A great Scarleteen article on intimacy by Heather Corinna with a few cute example illustrations! More illustrations in the article :)
Do not tell an asexual that it’s not hard for them to come out.
It’s hard to come out as asexual, and if you are not asexual you have no say on whether it’s easy or not to do so. It’s difficult to do because:
•if ur an ace that doesn’t want kids, imagine the response from parents who are dying for grandkids.
•if ur ace and in a relationship with someone who isn’t, imagine the reaction of the significant other who has been waiting to have sex with you for awhile and finds out it is less likely to happen and is very disappointed.
•if ur ace and sex-repulsed, imagine the face of your future significant other when you tell them you are sex-repulsed and they are the complete opposite.
All negative reactions, right? Now here’s some examples of why it’s good to come out as an asexual, and why “asexuals don’t even have to come out” is an unthoughtful thing to say:
-if ur ace and have friends who always ask about your crush, imagine the look on their faces when you finally tell them why you don’t have crushes.
-if ur ace and about to get in a relationship, imagine how much better things would go if you told the person right away. if they end things before they start, then they ain’t worth being with and it’s easier to move on.
-if ur an ace who has to explain why you’d rather adopt a child then conceive one, imagine the clarity your family may feel once you tell them.
-if ur an ace who is repulsed by pornography and people ask why, either way if the response is negative or positive, the person will have a solid reason to leave you alone about it. if they don’t, then come to me and I’ll fight them myself.
To conclude, being asexual is not easy. People who are not asexual shouldn’t be telling asexuals how to live their lives, and shouldn’t tell them that their lives are so much easier. It’s not easy being the person being called “broken” or “inhuman” or being told “you wouldn’t understand” or “you just haven’t met the right person.” Every sexuality has its stereotypes and insults they have to deal with. Experiencing a lack of sexual attraction doesn’t change that.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. If you have any negative comments you want to make, instead of sending them my way I have a better suggestion. Write it down on a piece of paper, crumple it up, and recycle it. Now your thoughts are out into the world and not ruining someone else’s day. And your recycling. Good job, you!