So Google failed me in providing a handcuffed sub, I could only find pictures of handcuffed burgers for some unknown reason. This was of course a travesty of missed pun-opportunity, so I had to rectify it.

Also this can be reposted to other sites, I don’t care, it’s just a joke, didn’t put a signature on it for a reason.

i saw a man at work the other day wearing a shirt that said "i was normal 2 pomeranians ago" with pictures of his pomeranians on it. important to note he had his pomeranians in his cart

artists rendition (i forgot to add the poms on his shirt but you get the gist)

Every time someone makes an artist's rendition of a weird little guy they saw in public instead of recording them without consent, an angel gets it's wings.

My former U.S. Track and Field teammate Tori Bowie, who was found dead in her home in Florida on May 2, of complications related to childbirth at 8 months pregnant, was a beautiful runner. She was effortless. At the Rio Olympics, I ran the second leg of the 4 x 100 relay. Tori was the anchor. When she got the baton, I remember thinking, “it’s over.” She just accelerated. When she crossed the finish line, I couldn’t wait to run over to her to celebrate. It was her first, and only, Olympic gold medal.

She also picked up a silver (in the 100-m) and bronze (200-m) in Brazil. The next year, at the 2017 World Championships in London, Tori won the 100-m title, earning the title of “world’s fastest woman.” Tori started out as a long jumper. So seeing her thrive as a sprinter was a huge deal. She was just such a bright light, and people were getting to see that.

Tori grew up in Mississippi and had this huge Southern accent. She didn’t take herself too seriously. You felt this sense of ease when you were around her. I last saw her in early 2021, in San Diego, where she was training. She gave me the biggest hug; something about her spirit was just very, very sweet. I felt her sweetness come over me that day.

Tori was 32 when she died. According to the autopsy, possible complications contributing to Bowie’s death included respiratory distress and eclampsia—seizures brought on by preeclampsia, a high blood pressure disorder that can occur during pregnancy. I developed preeclampsia during my pregnancy with my daughter Camryn, who was born in November 2018. The doctors sent me to the hospital, where I would deliver Camryn during an emergency C-section, at 32 weeks. I was unsure if I was going to make it. If I was ever going to hold my precious daughter.

Like so many Black women, I was unaware of the risks I faced while pregnant. According to the CDC, in 2021 the maternal mortality rate for Black women was 2.6 times the rate for white women. About five days before I gave birth to Camryn, I was having Thanksgiving dinner with my family. I mentioned that my feet were swollen. As we went around the table, the women shared their experiences during pregnancy. My cousin said she also had swollen feet. My mom didn’t. Not once did someone say, ‘oh, well, that’s one of the indicators of preeclampsia.’ None of us knew. When I became pregnant, my doctor didn’t sit me down and tell me, ‘these are things that you should look for in your pregnancy, because you are at a greater risk to experience these complications.’

That needs to change, now, especially in light of Tori’s tragic passing. Awareness is huge. Serena Williams had near-death complications during her pregnancy. Beyoncé developed preeclampsia. I hate that it takes Tori’s situation to put this back on the map and to get people to pay attention to it. But oftentimes, we need that wake-up call.

The medical community must do its part. There are so many stories of women dying who haven’t been heard. Doctors really need to hear the pain of Black women.

Luckily, there’s hope on several fronts. Congress has introduced the Momnibus Act, a package of 13 bills crafted to eliminate racial disparities in maternal health and improve outcomes across the board. California passed Momnibus legislation back in 2021. These laws make critical investments in areas like housing, nutrition, and transportation for underserved communities. Further, several pharmaceutical companies are making advances on early detection and treatment of preeclampsia.

Three gold medalists from that 4 x 100 relay team in Rio set out to become mothers. All three of us—all Black women—had serious complications. Tianna Madison has shared that she went into labor at 26 weeks and entered the hospital “with my medical advance directive AND my will.” Tori passed away. We’re dealing with a Black Maternal Health crisis. Here you have three Olympic champions, and we’re still at risk.

