for the dead.
The ones who are bleeding are living.
~Emma J. Beyor
i hope you are being compassionate with yourself today. you are your oldest childhood friend.
I am not meant for casual. I was born for soul crushing devotion.
40,000 years ago, early humans painted hands on the wall of a cave. This morning, my baby cousin began finger painting. All of recorded history happened between these two paintings of human hands. The Nazca Lines and the Mona Lisa. The first TransAtlantic flight and the first voyage to the Moon. Humanity invented the wheel, the telescope, and the nuclear bomb. We eradicated wild poliovirus types 2 and 3. We discovered radio waves, dinosaurs, and the laws of thermodynamics. Freedom Riders crossed the South. Hippies burned their draft cards. Countless genocides, scientific advancements, migrations, and rebellions. More than a hundred billion humans lived and died between these two paintings—one on a sheet of paper, and one on the inside of a cave. At the dawn of time, ancient humans stretched out their hands. And this morning, a child reached back.
A Timeline of Humanity:
“Solitude is dangerous. It’s very addictive. It becomes a habit after you realize how peaceful and calm it is. It’s like you don’t want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy.”
— Jim Carrey
Party of two is plenty
I want to watch a thunderstorm on a balcony with coffee and good company.