Stuff

WHEN WAS SOMEONE GONNA TELL ME THAT TUMBLR IS RUNNING ADS ON REDDIT RIGHT NOW???

Christ this is so fucking cool

I haven't been able to stop thinking about this. There's so much going on here. I genuinely love the conception of gender as mystic autodeism. Gender as divine microcosm. Gender as Great Work. It's gnostic, it's alchemical, it's got notes of bacchanalian worship of the body and the inherent magic of self-discovery. This but unironically.

Shoutout to transphobes for thinking gender is this fucking badass

i'm reading this dictionary of angels throughout history, religion, and culture and this guy is definitely my favorite so far

The Paul siblings 😍😍😍

Every day I am tormented by the fact that I am the mind behind Roop Paul and that people who weren’t friends with me or following me back then almost NEVER believe me. I made this meme in picsart when I was like 14 years old and now at 20 I see it all the fucking time and friends always send it to me on Instagram when a popular meme page reposts it like “didn’t u make this in 8th grade djjsjfjskcjKfn” and almost every time I see a meme involving rupaul the comments are full of Roop jokes . And there’s this one meme page I follow that’s like pretty small but the username is “motherroop” and their followers call them Roop . And like I’m just constantly reminded of my own greatness and the fact that I will never be granted recognition for my extremely powerful and absolutely fucking fascinating mind 💔

I understand. my sister’s best friend made the “imagine troy bolton” meme when he was in sixth grade. It’s a hard legacy to carry

THIS ONE????

Having your own personal blog is honestly quite a nice change of pace compared to Reddit. I could put a funny GIF of George Bush getting hit by a shoe on here and the worse case scenario is that no one even notices.

You put that on a big subreddit and you get your eyes gouged out and a heap of political discourse underneath your post.

YOU HEAR THAT EVERYONE??? I’M A LIL GECKO BOY

This a Moonmelon, scientifically knows as asidus. This fruit grows in some parts of Japan, and is known for its vibrant blue color. What you probably don’t know about this fruit is that it can switch flavors after you eat it. Everything sour will taste sweet, everything salty will taste bitter, and it gives water a strong orange-like taste. It’s also very expensive…costing about ￥16000 JPY (which is about 200 dollars).

or you know this could be photoshopped

but idk

you tell me

this is alexandrias melon (wow)

it never grows seeds but it can still produce other melons (its magic)

it is grown deep in the jungles of peru and can prevent you from aging well into the hundreds

it is known by the natives there as k’uhul ajaw cacao shi-jiiy.

its really strange how all of these pictures look exactly the same because everything on the internet is true

This is the Peppermeloni. (seriously gosh just look at that sexy mother fucker) Its scientific name is Tumblrous Pepperonus.

The only known specimen is in a pot in David Karps treasure dungeon. It is a tradition that a single slice is given to every tumblr blog that reaches 500,000 followers.

It has the remarkable property of being as healthy as watermelon but tasting like cheesy pepperoni pizza.

This planet is really just so amazing guys wow.

Patrickmelon

The taste of this melon will always surprise you.

I’m fucking done with this site

This is the evermelon.

If you cut this watermelon a certain way you will find that it has seemingly regenerated. You can do this an infinite number of times and will have a neverending supply of melon.

OH GOD I haven’t seen this post in YEARS and THAT is the fucking additon to it!?

ALRIGHT THATS IT ITS TIME TO STOP

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Ravenmelon and I’m ebony black  (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips, and a lot of people tell me I look like watermelons (AN: if u don’t know what dat is get da hell out of here!).

Nothing will ever be better than the last one

HASHBFJGJDHRJFKFKRJ

That last one took me out at the god damn kneecaps-

Someone wrote a really interesting article about why people believe these sorts of things so easily.

When I tell you I snorted!

legolas:

gimli:

aragorn:

gandalf:

BLEASE

Gollum

Eomer:

Boromir:

Elrond:

This post is like getting pelted with marshmallows shot out of a tennis ball launcher

@karaboutmyart

This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen in my life

elrond big naturals

absofuckinlutely not

You’re just continuing a long line of retail tradition babey

I feel cheated. no one on Reddit told me that tumblr is a serotonin factory. Keep liking and reblogging my posts please thanks

Just don't fly too close to the sun.

Throw me to the sun and I’ll get it pregnant

Fellas (gender neutral), you heard him. Ready the catapults.

Stalin's USSR = most woke nation to ever exist. You heard it here first, folks.

Imagine, for a moment, trying to figure out what the fuck is being measured on a scale where the USSR is a 10 and Portland, Oregon is an 8 without the excruciating knowledge of the hyperspecific neuroses of fascists over the past decade

Absolutely.

Always thinking about them

why are you calling him green shrek?? shrek is already green??

No one is regular, everyone is extraordinary

Fixed

This post is a train wreck.

Why do you need to put ordinary? Shouldn’t it just be the words without the adjective?

$0

I love this…. This… Also the a is optional you dont have to add it.

Did you guys know that the most recent version of sharks have fins that are kinda leg like and they like to walk up onto land?

no way i must have missed an update!

The Epaulette shark is only about 9 million years old as a species, making it the most recent branch in the shark family. And it is slowly but surely evolving into a land animal

LAND SHARK!

LAND SHARK!

WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN HE COMES FOR YOU?!?!

I will give him a kiss on the top of his little head

“In one of the most notable moments in sports history, Kenyan runner Abel Mutai was just a few feet from the finish line, but became confused with the signage and stopped thinking he had completed the race.

 A Spanish athlete, Ivan Fernandez, was right behind him, and after realizing what was happening, he started shouting at the Kenyan for him to continue running; but Mutai didn't understand his Spanish. Fernandez eventually caught up to him and instead of passing him, he pushed him to victory.

A journalist asked Ivan, "Why did you do that?"

Ivan replied, “My dream is that someday we can have a kind of community life where we push and help each other to win.”

The journalist insisted “But why did you let the Kenyan win?" Ivan replied, "I didn't let him win, he was going to win.” The journalist insisted again, “But you could have won!”

Ivan looked at him & replied, “But what would be the merit of my victory? What would be the honor of that medal? What would my Mom think of that?” Values are transmitted from generation to generation. What values are we teaching our children? Let us not teach our kids the wrong ways to WIN.”

i miss the sex workers and kinksters and toy collectors and furry porn makers so much man

rocking back and forth on the front porch cradling a mug of tea on my lap blanket eyes misting fondly as i remember long posts talking about lube safety

I want to start an international grassroots coalition to make the internet horny again and I am not kidding.

My german ass when I remember that english just doesn't have decent translations for some words I use on the daily