I would love to have another child. That’s something that I know for sure. But will I be here to raise that child? That’s a very real concern. And that’s a terrifying thing. This is America, in 2023, and Black women are dying while giving birth. It’s absurd.

I’m hopeful that things can get better. I’m hopeful that Tori, who stood on the podium at Rio, gold around her neck and sweetness in her soul, won’t die in vain.

—as told to Sean Gregory

Danny has a podcast

Imagine Danny, after years of being ridiculed by mass media, decides to go on a podcast so his side of the story can be heard.

Problem is he can’t find a podcast to go on. A lot of them are to afraid of Phantoms enemies or just not interested. So in classic Danny fashion he decides to fix the problem himself so records and releases a 1 hour tell all interview on being a teenage hero. With Danny as the host and Phantom as the guest with some help from Tucker for the editing to make it all seem like one seamless conversation between two people.

All posted on a YouTube channel they made called “Beneath the Cape”

He thought it would be a one time thing. That maybe down the road he might do another interview with his dead self to talk about other things but he really didn’t expect more than that.

He definitely did not expect to get emails from other heroes asking if they can come on the podcast as a guest.

Because apparently being frustrated by the media giving you a bad wrap is a universal experience in the hero world and after a thorough background check they trusted him to portray them in a more accurate light.

He never could have imagined it get this big but now look at him. Having a shared ranting session with Red Hood about weird billionaires trying to be their fathers.

Imagine if instead Danny learns how to clone/ uses a device to separate his halves without doing damage. That way, he could do a series of episodes/ interviews with Phantom, and anyone analysing the video feed would see that the second person hasn't been shopped in. This helps to legitimise his secret identity and has the added bonus of discrediting Wes's retaliation podcast (he spends the entire time showing his 'evidence' of why they're the same person. Unfortunately for him, he doesn't have any actual proof to offer besides bad vibes).

Initially, the podcast only gained traction amongst the youth of Amity Park, but one of the students sent a link to her cousin, who was an intern at The Daily Planet. The cousin gets hooked on the show, having been from Amity initially and being familiar with their local hero. They're in the lunch area at work watching it with headphones during their break when one of the senior journalists sits at their table. It's crowded at this point in time and not unusual for spare spaces to be taken by others when you sit by yourself, so they think nothing of it, until they get a tap on their shoulder.

They're annoyed, thinking this big shot is going to try and kick them off the table, but the guy is actually really interested in what they're watching. It's that Jimmy guy who always gets the best shots of Superman (they personally think the two men are secretly dating). Jimmy is interested in what TV show she's watching, thinking it's one his friend's kids will enjoy, and is surprised to find out that it's a podcaster interviewing an actual here from her home town. They send him the link and think nothing more if it, more interested in finding out whether there's going to be long-lasting effects from their hometown being pulled into a different dimension.

Jimmy, on the other hand, goes on a massive research binge, watching every single episode and checking it against local news reports. This guy is doing some seriously good PR work for his local hero, and the podcast is surprisingly good quality considering it's being made by high schoolars. He loads a report he wrote quickly onto a USB stick before heading to the roof and pressing the button on his watch.

Superman, as always, arrives quickly. He seems confused as to why Jimmy pressed the panic button, considering he's seemingly fine (Clark knows he's been sitting at his desk researching all day, and assumes he's stumbled upon some great conspiracy that Superman needs to take down).

Jimmy quickly apologises if he pulled Superman away from something time sensitive, but he found something that he thinks the Justice League might be interested in. They've only been amd for a couple of years, and despite having the backing of several well-known philanthropic billionaires like Queen and Wayne, they still don't have the best reputation. Especially the less well- known heroes and the side kicks. He thinks this guy has a great idea, and they should do something similar maybe.

Clark assured the man that they'll look into it but passes it on to Batman without looking at it too deeply. Bruce is very particular with how they handle their public image, knowing that their actions could potentially affect every enhanced individual on the planet.

