The ability to turn the post above you into the speech bubble of a character of your choice is an essential weapon of tumblr pvp.
my brother is supposed to be packing for a trip tomorrow. i went into his room and he has the wikipedia page for suitcase open
My absolute hottest take is that, from a culturally relative perspective, no food is bad. None of it. It's an expression of culture, art, history, ecology, material conditions, subjective taste. It's all inedible pap to somebody and the taste of childhood for someone else. Americans be eating cheesed burger. Pea wet is as good as gravy in Wigan. The French eat snails and the Inuit eat seal, the Germans eat sauerkraut and the Russians drink kvass, the Inca ate cavy and the Romans ate flamingo. People around the world have been eagerly awaiting their serving of simple bread or thin porridge or fermented milk product or pickled whatever-the-fuck since we learned to cook food over fire. We all love the slop we grew up eating. Food is a reflection of millennia of culture and loving human artistic expression. Attempting to extrapolate largely harmless online food banter into actual serious comparative rankings or half-baked critical analyses of cultures based on how much you subjectively don't like what they eat is a miserable way to live. Live a little. Peace and love on the only planet with food.
This is a post of critical support for bland English cuisine and unhinged Brazilian pizzas and everything else I don't understand. Turning food, something literally every person on earth enjoys, into a moral or cultural judgement is, well, if it's not full-blown reactionary and parochial... then it's at least kind of nasty, huh?
i gotta tell ya. English cuisine? And I'm talking proper pre-1900 pre-1800 English cuisine, your average Tudor peasant cuisine, a good old suet pudding cuisine?
It makes perfect sense in the depths of an unheated British winter.
Picture the scene: it's last winter, and it's freezing. My semi-detached home can only take so much, and fuel prices are so high that on weekdays when my parents are not home, my brother and I scarcely, if ever, turn the heating on.
I'm wearing two pairs of leggings; I'm wearing three pairs of socks; I have a t-shirt, then a jumper, then a hoodie and then a blanket on, and I'm still making myself a hot water bottle, because I'm miserably cold. It's not as bad as my father's 'when I grew up ice would form inside the window' schtick, but that doesn't make it good. It is miserable, and the best time of day is night, when I panini-press myself into the bed under the weight of many blankets. Everything else is a holding period in between.
I'm making a vegetable stew one night. Luckily for me leeks can freeze straight through and come out fine when growing, and beans are ten a penny, so I've crammed this thing with the depths of the fridge-freezer's contents. And as I lift the lid on my wonder, as I scavenge the depths of cuisine for something that will keep us warm, I gaze upon my creation, and I realise that God came to the British Isles in the form of a suet dumpling.
this lump of flour and fat. this doughy concoction; no filling, just bread dough, only barely, for they're merely rolled into a ball and placed on the top of a stew to steam through before serving. This wonder of cuisine. Does it count as a dumpling to others? Who cares? As I ate my dumplings that night, admist my vegetable stew, and felt them sticking to my ribs and insulating them thusly, I realised how well-adapted our plain, bland foodstuffs are to living on a small wet rock.
Many have questioned the wisdom of the aspects of British cuisine, but should you ever find yourself in need in British winter, then heed my wisdom, and follow God's plan to see the British people visually reflected in their warming, nourishing foodstuffs; choose the dumpling.
donwhitetigertales
completelysane
No a sheep hoarding dragon
I just noticed the sheep nibbling its tail and that feels IMMENSELY FITTING
‼️The dragon’s paw is on sheep’s butt‼️
tragic and heartbreaking, guy who wants to have conversations can't think of conversation topics
Obscure Tolkien Blorbo: Round 1
Tom Bombadil vs Beregond
Tom Bombadil:
A fun guy who lives in the woods with his wife Goldberry.
- He's goofy, weird, sings funny songs, is the best husband ever, and is also one of the most powerful beings in Middle Earth (though perhaps not in all of Arda). I also saw a really cool theory that he was the incarnation of Eru's Music in its uncorupted form. I think it explains a lot!
Beregond:
A Man of Gondor and one of the Guards of the Citadel, who abandoned his post to save Faramir’s life.
