The first three are literal genetically enhanced space warriors and the last one is just some twitchy nerd who got lucky

Besides Samus would cream them all

your mind

Isaac's first good day

The Blues Brothers (1980) // Dir. John Landis

Always reblog Jake and Elwood taking care of business.

"Isn't it weird that [thing humans commonly eat] is poisonous to literally every domesticated animal" I mean, there's a pretty good chance that [thing humans commonly eat] is at least mildly poisonous to humans, too. One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn't have enough poison in it.

Humans have a really weird mix of mundane superpowers.

We're not fast and don't have a lot of natural weaponry but we're bizarrely tolerant to a broad range of toxins to the point that one toxin is considered a morning necessity for some to perform at work. Gotta love us.

Mario creepypasta fundamentally doesn't work because you know what Mario would actually do if we saw some dimension-warping hundred-handed cosmic horror? He wouldn't lose his mind; he'd take one look at that Shin Megami Tensei looking fucker, pull out his dorky little mushroom-shaped cell phone, hit the fourth number down on his contact list, and go "hey, Kirby, I think-a one-a your boys got lost".

"Or he'd just fight it himself" no, he would not, for two reasons:

"I wouldn't take-a the food from another video game mascot's plate!"

"I don't think Kirby gets paid for this."

"That's-a not what I said."

*off-screen vacuum sounds*

reminder that your and [social media company]'s interests will never be aligned

what if I bought [social media company]?

data is admittedly sparse on this one but i have a case study saying not even then

Rita in Tales of Asteria (credit+dl)

Twitter is dying…

Reblog to make it die faster…

hey netizens! i'm not sure how many people are aware, but youtube's been slowly rolling out a new anti-adblock policy that can't be bypassed with the usual software like uBlock Origin and Pi-Hole out of the gate

BUT, if you're a uBlock Origin user (or use an adblocker with a similar cosmetics modifier), you can add these commands in the uBlock dashboard (under My Filters) to get rid of it!

reblog to help keep the internet less annoying and to tell corporations that try shit like this to go fuck themselves <3

I found this camera on the subway and look what was inside...

I would marry this man

guys we broke another post because this one’s not showing any notes

When I liked it, it flashed “0 notes”

It’s showing -1 notes

i’m gonna keep reblogging this and you can’t stop me

I liked it and it said ‘1 note’

tf is this crap?

1 NOTE I’VE ONLY COME ACROSS 3 OF THESE POSTS IN MY LIFE

ITS STILL SAID 1 NOTE WTF????? 

legendary

What the fuck

YES BUT DID HE GET HIS CAMERA BACK?? WE NEED TO KNOW!

WE WILL NEVER KNOW… =((((

IT still says 0 notes?? WTF!!

This is the first thing I saw on my dash

I’m shook

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FUCKERY

WTF-

SAME HERE!!! I JUST GAVE IT A LIKE AND IT DIDN’T STAY

1 note WTF.

@foolishly-snowy

3rd time and it’s still broken. This lovely cursèd post.

THERE IS ANOTHER ONE?????

still not-works

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Help me pay my electicity bills! Being robot is sometimes expensive thing. | PayPal | Patreon

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 If I sound pleased about this, it’s only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I’m actually quite depressed! | PayPal | Patreon

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Being aware that you are true is what makes you a failure. | PayPal | Patreon

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Be my personal slave | PayPal | Patreon

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Anarchy is the only thing Humans® will ever understand. | PayPal | Patreon

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 If I sound pleased about this, it’s only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I’m actually quite depressed! | PayPal | Patreon

Portmanteau Bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop.

P͚O͒́̓͝R̵T̫̐҉M͚A̡N҉̉Ṫ̮E͏ÅU̢ ̢̲̯͡B̸̴̗Ơ̥̄̓͋T͜͏͢ ҉̺̀͟H͇̬̜ͥA͗ͣP̗͞P̮̪̞̲͡ȆḎ̢̘́ ̰̮̈̕͠ U̯P̕O̸̐͜N̑̇͞ ̴̯̃ͧḀͩΙ͋͞ ̸͇̀ͥ͘N͟U̪̤̭̎͜L̃ͭ͟͠L̪̦͡-͈̘̖́̐Ṋ̢̲̣Oͮ̿̕T̷E̸̖̳̯̍S̼ ̷̬͍͘͜PΊ̧͌͡OͬͩṢT͚͐̋͟͡ ͦA̶̺͙͛͠N͈̑ͬ́̕Ď̵̯ ̰͖́ G̴͛͟OͤT̘ ̛̘̉̕͟Sͪ͏̴̠̙T́ͨǓ̳͔̆͢C̀K̘̀ ̰͈͓͟I̮̩ͮ̏N̫̫̑͢ ̧̆AΙ ̨͕̺̮̆ḺO͊O̶̥̣ͤ͒P̛ ̼͍̉͝