Bruce is intrigued and does a deeper dive into this Daniel Fenton kid. Despite what seems to be a chronic phobia of ghosts (he almost always runs away at the first sign of them) and having scientist parents that believe all ghosts are evil, Daniel has decided to approach their local ghost hero and help him tell his side of the story. From the few videos he has found, the boy is skilled at combat when needed and fast at running on his feet.

He decides to pass it on to Tim and the Young Justice to approach the boy about interviewing other heroes/vigilantes. There have been a large number of concerning things showing up in his initial search about the hero Phantom, including a mole on the Watchtower. Agent Jay has been blocking all communication from the state and sending back concerning responses. It also seems that he needs to look into Amanda Waller again. This GIW branch she's started is beyond dodgy and illegal under the Meta Protection Acts.

Young Justice starts their own podcast purely to get Danny's attention, as they realise that they don't have the necessary equipment to visit him without risking overshadowing. Danny agrees to meet with them in Elmerton with spector-deflectors for them to wear, and they have an initial meet and greet. He immediately fanboys over the alien members of the team but gets himself back under control fairly quickly.

He agrees to do videos for some members of the team in exchange for Superboy doing him a favour. The team is on edge, unsure what he'll ask the half-kryptonian for, but Danny explains that a villain recently made a clone of himself, Phantom and themself, and he'd appreciate any advice for how to help her form her own identity outside of her programmed memories and instincts.

Kon agrees to help, and they plan a meet-up between himself and the new clone in Happy Harbour, as she plans to flee the area as soon as Danny has her ID and travel needs sorted. Nightwing is concerned about the legalities of creating her identity, but Danny just shrugs and mentions offhand that the Ghost of technology owed him a favour, so it's all sorted.

Anyway I'll never forget that 22 hour bus ride to Alabama to help my friend get married and one of the legs of the journey I was on the bus with my (clearly labelled, well behaved) service dog at my side and people were throwing a huge stink about the fact that I had my dog and then this ancient dude in a wheelchair, double amputee both legs, pipes up and tells them to shut the fuck up and leave me alone because Creed was obviously trained and then once everyone quieted down and I was able to take a seat, asked me quietly if I was okay.

He also could have been a cartoon character because I could have sworn there were little winged hearts floating above his head as he told me he'd always liked dogs but of course now he's old and can't walk so he can't get one anymore but he could tell how much Creed loved me and I him etc etc

He never asked me once what my disability was. He spoke up for me when he didn't have to. A truly old white man in Georgia saw a young black person with a "dangerous dog" breed and spoke up in my defense.

If you want to claim to be a disability advocate, that means you kind of have to. Advocate for each other. For the next 4 or so hours, this man and I had each other's backs. Two disabled people on a Greyhound filled with ableist passengers who were not happy we couldn't exist somewhere they didn't havr to accomodate. It didn't matter what our pasts or our diagnoses were. We were stronger together, so that's what we stayed. Together.

Two people banded together and the rest of the bus shut their mouths. Imagine what we could do with more of us.

This reminds me of that time I was on the bus (an hour-long bus trip at 5 o'clock where everyone was coming from the city back to town, tired and overworked) and the bus arrived at a bus stop where there was a young adult woman in a wheelchair. She also seemed to have other disabilities regarding sight.

The buses in Madrid are old now and it takes like 8 whole minutes to set up the ramp, then 5 more to pull in the ramp. A few people sighed as the process began.

Then the ramp got stuck.

Fifteen minutes waiting, and I'm near the back door watching this poor disabled girl become more and more stressed and panicky as the ramp just would not come out. People were groaning, checking their clocks, looking angry.

And then, in plain view of everyone in the bus, she began to shake her head at the tired driver and went, "No, no! I'll take the next!"

Y'know. The next bus. At prime hour 6 o'clock. Which would probably be full already.

