Grey Squirrel, nose & paws in its nest. Highbanks Metropark, OH, USA

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cmyk test pages r like angels to me

do you understand

I made you something OP

the way this is phrased to avoid confronting the reality that people can’t afford food anymore

Babygirl

[All comics in order here]

i Need a scenario where the jl needs to identify a child’s parents (maybe the child has powers?) and multiple people are claiming to be the child’s parents and shazam (armed with the wisdom of solomon) goes “let’s cut the child in half”

Tumblr already has a personalization algorithm it's called my beloved mutuals who have great taste and only wish to psychologically damage me sometimes

so cruel of this sourceror to cast such wicked spells on an innocent beaste

Mordenkainens Forced Boo Boo Roll

ASV "Haliastur"

Commissioned for a supplement in the work focused on flight mechs

My baby daughter got her adorable puffin-print dress absolutely CAKED in mud crawling around the yard and my first thought was "oh no her beautiful dress"

And my second thought was "oh huh it really WOULD be easy to unconsciously steer her away from playing in the dirt. Unlike my son, whose outfits are usually some kind of solid dark easily washed pants plus a shirt that doesn't trail in the dirt like a dress does."

Anyway something something gender roles start getting shoved on kids from literal birth, but with a little time to think about things, YOU TOO can let your children of any gender absolutely destroy their clothes in the dirt pit they're digging in your garden

#all clothes provided through hand me downs and grandparents#we asked for non strongly gendered or branded things and that mostly worked for firstborn boy#but baby girl has gotten nothing but the cutest little dresses#that I am absolutely not going to stress if she destroys because it's not like they'll last until next summer anyway#at which point she'll be big enough for her brother's dirt-compatible pants#now if we can get her to stop EATING the dirt that would be GRAND#her pronouns are om/nom#literal definition of a baby

A blonde walks in a bank to get a loan. “I need to borrow $100 for a month,” she says. 

The banker frowns, but takes her information anyway. He runs her credit but can’t find a report. “I’m sorry,” he says, “but in the absence of a credit record, we’ll have to charge 20% interest on the loan, and you’ll need to put up collateral.

“What does that mean?” the blonde says.

“It means,” the banker says, “you’ll have to repay us $120, and you’ll need to give us something more valuable to hold onto until you pay us back.”

“Something more valuable?” The blonde says. “How about my Ferrari?”

The banker nearly snorts his coffee all over his desk, but he prides himself on customer service so he soldiers on. He runs the title on the Ferrari and what do you know, the blonde owns it free and clear. “Okay, he says, “I’ll print out the papers.”

“Just so I understand,” the blonde says, “I give you my Ferrari and you give me a hundred dollars, right? And then in a month, I give you $120 and you give me my Ferrari back?”

“Yes,” the banker says, “that’s the deal.”

She signs the paperwork and hands him the keys. He counts out $100 for her and watches her saunter out the door.

A month to the day later, he’s sitting at his desk when the blonde saunters back in. She hands him $120 and says “I get my car back, right?”

“Yep, he says as he hands her the keys. She turns to go but he stops her. “Miss, I really have to ask, why did you use a $140,000 car as collateral on a $100 loan?”

“Oh!” The blonde says. “I got called out of town unexpectedly on business. How else can I park a Ferrari for a month in Manhattan for only $20?”

the irony of this year's met gala theme being based on a short story about cloistered, decadently-dressed aristocracy desperately pillaging the natural resources at their disposal to hold the advancing tide of the restless underclass at bay is honestly baffling

quite literally

https://x.com/probablyreadit/status/1787608198641234138?s=46&t=kNkxEGlbDjt69LgNEB9ZBw

The university currently violently suppressing students protesting genocide with cops is awarding the rag responsible for running cover ups and justification for the genocide those students are protesting with the "highest award in journalism".

for the sake of the hypothetical let’s say it’s nothing super off-color/nothing that would make you uncomfortable OTHER than being nsfw furry art