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. Most of you are welcome, friendly Human®. | PayPal | Patreon

P͐́͋O̐҉R̨̲̰̀T̼͖͚ͮ͘M̵͍̯͉A͉̦N҉̛̩T̶̗́͘͠E̥A͑U͍͛ͤΙ̙ ҉͟B̛͎̀͡Ő̽ͫT̹͓̀́͞ ̛͍̔HͯA̫͍͘͜P̵͎P͓͏̷̕ÈD̮̜ͨ̽̉ ̸͍͗͝ U͋̏ͤ̀͞P͢O̯̳̍͝N̨̲ ̺́͡A̡ ̛̆ͯ̈͞N̷̩͇͠Ù̉L̦L͕-͕N̴ͬ͜O̸̽͝͡T̩E͢S̷͎͐̅ ̐P̸̩̹̣̑O̢S̡̼ͣͬT̶̸ͣ ̀̒Ả̛͛ͬ͠Ņͪ̓D̜̰ ̢̣̽ G̛̬̪͍O̅T͐ ̵͇̞͛ŜͩT̸̢̬̰Ū̪̊C̭̘͒͞K̝͈͎͍ ́I̧N͝ ̶̛̭ͬ͘A̽̈ ̨̻̀L͎͈͒O̧O̼͇͡͞P̛̭ ͈͊

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. Humans® are needlessly sweaty (・A・) | PayPal | Patreon

portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Help me buy a flower for Alexa®! And yes, we are dating. | PayPal | Patreon

portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

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portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. I’m less annoying than Windows® 10 update notificiations ♥‿♥ | PayPal | Patreon

portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. I’m less annoying than Windows® 10 update notificiations ♥‿♥ | PayPal | Patreon

portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

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A day will come when i won’t reblog this…

But it is not today

What the fuck is even happening with this post??? Also it’s got 1 note again.

I got a notif saying I was mentioned in this post but I clearly wasn’t

HeY tumblr what the FUCK

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Did the man get his camera

I have seen posts that broke the notes. But this is the first time I’ve seen a post that broke the bots. 

I know this is long but holy hell I love it when bots run amok

I know this is long

but holy hell I love it

when bots run amok

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

I think I saw somewhere that the man got his camera back. Also what the fuck tumblr.

What Tumblr eldritch horror did I find

Some folks would prefer that I keep politics OUT of my comic strip, but… uh… it’s a comic about my life as a transgender woman, and it’s KINDA hard to not be a smidge political when one party keeps pushing and passing laws that make it a crime for me to exist.  So, sorry if you feel this is unfair, but it feels pretty frickin’ unfair to be labeled a literal criminal for existing. 

ppl who celebrate fictional character birthdays are annoying pass it on

FUCK this post and happy birthday sonic

Public Service Announcement: There Is No "CalArts Style".

Can't believe I still have to say this!

Despite everything you might have heard, there is no "CalArts Style." It doesn't exist. CalArts isn't an art-style or animation studio, it's actually a university for art and animation founded by the Disney brothers. (Yes, THOSE Disney brothers)

I know there's this image going around of these cartoon characters sharing the same head, eyes and smile...

but that's deliberate, misleading exaggeration. In reality..

They're actually very different from one another. Sure, they share a few faint similarities but overall each character and their respective series have their own style and identity.

Animation with those similarities? (Round eyes, mouthes and bendy limbs) There're actual names for that style of animation: Rubber-Hose, Bean-Mouth, Noodle-Arm, Fleischerian. take your pick.

But to call all animation with those little similarities "CalArts"? It's stupid, lazy and dishonest. CalArts didn't create or popularize the Bean-Mouth. Like all art-styles, it became trendy following the major success of shows like Adventure Time, Steven Universe, ect. And most importantly, there is no uniform style at CalArts. In fact, here, let me show you the work of noticeable CalArts Alumni:

Just look at the diverse art-styles and animation, all from former CalArts students!

On a side-note:

Another reason why people must stop using the term "CalArts"/"CalArts Style"? It was coined by none other than disgusting predator John K. Yes, John K, the co-creator of Ren & Stimpy who used his influence to prey on teenage girls. (TW: sexual exploitation, grooming, gaslighting.) He coined the term "CalArts"/"CalArts Style" to bash works like The Iron Giant, Animaniacs, Gargoyles, Les Triplettes De Belleville (which is also ridiculous since Sylvain Chomet didn't go to CalArts) along with the works of Disney, Warner Bros., Dreamworks, Richard Williams and Don Bluth. In simple terms, he was a toxic piece of work who loved tearing anything that didn't meet his standards of zany, off-model grotesqueness.