So this guy in a full suit and this other guy who looked like a cartoon of a high school pothead came out of the bus and went, "Is it okay if we pick you up? If it is - tell us how to do it, we don't want to break your wheelchair or cause you ANY harm."

I quickly stood along with this old lady and we made sure she had space for her big wheelchair (it was a fancy one! Big and bulky, so we had to move some bags and people actually decided to stand so the bags wouldn't be on the lil hallway).

The girl was saying it was okay at first but when the guys insisted, she directed the two men on how to grab it and actually asked for two more people in case. I came down and this other young guy came, too. It wasn't a big gap but you can never know.

Anyway, we were able to get her inside the bus and since I was close to the door, she and I and the older woman had a bit of a chat on the way. She was very nice and a little overwhelmed because she said people in this city don't usually help her out.

When her stop arrived, different people immediately moved to help her, checking that everything was okay. One of them even gave her his phone number in case anything on her chair broke or was strained, said he was well-paid enough to lose a couple hundreds to help.

THAT is what I feel needs to happen.

And also Madrid fix you FUCKING busses.

Danny decides to open a planetarium in Gotham. At first people only go there because it's one of the only neutral zones left (they're still trying to figure out how this human twig does it.) Then weird things start happening.

People start report seeing things during the shows. Little messages mixed with the stars. Some of the messages are simple like i'll always love you or it wasn't your fault or i miss you. But others are eerily accurate. Like don't forget to study for your upcoming physics test or you should move into those newer apartments. It'll be good for you.

Put simply Danny is doing something related to what he loves while also giving the departed of Gotham a way to say their last wishes to their loved ones. They in turn help him keep the planetarium safe. Not that he needs help but eh it's a nice win win scenario so he won't complain.

Too bad the bats don't see it that way. No clearly this guy is using some sort of mental manipulation hoodoo voodoo for some dastardly scheme. And they're going to get to the bottom of it.

The Justice League rescues a boy from a strange, off the grid base that apparently focuses on ghosts. That clearly needs more investigating. As for the boy, He's eyes are always clouded over and he barely responds to anyone. It's like he's not even there. What did those people do to him? At least he seems attached to the bats for some reason. Best to leave him in their care.

Danny had been nearly depleted of all his ectoplasm. Because of that his body went into extreme preservation mode and shut down anything deemed as "non vital" in order to conserve as much as he could. Luckily he came into contact of some people who had ambient ectoplasm stuck to them. It got even better when they took him to the place where the ambient ectoplasm was coming from. It would still take him some time to heal though. Until suddenly a direct source comes into the house one day.

Dick was in charge of watching the boy that day when suddenly he jumps up and sprints down the hall. By the time Dick catches up to him, he already has his arms elbow deep in Jason's chest.

Steve Harrington hadn’t talked to his dad in a year.

The last thing the two of them had talked had been after the earthquakes, across the room in the den; his dad barely stepped through the front entryway, and Steve’s back pressed against the back door. The house was messy but still standing, unlike Steve, who was broken and barely keeping himself upright. The only thing Richard Harrington had said to Steve was,

“I think it’s time to move on.” Which was his way of telling Steve they were selling the house and he should figure out his own arrangements. Steve hadn’t cared, though. Didn’t even look at him as he spoke. Instead, he stared at the cracks in the ceiling and wondered if it was some kind of metaphor.

He tried not to think too deeply about it.

It had been a year since then. There had been time to move on, as his dad said. There was no more Upside Down. There was no more worrying about the next move. Max and Eddie were healed. Everyone was back in Hawkins. Robin and Steve lived in a little house on Fifth while Robin took community courses. Eddie practically lived there, too, with the strange friendship bond that had grown between the three of them.

Eddie had argued once it was because their couch was comfier than his bed, but Steve liked to think it was because Eddie wanted to be close to them. To be close to him. Sometimes Steve thought about letting him stay in his bed together.

Time had not moved to that yet.

