when the tatort intro hits i feel no pain at all
OH, YES, YES THE BEES! YES THE BEES! AAAAAHHHHH! OH, THEY'RE IN MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAAHHHHH! AAAAAGGHHH!
swimming pool glimmering darling white bikini off with my red nail polish
- albert camus
Anonymous asked:
dont sneeze ever again OK?
EASY 👍
oh no.....
aaa... aaaaAAA......
AAAALL THE THINGS SHE SAID ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD!!!!!!!
there's this mutual in law who once claimed gay men were responsible for spreading a disease without a single source but all the more confidence. 'backing your arguments up with facts is cowardly' is an objectively funny thing for her to say
this might be the rain talking but i've come to realise that i've shrunk a lot in the last half year
artists releasing a song: this is about my little sister who died at birth and I never had the chance to meet and grow up with, yet I still love dearly
tumblr users reblogging the track from lovestereo:
July 27, 1914: Kafka struggles to eat a peach
Ate rice à la Trautmannsdorf and a peach. A man drinking wine watched my attempts to cut the unripe little peach with my knife. I couldn’t. Stricken with shame under the old man’s eyes, I let the peach go completely and ten times leafed through Die Fliegenden Blätter. I waited to see if he wouldn’t at last turn away. Finally I collected all my strength and in defiance of him bit into the completely juiceless and expensive peach.
its been 105 years since kafka ate this terrible peach
nihililithism
Oh my God my vandalism has escaped containment
Photograph by Henry Leutwyler
Carpenter, one of the original seven American astronauts, wore these gloves for the Mercury-Atlas 7 mission, which orbited Earth in 1962.
slasher horror: you better not have premarital sex or gerald "the stabber" douglas is gonna getcha
creepypasta: once there was a teen named alex and he was bullied so hard that he and the acid disfigured him so and he started killing everyone so they call him george the attacker
/x/: there was the skinwalker who stole my best friend's voice and then man door hand hook car door
r/nosleep: my wife was hungry for raw meat and then she gave birth to The Satan. he looked me in the eyes and said "don't go outside past midnight or else the eyeless ones might notice." but it turns out i never had a wife or son and the world ended 5 years ago on this very night.
r/twosentencehorror: i ran out of bloodmilk for my cereal. luckily, the creature provides.
mascot horror: this is silly wiggles, the candy giraffe! explore the silly wiggles candy emporium after dark! the secret ingredient is Love™! also the hidden video tapes will reveal that "Love™" is actually the copyright name for the consciousness of tortured children, mixed with the ground organs of factory workers.
indie horror: i can't describe this, there are only 7 pixels so idk what's going on
