rowe rowe rowe your boat 👾

oh my god i would absolutely fuck up some fettuccine alfredo rn and i don’t even like alfredo sauce

also my grammy’s mashed potatoes + OH MY GOD some good shrimp and beef spring rolls with peanut sauce

allos are not allowed to tell anyone on the asexual and aromantic spectrums how they should act and behave about their own sexuality or else i will straight up kill you. i will explode you

@oceans-calling @stardustanddaffodils @treehouse-arson and many others I can’t remember the url of :(

ID: A drawing of two cartoony cats lying in a bed together cuddling. One is holding an orange phone and the other has a book on top of it but is reaching towards the other cat. Both are blushing slightly. Two mugs sit on the edge of the bed, and a radio sits above their heads on the bed, which has a blue and white checkered bedspread. The drawing is entirely in orange, white, and pale blue with black lines. At the top is the caption "I get to spend my days with you. How did I get so lucky?" End ID.

You can only reblog this today.

Fun little math trick I find really helpful: the ratio of a mile to a kilometer is within 1% of the Golden Ratio. That means that if you have a good memory for Fibonacci numbers (1 2 3 5 8 13 21 34 55 89) you can convert pretty accurately by taking consecutive Fibonacci numbers.

For example, 89 kilometers is really close to 55 miles (55.3). Or, say you need to convert 26 miles to kilometers: 26 can be written as 21 plus 5, so taking the next Fibonacci number up gives 34 and 8, meaning it should be around 42 kilometers. Sure enough, it's 41.8 km!

i need several moments, math like this scares me

Not gonna lie, as much as I want to be helpful and comprehensible, I am very proud of provoking that reaction image.

call him a professional chef the way hes so good at cracking eggs

[id: several black-and-white sketches of dream smp characters, in which wilbur is depicted as a trans man. in the first, wilbur and eret are shaking hands. wilbur is saying “nice to meet you, i’m wilbur!” while eret stares down at wilbur’s boobs, thinking “ooh. i want those.” in the second drawing, wilbur and sally (a trans woman who hasn’t realized her identity yet) are laying in bed. wilbur’s saying “well, i was born a girl, but i realized i’d be happier as a boy, so-” and sally, shocked, exclaims “you can DO that??” in the third drawing, wilbur is comforting a young fundy. fundy says “i hate being a girl! i wish i could be anything else!!” and wilbur, smiling, says “well, i have good news for you, bud.” in the last, tommy and tubbo, both young kids (and soon-to-be trans boys) are laying in a field together. tommy says “man, wilbur’s so cool. i wanna be just like him someday.” and tubbo replies “yeah, same.” the next panel shows the same drawing with the meme of rdj pointing at himself, and the text “they are both transgender.” end id]

i fucking love kermits nephew. like look at him

peak character design. he’s just a little baby

here’s weirder asks

oatmeal :)

it was about the food but now it's also about her

She says thank you

OATMEAL!!!!

the passage of time and the coming of tomorrow count as a crime against humanity and therefore

It's Elephants Foot Friday!!!!

RB to instantly receive 8000 roentgens of radiation

Don't get me wrong the USA is a hell country and most of what is considered usamerican culture is a fucking NIGHTMARE and a lot of us are suffering both in and out of the country bc of it but. There's certain things that people outside of the USA make fun of and not in a jovial way that I'm like hmm. Fucka you actually

"why are the food and drink proportions so big" why shouldn't they be??? What's so bad about nobody feeling like they're still hungry and also often times it's with the intention of having leftovers bc you're not expected to clean your plate at restaurants. Also who doesn't like a large beverage????

"americans are so FAT and LOUD and CHEERFUL" yeah and our meat is also fucking huge. got any other cool and rad things about us???

"ugh [insert food that is usually either southern food or immigrant food but especially biscuits and gravy for some fucking reason???] Looks so gross and unhealthy why would you eat that??" Because it's fucking good and tasty what're you talking about

"why would you take a road trip???" Well historically it's because due to the infastructure and lack there if that was established in the 1940s and continues to this day road trips are often the cheapest and most accessible form of travel and they come with the added practically that depending on what supplies you bring what season it is and what car you have you can sleep in said car during the journey which is an added level of both convenience and cuts down on costs further.

For most people though it's because it's fun go grab a bunch of snacks and a friend or two and go some place it rules

"cringey Americans use FAHRENHEIT for WEATHER" my thermostat is always set at 69 😎😎😎😎

Miniature Dinosaurs // David White Glass

The worst thing filmmaker’s ever did was decide that because it’s called “Dracula” it must be because it’s about the actual guy Dracula and his melancholic woes and alluring world of darkness and seduction and not the fact that every single character in the book hates him. Every single worker he comes across cusses him out and tells him he’s ugly and his vibes are rancid. Jonathan Harker wants to chop him up with a machete Quincy wants to shoot him so bad Renfield wants to crush his windpipe Van Helsing and Seward and Arthur and Mina and everyone else want him dead by impalement and decapitation. It’s called “Dracula” because every single character wants a piece of that bastard.

So fun fact: At some point in my life I got it into my head I wanted to make a Highly Ambitious Sci-Fi Simulation Murder Mystery Game, where all the characters in it were fully simulated and had their little simulated goals and ANY of them could have done it and it was up to you to piece together the clues they’d naturally leave behind in the wake of their nefarious deeds to decide who actually had the means and opportunity as you slowly realized EVERYONE present had motive.  Obviously, it would be a riff on Murder on the Orient Express, but that’s not important.  But, when I realized that I wanted to have a SINGLE person be the target of all that aggression, I realized in my heart of hearts that person had to be Dracula.  And BOY did the plot of the game write itself out at that point. So many various reasons people could want this bastard dead. 

Ultimately, the ambitiousness of the simulation was its undoing: I wasn’t yet in a point in my programmer skill tree where I knew how to properly debug AI, so it ended up unfinished (and for a platform I no longer have access to, alas).  HOWEVER let me leave you with my very favorite bug: Because I needed lots of reasons for characters to be constantly moving around and not just holing up in their space-train cars, they had various bodily needs, like hunger and thirst and the need to go to the bathroom, you know, normal things.  Imagine my horror and delight when I was running a test game to figure out why Dracula kept Not Getting Murdered only to discover he was *LOCKING HIMSELF IN THE BATHROOM AND PISSING ETERNALLY*.  Turns out I had a bug where you just...wouldn’t stop.   I ALSO had a bug with the locking mechanism and people could let themselves IN but not out, so eventually the entire cast ended up there in the Infinite Piss room, unable to leave, and unwilling to murder because of all the witnesses.  Hell is real and its a buggy simulation game.

Op I’ve been laughing at this for 5 minutes. Literally have tears streaming down my face.

Y... you're OP.

dracula, omfg