Avatar

All the wonderful and weird stuff.

@nerdyandyouknowit / nerdyandyouknowit.tumblr.com

main random dump blog

just a little smth i wrote...

Let me die. Let me die, so that I may find my heart beating rapidly to see if blood will make my mind go unnumbed. Let me die, so that I may see my body trying everything it can to keep me breathing. Let me die, so that I may remember every single thing I did, and see which ones made my life somewhat valuable. Let me die, so that I may see the faces of the people I care about crowding a hospital room asking what they did wrong. So that I may see that if I can’t bring myself to do it, someone, at least one person, will be the one to care. Let me die, so that I may remember the sunsets that made me smile, the arbitrary acts of kindness done unto me by good Samaritans, the cups of coffee brewed just right and the pats on the back I received from teachers and colleagues alike. Let me die, so that the weight of the world will be the one carrying me back down to the ground, down from the clouds of anger and frustration. Let me die, so that when I get back down to the ground I see that the grass has been growing just enough to welcome me. That the tress bore their fruit and the birds sang their song and the flowers blossomed to make me feel like a king that came to visit. That I may lay my heavy heart to rest by the indifferent wild flowers, and shut my eyes to block out the sun beaming down on my return. Let me die, so that I may find a reason to live.

you know that feeling, of when you finally getting used to accepting other people’s help and not needing to rely on yourself so much, that one day when the people you thought could help you are no longer that available, you find that you can’t go back to that independent, full-on survival mode self you once were, and you wish with all your might that you could, but. you. just. can’t? it’s one of the worst feelings ever, huh.

and then you just feel so helpless and all alone, and it makes you even more upset that you’re so helpless and all alone in the first place, that the problem you initially wanted to ask other people for help for gets much, much worse, and the only thing you can do now is to sit back and watch the chaos unfold? someone please tell me they go through this too.

you know that feeling, of when you finally getting used to accepting other people’s help and not needing to rely on yourself so much, that one day when the people you thought could help you are no longer that available, you find that you can’t go back to that independent, full-on survival mode self you once were, and you wish with all your might that you could, but. you. just. can’t? it’s one of the worst feelings ever, huh.

MAMMA MIA! (2008) + tags about Colin Firth

does anyone have that gif set handy where an interviewer asks Colin Firth “so when you meet the Creator at the pearly gates when you die - what do you hope he’ll say?” and Colin Firth replies: “I thought you were quite good in Mamma Mia.”

Colin Firth understood the assignment.

He wasn’t just good in Mamma Mia, he took the role specifically because of that outfit. I saw an interview where he said that he went “weak in the knees” when he saw it. We see you Colin Firth!

@yeolyeah sorry babe I can’t remember your other username 😂 but look! Colin!

stan colin firth (insert thumbs up bc i can’t figure out how to do emojis on my computer on tumblr posts -_-)

someone please help uninstall this useless af brain of mine and replace it with one that actually gets the important stuff done

Image

Don't mind us as we casually bust some myths for #BiVisibilityDay!

💖 Myth 1: You're not bisexual unless you like two or more genders equally.

Fact: The spectrum of bisexuality includes all kinds of individual preferences, and these can also change over time! Your attractions to different genders may be split 50/50, or maybe more like 40/60...20/80... You're still bi whichever way you split it.

💜 Myth 2: It's just a phase - you're actually just straight or gay.

Fact: It's okay to change your labels and preferences over time, but bisexuality is a valid sexual orientation! 92% of people who identify as bi still do 10 years later.

💙 Myth 3: You're not bi unless you've dated someone of the same gender, or dated multiple genders.

Fact: You don't have to date ANYONE to know that you're bi! Bisexuality describes who you're attracted to, not who you've dated.

If you're bisexual, we see you, and your sexual orientation is valid! You're always welcome here with us. 💖💜💙

There are some days where you just wanna say “damn, I did that?”

I’ve always said that the world is a different place for the heartbroken. It moves on a different axis, at a different speed. Time skips backwards and forwards fleetingly. The heartbroken might go through thousands of micro-emotions a day trying to figure out how to get through it without picking up the phone to hear that old familiar voice. In the land of heartbreak, moments of strength, independence, and devil-may-care rebellion are intricately woven together with grief, paralyzing vulnerability and hopelessness. Imagining your future might always take you on a detour back to the past. And this is all to say, that the next album I’ll be releasing is my version of Red.

Musically and lyrically, Red resembled a heartbroken person. It was all over the place, a fractured mosaic of feelings that somehow all fit together in the end. Happy, free, confused, lonely, devastated, euphoric, wild, and tortured by memories past. Like trying on pieces of a new life, I went into the studio and experimented with different sounds and collaborators. And I’m not sure if it was pouring my thoughts into this album, hearing thousands of your voices sing the lyrics back to me in passionate solidarity, or if it was simply time, but something was healed along the way.

