My name is Brewster. I have thirty days to spend $30 million and have no assets left at the end. I'm looking to hire a fat and unappealing woman to write a comic book called "Annoying Millennial Female: AKA Synonyms". The book can make no money and must be immediately cancelled. I'm told this is your exact skill set. Do we have a deal?
Dear Brewster
I am sorry to inform you that I am completely booked up with high profile comic book work already thanks to my exclusive contract with a small company you may have heard of called Marvel Comics. I hope you can find someone more your speed. Excuse me for being so brief, but I have to run out to the bank and cash some checks and deposit some royalties from my successful dream job career that I built while you - and I’m just guessing here but it doesn’t feel like a big leap - sat on your ass complaining about the talent and hard work of others from behind the safety and anonymity of the internet. I wish you the best on that path - you’re great at it already!
Love,
Kelly
I am deceased