Everything seemed good. Despite Steve’s resentment towards Richard, and his reluctance to admit the man was right, sometimes it was good to let things go, break apart and move on. Though Steve was sure, this wasn’t exactly what Harrington Sr. meant.

Steve hadn’t talked to his father in over a year. And he didn’t really miss him. Sure, there were moments that passed when Steve would yearn for the small happy moments between them. Secret smiles at baseball games, lunch at his office, and him cheering Steve on at the one swim championship he managed to show up to.

But it always got mixed in with bigger, badder moments. Being left alone for months on end. The belittling. The missed graduation. The yelling. The slurs when he grew his hair out too long. The cold way he said to Steve,

“I think it’s time to move on.”

Like he had been breaking up with a high school sweetheart before leaving for college.

So Steve didn’t miss the man, not really. But in moments like these, in the back of the Byers-Hopper’s backyard at the Father’s Day BBQ, where all party members and parents alike gathered, Steve couldn’t help but ache.

Steve ached for something better than Richard Harrington.

It wasn’t because of parents who stuck around that made Steve’s stomach churn in jealousy, but the ones who decided to show up. It was the way Wayne threw his arm around Eddie’s shoulder and the cheers their beers to something probably ridiculous. The way Steve knew that man would crawl to the ends of the earth for someone who wasn’t technically his, but was nothing short of a son.

It was the way El and Hop manned the grill together. Him laughing at something El said, probably something ridiculous, and her smile back that could light up the sun. The way Steve knew that El wasn’t a replacement for the things Hop had lost, but instead an addition to his life he would choose over and over again.

Steve ached to be loved and care for because someone wanted to. Not because of obligation or by accident. Steve wanted to loved deliberately.

Steve sipped his beer instead of bringing down the celebration with his thoughts. Eddie caught Steve’s eye across the yard and gave him a megawatt smile. Steve couldn’t help but smile shyly back.

“Hey, Steve.” A shy voice said beside him, startling him out of his thoughts. Steve turned to find Dustin standing beside him, nearly up to his nose now with his recent growth spurt. Steve couldn’t help but miss when he was small and could throw him over his shoulder.

Steve was a little surprised to find him there. Dustin wasn’t one to speak small or shy. He liked to make his presence known (much like the lovable metal head he was staring down earlier).

“Hey bud, what’s up?”

Dustin looked around the two of them before answering. Everyone else was with their dads, or talking to one of the party members. Even Robin managed to wrangle her dad and Mr. Sinclair into a conversation about WWII. Dustin looked a little relieved everyone was doing their own thing.

“Okay so you know how like, everyone is celebrating their dad today? And mine isn’t here?”

Steve felt his stomach drop. Somehow in the midst of his self-pitying, he had forgotten that Dustin’s dad wasn’t around either. Didn’t even stick around long enough for his first words. “Yea, dude, I’m sorry this must suck for you.”

Dustin looked nervous. He shifted on his feet back and forth, as if he was trying to find a rhythm to calm himself down. “Yea, so that’s what I actually came over to talk to you about.”

“Yea, Dustin. Im here if you need to talk.”

Dustin seemed to finally be at ease and rolled his eyes at Steve. “No, asshole, I don’t need to talk. I haven’t thought about the dick in years, if I’m honest. I just, it’s something else. And you don’t get to be weird about it.”

“I’m confused.”

“That sounds about right.”

“Hey!” Steve laughed despite his protest. A year ago, stuff like that hurt Steve’s feelings. But now Steve knew it was all in good fun, that Dustin was kind of dick to everyone. And he knew that the joke wasn’t about his intelligence. It hadn’t been a long time, since Steve threatened to push him out of a moving vehicle last time. Steve was pretty sure it had to do with a particular conversation involving his feelings for more than women.

Only Dustin and Robin knew. She was overly supportive, and Dustin instantly made a joke. Both made Steve supported and safe.

The dumbasses.

“Not my fault this happens to you often.”