Sometimes you need to talk it over (over and over and over) for it to ever really be… over. Like your friend who calls you in the middle of the night going on and on about their ex, I just couldn’t stop writing. This will be the first time you hear all 30 songs that were meant to go on Red. And hey, one of them is even ten minutes long.

Red (Taylor’s Version) will be out November 19.

#198: Can You Write a Story Right Now?

How long do you need to finish a story? A year? Three months? Two weeks? One day? It depends on how long it is, right? A book will take way longer than short fiction.

But what if length didn’t matter? You have to finish a story. It doesn’t matter how long. How much time do you need? Can you do it in an hour? What about 15 minutes?

When you do something for a long time, you develop a set of assumptions around the process. You get used to doing things in a certain way. Over time, these calcify into a set of personal rules that you’re unwilling to break. It happens to me all the time.

Write a story you say? I can certainly do that, but, I’ll need to think about it first. Then I’ll write an outline and start drafting. A few days later, I’ll come back and do a few rounds of edits. If everything goes well, there will be a story.

One of the most prevalent assumptions writers have is that creating stories is a lot of work and takes a long time. Often, that’s true. But does it always have to be the case?

Here’s a challenge. Can you finish a story right now? If you’re out of ideas, start with a prompt. If you don’t have much time, make the story as short as it needs to be to finish it in time (6-word stories count).

These are the rules:

  1. It doesn’t have to have an arc, three acts or anything like that.
  2. It doesn’t have to be good.
  3. You don’t have to publish it.
  4. You don’t have to like it.
  5. It just has to exist.

All right. How did it go? Was it fun? Was it hard to do?

The real question is, could you do an exercise like this every day? How good a storyteller/writer would you be if you wrote 365 tiny stories like this every year?

The best way to improve as a writer is to write a lot of different stories. This is exactly how you do it. Sometimes they can be longer. Sometimes they’ll be short. What matters is that you’re exercising your creative muscles and putting words on the page.

Over time, you might find yourself returning to the same character over and over again. Or maybe you’ll combine a few stories into one, and an idea for a novel will be born.

And in case you’re curious, here’s my draft:

Morrison shifted uncomfortably in his recliner.

“Have you been drinking today, Mr Morrison?” his therapist asked.

“Of course not.”

The therapist stared at him the way she always did.

“Fine. I had one beer when I woke up.”

The therapist raised her eyebrow. “One? When you woke up?”

“Just one.”

She kept staring.

“I don’t have to tell you.”

“You’re right. You don’t,” she said. “I booked you for a mandatory screening on 34th Street at 1 PM. Your probation officer has been notified.”

Now, it was Morrison’s turn to be quiet.

“Tell me, Mr Morrison, why today?”

He knew she wasn’t real — just an avatar with an AI pulling the strings — but he still hated her.

“After 822 days,” she said. “your probation was due to expire next week.”

Morrison clenched his fists. “Let me out of here. Now.”

“I can’t, I’m afraid.”

“It’s an emergency! Let me out.”

Her image disappeared, replaced by the blue glow inside the mental health pod he was lying in as it executed the emergency evacuation procedure. The cover unlocked, then opened. Outside, four others queued for their turn.

Morrison stumbled out into the rain, his ankle monitor buzzing. He had no idea where he would go, but it sure wasn’t going to be the 34th.

Want More?

My email subscribers receive a notification when I publish these posts along with a few things I found interesting or helpful on the literary internet every week. Click the link below to join the club.

(I won’t spam you or pass your email to a third party. You can unsubscribe at any time.)

Past Editions

In case you missed this week’s post!

Rb if your account is safe space for

-LGBTQ+

-People from every nation

-All religions

-Dark skin people

-Asian people

-Uyghur Turks and Muslims

-People with mental disorders

-People with illness

-Neurodivergent people

I want to dread going to bed and wake up excited for the day. I want to see a movie I loved as a kid and not be ashamed to cry. I want to run around my room and dance like no one is watching me. I want to eat and drink as much candy and soda I want without having to worry about getting scolded for gaining a gram of weight. I want to look up at the night sky and wonder if the stars really do grant wishes. I want to choose my friends better and not lose the ones I have left. I want to sleep and actually feel better in the morning. I want to grow back down and actually wait to grow up.

To all the book nerds out there...

Do you ever get this numbing, empty feeling in your chest when you read something sad or heartbreaking? You don't cry and you want to cry but you somehow can't and it frustrates you and you just feel this kind of hole start to grow bigger and bigger in your chest? Like you're never gonna be able to move past that but then do after a few months and feel really really guilty about it? You see all these memes and hear all these stories about people crying when reading something really sad and can't relate 'cause you don't remember ever crying over something like that? Then you feel upset because you think it isn't normal, and start to question whether or not you're just plain weird or a psycopath who's devoid of emotions or sympathy?

Yeah, me too.