Just an experiment. Reblog if you actually give a fuck about male victims of domestic violence and rape.

Of fucking course

What sick bastard doesn’t

“You’d be surprised”, said Xaldien, who just lost four followers and received a lovely “men can’t be raped” anon shortly after reblogging this the first time.

Yowch, disgusting.

If I don’t reblog this, assume I’m dead.

Always reblog this

If you Dont reblog this if u see it then i cant call u my friend

IF ANYONE TELLS ME THAT MEN CAN’T BE VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND RAPE, I AM SICKENED BY THEIR MERE PRESENCE ON MY BLOG.

If you disagree with me, unfollow my blog, block me and never look at my blog again.

If you want to debate about this or send anon’s about this, I will reply but your actions have consequences.

Out of 19000+ followers I have, only one of you actually reblogged about this issue, yet a lot of you have reblogged and liked a picture by playboy about catcalling and that how men should never do it.

Additionally, I have received abuse in my ask box (which I will be answering when I can) and threats. In particular death threats and rape threats.

I can see the real problem here already. Male domestic violence and rape is just invisible in our society because we don’t want to talk about this because it just damages the status quo of this fucking website.

I’m a male victim of child sexual abuse. We matter. Please, reblog this.

Please never forget male victims are real and it can happen to everyone/anyone

Make sure the romance is there on both sides people

Screw people who don’t believe in male rape.

Everyone can be raped and denying that because of your childish, pathetic hatred for men is quite frankly disgusting.

We should care about our mens just as much as our womens.

I can’t believe there are people who won’t reblog this…

of fucking course

Who wouldn’t reblog?

Holy shit… Look at all these deactivated users. It really says something, huh?

Look, if you were sexually abused, or harassed, or raped, you can take comfort in knowing, regardless of gender, that I will be here to help you however I can, even if it’s just to help you smile again with my dumb shitposts.

Women and men can be raped. They shouldn’t, but it happens, and when it does, we need to help each other out.

In Europe or Canada they would of just euthanized him

“People willingly donating to help people pay bills is bad the government should take 50% of your paycheck under the threat of violence instead!”

Fuck offfff

Didn't donate anything, didja, OP?

Lol he got like, five times what he needed through private funding cope seethe and mald socialists BTFO’ed

A single individual with a sense of community does more good than a million bureaucrats whose paycheck depends on how little they help

i hate this fucking website because every time this appears

my stupid shitfuck idiot brain immediately screams

Tumblr mobile really enhances the experience of this post

I tried pressing the reblog button on the picture

Today is the only day you can reblog this meme, everyone

Happy 22/2/22 day!

Not to mention that today, 22/2/22 Pluto has finished its trip around the sun which started in 1774.

here have 10 pieces of writing advice that have stuck with me over the years

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

not even risking that shit

scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button. 

Nope. I know better, have your reblog Madame Zeroni.

who the fuck is Madame Zeroni

Look at these stupid children who don’t know who Madame Zeroni is

Man lissen if you don’t know you better ask somebody AFTER you hit the reblog button

Idk who she is but I have an exam today so I’ll reblog her

idk who she is but i have an exam today so i’ll reblog her

^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!

Because wise, I am.

Oh fucks no she’s back lmao must reblog. I’m sorry guys

2 million people aren’t wrong

Got a stomach ache reading this. HAD to reblog. Love that movie too.

I don’t have my dog of protection, so Madam Zironi must get reblogged.

I’m half asleep but even I’m doing this ASAP.

Ain’t risking it

There should be way more pictures of modern zoos so i just add some more

Seriously zoos do so much important conservation work as well I hate when people shit all over zoos as if the animals are locked up and not looked after

The SF Zoo has two sea lions. Now, if you know SF, you know that sea lions are a Thing. They’re all over Pier 39 and various other beaches in N California. In fact, the zoo is near the ocean, so there are sea lions not 200 yards from the zoo entrance. So having sea lions in the zoo seems sort of superfluous.

Except the sea lions are blind. One was found as an adult after suffering a gun shot wound to the face that destroyed his eyes. The other was found as an adolescent, weak and starving because it had been blinded and unable to hunt. So they were rescued and introduced and the zoo built them a nice pool where they can swim and sunbathe and people toss them fish. It’s not the biggest exhibit, or the fanciest. But it’s a home for them, where they’re safe and well fed. Sea lions aren’t the most romantic of animals, but they’re a part of SF culture and a lot of us have a soft spot for the loud, bulbous things. And because of zoos, these two get to live long, happy lives.

Whenever anyone complains about zoos, I think about Silent Knight and Henry. 