“Is there a point being made or are you here to just be a dick?” Steve questioned, laughing behind the lip of his beer.

Dustin fidgeted again before pulling something out his back pocket. “Just—promise not to laugh.”

Steve crossed his heart with a giggle before he took a folded white piece of paper out of Dustin’s hands.

Suddenly, Steve’s face got serious as he saw what was on the front.

A poorly drawn Steve with a nail baseball bat, with the title “Happy Father’s Day”.

Steve swallowed thickly before placing his beer on the ground and opening the card. There in Dustin’s chicken scratch, was a message.

Dear Steve,

Don’t be weird about this. Okay here it goes.

My dad wasn’t around a lot, big whoop. Big surprise. I honestly don’t care anymore. Don’t give me a look.

I honestly didn’t think I would really care about any of the dad stuff, didn’t feel like I was really missing out. My mom and her annoying love for cats has always been more than enough. But as time went by sometimes I thought maybe I would be better, I would be different if I had a dad. I see it with the rest of the party, how willingly or unwillingly they all reflect their dads. And how I don’t.

Sometimes I don’t feel like my whole self because if it. Thought maybe I would never really be a whole me because of it. That maybe the world was better off anyway because I know I am a lot.

But then I met you asshole.

I didn’t think I would like you, and more importantly I didn’t think you would like me. But suddenly we are battling worlds together, and you’re hanging out with me even outside the end of days, and I have a new best friend.

If I’m being honest I do see you more as a brother. Someone I look up to. But the more I think about it (again don’t be weird), I do see you as a dad some days. Although the hands on hips do scream mother hen, you’ve been a dad to me in the ways the asswipe who made someone as amazing as me hasn’t been.

You are brave, and funny and despite popular belief you are kind. One of the kindest people I know. You make me feel safe and loved, and give me rides despite me never giving you gas money. Some days I look in the mirror and see parts of you in me, and I feel proud.

Some days I look at you and hope that I can see the braveness and kindness in myself too. I don’t yet, but you make it feel possible.

I don’t need a sperm donor (thank you Robin for that one), I have the world’s okayest dad right here.

Love you brother, friend, dad.

Happy Father’s Day, from your fellow nerd,

Dustin <3

Steve was crying. He knew that. He knew he promised not to make it weird, but Steve couldn’t help it. The little shit got him right in the heart.

He couldn’t be blamed for scooping up Dustin in a hug. “I love you too, Dusty Buns.”

Dustin squeezed Steve tight, “You don’t get to call me that.” He grumbled, but Steve could feel his tshirt getting wet.

“As your father it is my right to get to call you embarrassing nick names.” Steve squeezed Dustin even tighter.

Dustin just laughed and pushed him away jokingly. They both wiped their eyes, but the smiles on their faces remained.

Steve thought about Richard at that moment again, about how he ached for someone to care. And maybe Steve would never get it, but he could be that someone for someone else. He could give that care, Dustin.

The little shit.

“Thank you Dustin.”

Dustin shook his head, his crooked smile remained. “Nah man, thank you.”

They both just stared at each other in comfortable silence before they were interrupted by a barking force.

“What are you two saps talking about?” Eddie slung his arms around the both of them, mouth spread wide in a grin. But then he noticed the tear tracks, and suddenly his face dropped.

Eddie took Steve’s face in his hands, “What’s wrong? What happened?”

Steve shook his head fondly, “Nothing—“ He started, preparing to wave it off. But then Steve realized he couldn’t lie to Eddie. “—nothing bad. Happy tears. I promise.”

Eddie looked at Steve for a moment before nodding, giving his face a tight squeeze, and then dropping his hands. “Okay, Stevie, as long as their happy tears.”

“What am I? Chopped liver?” Dusting grumbled.

“Aweee Dusty, I could never forget you!!” Eddie threw himself at Dustin in a horrible attempt at a hug.

Dustin just pushed him off before rolling his eyes. Steve swore they were gonna get stuck one day.