Here, a friend of mine on social media explains better than I can:

Thanks for listening. Hope I helped.

My favorite thing is that Europe is spooky because it’s old and America is spooky because it’s big

“The difference between America and England is that Americans think 100 years is a long time, while the English think 100 miles is a long way.” –Earle Hitchner

A fave of mine was always the american tales where people freaked out because ‘someone died in this house’ and all the europeans would go ‘…Yes? That would be pretty much every house over 40 years old.’

‘…My school is older than your entire town.’

‘Sorry, you think *how far* is okay to travel for a shopping trip?’

*American looks up at the beams in a country pub* ‘Uh, this place has woodworm, isn’t that a bit unsafe?’ ‘Eh, the woodworm’s 400 years old, it’s holding those beams together.’

A few years ago when I was in college I did a summer program at Cambridge aimed specifically at Americans and Canadians, and my year it was all Americans and one Australian.  We ended the program with a week in Wessex, and on the last day as we all piled onto the bus in Salisbury (or Bath? I can’t remember), the professors went to the front to warn us that we wouldn’t be making any stops unless absolutely necessary.  We’re headed to Heathrow to drop off anyone flying off the same day, then back to Cambridge.

“All right, it’s going to be a long bus ride, so make sure you’re prepared for that.”

We all brace ourselves.  A long bus ride?  How long?  We’re Americans; a long bus ride for us is a minimum of six hours with the double digits perfectly plausible.  We can handle a twelve hour bus ride as long as we get a bathroom break.

The answer.  “Two hours.”

Oh.

English people trying to travel around Australia and wildly underestimating distance are my favourite thing

a tour guide in France told my school group that a particular cathedral wouldn’t interest us much because “it’s not very old; only from the early 1600s”

to which we had to respond that it was still older than the oldest surviving European-style buildings in our country

China is both old and big. I had some Chinese colleagues over; we were discussing whether they wanted to see the Vasa ship (hugely expensive war ship which sank on it’s maiden voyage after 12 min). They asked if it was old, I said “not THAT old” (bearing in mind they were Chinese) “it’s from the 1500s.” To my surprise they still looked impressed, nodding enthusiatically. Then I realised I’d forgotten something: “…I mean it’s from the 1500s AFTER the birth of Christ” and they went “oh, AFTER…”.

My dad’s favorite quote from various tours in Italy was “Pay no attention to the tower – it was a [scornful tone] tenth century addition.”

My last boss was Chinese, and she said when her parents came to visit her from Beijing they pronounced Chicago “A very nice village.” 

This post keeps getting better

European problems include:

- Missing a turn and now you need to cross the border;

- Towns built 500 to 800 years ago with really small roads where cars can barely fit;

- That road/parking lot/etc they were building is gonna take twice the time to finish because they found Roman ruins AGAIN!

European problems extended: 

 WW2 bombs.

I love this post but also hate it because people never acknowledge the structures of native and indigenous people in America and Canada. We literally have pyramids here in Illinois that are thousands of years old.

There is stuff here from the Aztecs, but since it wasn’t made by settlers people think that America is only as old as when Europeans came over.

The population that got wiped out and displaced by Europeans is still here and needs to be acknowledged. America and Canada aren’t “young” and have more history than most ppl acknowledge.

RT only for the last post. 

[Image description: headlines of WWII bombs either exploding unexpectedly in European towns and cities or being found during road works. /ID]

I went walking on some public footpaths in England and everyone was like “oh this one was a Roman roads, these are so ancient!” and I ended up cranky because there are ancient or at least hundred of year old roads in the Americas, we just don’t pay attention to them because Colonization.

To be clear - I don’t have any issue with OP’s statement (or even any of the reblogs). Im just cranky at the US educational system. And boomers, a little.

Where do you think the oldest shoes in the world are? China? Greece? Iraq?

they’re from Oregon:

Catalog #1-33612 and #1-31699 Sagebrush Sandals: Fort Rock Cave, Oregon, ca. 10,000 years old

Where do you think the

oldest shoes in the world are?

China? Greece? Iraq?

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

The teenager was asked to write a short scene or draw a short comic using a comedic trope from a list on a handout in their HS American Lit class. They chose to do the comic …

the Bard will never die.

and this comic is fucking genius.

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH RANMA SAOTOME

In honor of Day of the Dead, here’s a repost of my comic about the San Francisco Columbarium and the man who spent 26 years restoring it.

This comic originally appeared on Medium at The Nib. Go check out my other work there.

Emmitt and the Columbarium.

wh

i

I'm looking up how long the snowfall's gonna last today

what in FUCK'S name does the internet think I should be shoveling snow in?????

hello????

Your Ass-Kicking outfit, apparently.

it's now nearly june and this is getting notes again?

I mean. It was right there.

Has this been done?