- loyal, friendly, good dad
Too Online For Regular Friendships IRL, But Not Online Enough For Discord Friend Groups
imagine if you like bought a house and the realtor that sold you the house came by and did maintenance every couple months and it was a pretty good arrangement until one day they stopped doing maintenance and things started breaking them and you called them up and they were like 'surprise! we've decided what this house is really missing is a pool so we're going to build a whole new house for you that has a pool we are so excited about this pool' and you were like 'is this a deflection from your sexual harassment lawsuit you're involved in' and they were like 'the pool is going to be so cool!' and hung up and you didn't hear from them for years and then they called you up again and were like 'good news! we've built the new house, why don't you move in' and you were like 'oh, the one with the pool?' and they were like 'wellll yeah but we haven't actually installed the pool yet but when we do it's going to totally transform how you live in your house so you can see the value' and you were like 'i don't know i think i'll stay in this one' and they were like 'hmm yeah sorry actually you can't we're blowing the old house up with dynamite' and you were like 'what? why?' and they were like 'so that you're not split between your old house and the new one' and you were like 'um, fine' and you drove over to the new house and there was no pool or space for a pool and the realtor showed up to gave you the keys and you were like 'this house looks identical to the old one, i don't really understand why you did this' and they were like 'aha! you see, the old house had six rooms, this one has five!' and you were like 'that sounds worse, though' and they were like 'no you see with only five rooms it will be much easier to do maintenance on the house' and you were like 'but you haven't done that for months' and they were like 'yeah that was the old house which we've just blown up with explosives this is the new house' and you were like 'so how's that sexual harassment lawsuit going' and they leaped acrobnatically into their car like a trapeze artist and zoomed away and you went into the house and saw a coin slot on the bathroom door and called them and you could hear the background noise of a courtroom and they said 'yeah so you have to pay five dollars every time you use the bathroom now, it's our new monetization plan' and you were like 'well this is bullshit i feel like this house is just straight up worse' and they were like 'noo listen the pool is going to be so cool it's going to be so good we promise there'll be a diving board and a tiki bar and those water jets that give young people sexual awakenings' and you were like 'well okay' and they were like 'we've been building this pool for four years trust us it's going to be good' and then you didn't hear from them for a long long time except occasionally when they showed up to do maintenance and if you asked about the pool they just winked meaningfully and asked if you wanted to pay a $15/month fee for a bathroom pass giving you unlimited flushes and toilet paper. and this went on for a year until one day you got a voicemail 'dear resident. we're not going to build the pool lol' and you called them back like 'well what the fuck did you demolish my old house for' and they were like 'we actually gave up on the whole pool like two years ago but we did a whole announcement and it would have felt sooo awkward to walk it back' and you were like 'what the fuck have i been paying five dollars to use the toilet for over these last two years!' and they were like 'listen buddy if you don't like it you can buy the bathroom pass' and then they hung up on you . anyway that's what happened with overwatch 2
Oh damn guys my brain is making thoughts
Hrrrrggghh (sound of me thinking)
Wizard Snap-back
Keep going
Hhhuuurrrrnnggggh
Two genders: fratboy wizard snapback, and trucker wizard snapback…..
(Also yes, the fratboy wizard in the top right is playing beer pong with a mini fireball)
hi sorry i blacked out as soon as i read wizard snapback and when I came to this was on my tablet (yes his wizard staff is a golf club)
BWAHAHEAHA OMG I LOVE IT
meltycure-deactivated20210804
we owe literally no one more on this planet than the woman behind fantasy name generator
meltycure
her name is emily and and she runs it all by herself
poetromantics
everyone say thanks emily!!!
THANK YOU EMILY!
i love you very much .com
you mean so much to me my friend .org
"Of course [The Lord of the Rings] does not belong to me. It has been brought forth and must go now its appointed way in the world, though naturally I take a deep interest in its fortunes, as a parent would of a child. I am comforted to know that it has good friends to defend it against the malice of its enemies."
- J. R. R. Tolkien in Letters from Tolkien
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
A Gathering Storm for Cairn is out
Hopefully it works this time because I managed to crash the editor. A Gathering Storm is an adventure for Cairn. It probably takes about 2 sessions unless your players really don't like talking to people. There is a village that will have to be abandoned if nobody figures out why it won't stop raining, because the rains are flooding everything. There's a strange and isolated monastery with a famous library which is being weirdly unhelpful to anyone who comes around asking questions. There's a forest which is also a god. Most of the adventure takes place in this forest.
This is my first time doing not just all of the writing and layout but also the art. It took way too long but I'm pretty proud of the results. There's no dungeon crawling, but it is very exploration focused. There are also hooks to start a larger campaign based on these locations, a bunch of new bestiary entries, and tables of 36 books, 24 names, and 10 types of merchants.
You can find the pdf on #itchio https://seedling.itch.io/a-gathering-storm-cairn
You can also get physical copies from the Cairn store: https://store.cairnrpg.com/products/a-gathering-storm
Third Kingdom Games: https://www.thirdkingdomgames.com/product-page/a-gathering-storm
And (soon) Ratti Incantati, in Canada (will update when they're available there): https://rattiincantati.com/