“Whatever, man. Just make sure that you treat my dad right, or I’m going to have to make some tough calls.” Dustin stared down Eddie seriously before laughing evilly and walking away.

Steve wanted to freeze at Dustin’s implication, but Eddie looked adorably confused, so Steve didn’t feel too bad.

“What’s that supposed to mean? Is this new? Him just getting protective about this without explaining?” Eddie asked Steve.

“Don’t worry about it.” Steve looked down at the card again wistfully, before glancing back up at Eddie. Steve took one of Eddie’s hands and started to play with his rings. A blush bloomed across Eddie’s cheeks; Steve wanted to kiss him. Instead, he just said,

“Just think he’s trying to be a little like his dad.”

Dad’s are complicated, and family isn’t always blood. I hope you enjoyed my little Father’s Day contribution. I do headcannon Hopper as Steve’s father figure/replacement, and usually write it that way but this seemed like a fun opportunity to show how Steve is his own father figure for others.

He is a good egg.

Now with Father’s Day over, my birthday is in two weeks which is making me feel all sorts of things. So I’m distracting myself with steddie. Either way expect a lot of writing and updates soon.

Clockwork clutched the bundle close to his chest as he approached the two entities.

"I am glad you could meet with me on such short notice," he greeted.

The first of the two figures looked up. She was a tall and boney woman, with ash grey skin. She wore a long black mourning dress and a veil that obscured most of her features.

"Think nothing of it old friend," came a low gravely voice. "Why have you called?"

It was then that the ancient of time revealed what was in his arms. Gently unfolding the blanket, he exposed the face of a sleeping baby.

"Something has happened to the King of the Infinite Realms," he said. "As you can see he has now become a baby. As such it is no longer safe for him here."

"He's so cute!" the second being beamed. "I just want to squish his tiny widdle cheeks!" He was practically a being of pure light but right now, he had dimmed himself to a man with blonde hair. Very reminiscent of one of his chargers.

His outburst garnered a little slap on the back of his head from his companion. "Hush," she hissed. "The child is sleeping."

"Thank you, Lady Gotham," Clockwork said.

"Of course, you may continue."

"I have called you here because I need a favor. He cannot stay here and I was hoping I could place him in your care," The ancient of time explained.

Lady Gotham stepped forward, reaching for the baby, "Of course. It would be-"

Clockwork pulled baby Daniel out of reach. "Allow me to finish. I wish for you to raise him together."

It wasn't often that the guardian of Gotham was thrown off guard but this time, she audibly gasped. "You want me to raise the child with him?" she questioned, pointing to her companion.

"Indeed. I mean no offense but the Speed Force will provide a sense of humor and freedom you will not be able to. I have seen how tortured your own charges can become." Clockwork replied.

Lady Gotham growled but the Speed Force just went back to cooing. "Awwww I get to help raise this lil guy," he gushed. "Ohhhh I'm so excited! I'll teach him lots of fun games and we can binge watch so many shows together. And and and, I'll let him try all my favorite foods. Maybe I'll even introduce him to my speedsters. I bet it will be loads of fun!"

This earned him another slap. "You fool, what part of the child is sleeping do you not understand? Besides, the child will need more stimulation than television and he cannot eat all that junk you call food."

Clockwork turned back to Lady Gotham. "This is why I am leaving him in the care of the both of you. Each of you provides something the other can not. Can I count on you?"

Lady Gotham stepped forward once again and this time Clockwork allowed her to take the baby. "Fear not, Kronos. I will make sure this dolt does not endanger the child. He will be safe in our hands."

"Yep!" the Speed Force added. "We'll give him the happiest childhood on Earth!"

Clockwork sighed. He knew this was the optimal timeline yet still he doubted. He leaned in close to baby Daniel. "Take care little one," he whispered. "The Realms shall eagerly await your return." Then, in an uncharacteristic move, he planted a quick kiss on the baby's head. Daniel giggled softly in his sleep but didn't wake.

Clockwork straightened looked at the two before him. "Go now, quickly. And take care."

Both nodded firmly before turning and disappearing into the portal from whence they came.

A true story of vehicular queer solidarity. Happy Pride.

Update to the craft fluff spinning saga:

I finished the first package of Gritty Orange and have joined another into the spin, this time in Fuck You Fuschia.

I am now very comfortable spinning this abomination, and will probably be going to hell for it. I'm still angry that it's working as well as it is.

okay fuck those headcanons of steve needing glasses and him just immediately being so discouraged and saying that he doesn’t wear them a lot. new headcanon where steve needs glasses and it takes a sec to process cuz he thought he had good eyesight and is genuinely surprised but then the options of choosing frames comes along! he takes one look in the mirror and goes ‘holy shit i’m so hot - these look amazing on me’ which then he takes a long ass time figuring out the frames cuz he looks so hot in all of them and he can’t choose! dustin and robin are helping too and they take it so seriously too like ‘steve okay i know you like that one but i think you look hotter in this one’ legit everyone in the doctor’s office gets pissed at them

I think he wears them driving or to watch movies but not much else because he simple doesn't feel like it. Not from vanity or embarrassment just plain and simple teenage boy "eh. They're kinda annoying." And choosing not to.

But he absolutely would find the frames he looks best in, even if he doesn't wear them all the time. And his prescription sunnies are his pride and joy. Game changer for lifeguarding.

DpXDc Prompt

A religious group rises up in Gotham citing that anyone who joins will be given powers and strength unlike any other. One of the bats is sent to infiltrate this new group to find out how all these people are suddenly getting meta powers. There they find Danny who is being held prisoner by the cult and is being drained of his ectoplasm to turn the members of the cult liminal. Now it's a race against the clock to save the teenager from the cult without being destroyed by a giant group of liminal religious zealots who are convinced that they captured a god.

On making things.

A couple days ago i made this post (tldr: Lady Gotham is married to a unknowing Batman and considers his children their children. She gives Jason the title of prince) and today this image popped into my head

Gotham, introducing her kids (who lit didnt know they were her kids until 2 minutes ago) to King Phantom and when she gets to Jason she nudges him forward and starts wingmaning him

“Give me pets”

Thinking about how people are upset that Iron Widow “isn’t a feminist book because the main character, Wu Zetian, is angry, murderous, and violent.” First, I don’t think it was marketed as feminist, just the sci-fi retelling of China’s only female emperor’s rise to power (guess people see this and think “FEMINIST”); and second, why can’t it be feminist? Feminism doesn’t mean all women are good, perfect angels. Why can’t Zetian be a ruthless, powerful bitch? (I say this lovingly.) Why does she have to be good and follow the rules? She’s the protagonist, sure, but does that mean she has to be a good person? Not at all. I think Xiran Jay Zhao does a great job letting the reader feel Zetian’s rage, and it’s a great story because of that rage. Just let Zetian be a vengeful girl, all right?

Steve stopped caring about Father’s Day a long time ago. That’s what happens when your dad is an asshole and gone 95% of the time. You kinda just stop trying and caring.

Whenever the holiday comes around, it just reminds him of how everyone in his life has a loving father figure except for him and he turns bitter.

This year is no different. Robin is following him around Family Video telling him her family’s plans for the holiday weekend, asking him what she should get her dad.

“Uh… socks? I don’t know.”

Robin laughs. “Steve that’s like the most generic dad gift ever.”

“Sorry, I’m not good at the dad stuff Robbie.”

“Shit. You know I didn’t mean it like that Dingus.”

He turns and smiles. “I know. There’s no offense taken either and I’m sure whatever you decide to get him he’ll love.”

“You know you could probably come over and celebrate with us.”

Steve shrugs. “It’s your family’s day, I don’t wanna intrude.”

Robin smiles. “Well if you change your mind, my parents adore you.”