I think it’s St. Louis zoo that is saving big cats in Africa. Scientists couldn’t figure out what was killing off the local lion population. They were dying off from Canine Distemper. The local unvaccinated dogs of the towns would spread the disease to other animals or have it themselves. When the lions ate the infected animals they would catch it as well. You know what that Zoo is doing to stop this disease? They are going over to those towns and vaccinating the dogs for free. The community loves it and people from other villages comes for miles to get their dogs vaccinated as well.

They also do work with camel populations because the local human population use the camels for food sources the zoos help monitor the camels health.

Another zoo, I want to say it’s the Oregon zoo but don’t quote me on that, is helping female inmates. The zoo works with the female prisons by encouraging the inmates to assist in the breeding and raising of endangered species of butterflies. They plant the specific plants that the butterflies and catapillars need, raise them, and release them. These inmates get noted in any scientific journals that get published. They are giving these inmates a sense of accomplishment and validation.

Zoos not only save species but bring together and assist communities in an effort to save the environment. Zoos, good zoos, are essential to the future and I will fight anyone who tries to say otherwise.

PS you don’t see PETA doing any of this.

One of the local zoos in my area at one point rescued a bald eagle that had been shot and kept it in the zoo to let it recuperate until they freed it again. Some of the zoos in my state will keep injured animals there until they heal again.

Helsinki Zoo is the world leader in snow leopard and Amur leopard conservation, in their care these endangered species have managed to breed more than anywhere else in captivity and this in turn has enabled the re-introduction of these animals back to their native habitats. https://www.korkeasaari.fi/helsinki-zoo/

I work at a zoo that is instrumental in the California Condor recovery program (among dozens of other conservation projects). We went from 42 surviving individuals left to over 400, over 200 of whom are in the wild. We’re part of the amur leopard species survival plan with two young animals who are eagerly attempting to make babies. We host one of North America’s only bachelor troops of western lowland gorillas, preserving the social structure of wild gorillas. All of our bald eagles are rescues who would not survive in the wild. All our keepers participate in field research and conservation work in addition to a full time team of conservationists. We host the most genetically valuable male Masai giraffe in North America, who has sired 5 offspring with 1 on the way, increasing the genetic diversity of his entire species. If you’re against zoos, you don’t know what zoos do.

Super, SUPER important thread.

Also zoos tend to do a lot of breeding and conservation work with smaller, less charismatic species like invertebrates and amphibians. Those species are extremely important in the ecosystem but don’t get the same notoriety as the charismatic megafauna.

People who write fic on mobile genuinely frighten me

Until a few years ago I wrote fic on my Nokia brick, does that help?

I didn’t think it could get worse and yet somehow it did

All through high school I wrote fic on my TI-83 graphing calculator using the alpha function. I discovered you could write an “equation” about 449 lines long this way before the calculator stopped accepting input and I had to hand copy it to paper.

After that I wrote fic on the note function of my old LG flip phone where you had to press 7 four times to types S.

Also wrote fic on a paper plate while at a party at least twice.

I’ve never been more fascinated and also deeply unnerved by a person before

A poor craftsman blames his tools

Weiss: god dammit arc, don't you have self esteem?

Jaune: as a matter of fact, i do. She's 5'3", has white hair, baby blue eyes and the most beautiful smile on earth.

Weiss: i. . . *blushes*

Jaune: *smiles*

Ruby: *just trying to enjoy her morning* can i have ONE! BREAKFAST! without you two flirting right in front of me!?

me_irl

this is so stupid *hits reblog*

This is the content I signed up for on tumblr

This has been living in my head rent free. It’s just so gentle, so supportive in what could be their most traumatic point in their lives both physically and mentally. I kinda wish they find each other first and then the others so we can see more of this dynamic where these two are acting as support for each other.

“Master Arc, there’s too many of them! What are we going to do?

Ruby: “Jaune! Quick we need a plan! There’s too many people to save and not enough time to save them!

Jaune: “On it.” *Unsheathes sword*

Jaune’s Father: “If nothing else, be kind. Kindness costs you nothing, sport”

Weiss: *From underneath many blankets, peeking from behind a comforter* I’m truly sorry, Arc. I had meant to assist you in your dust theory paper, but I’m not feeling terribly well.

Jaune: *Scratches head* Hey, no worries Sn- Weiss. Do you need anything? A hot compress?

Weiss: *Is glad she has a comforter for a shield as she blushes in embarrassment* How! *Coughs, in a normal tone of voice* Excuse me. How did you…

Jaune: I have seven sisters, Weiss.

Weiss: *Nods meekly, still embarrassed* A hot compress would be lovely. I feel awful.

—————– 

Yang: *Blinks* Is that vomit boy?

Blake: *Reading* You could try calling him by his name.

Yang: You could try acknowledging his existence. *Blake glares, feeling a little guilty*

Cardin: *Walking by* He needed a warm compress.

Yang: What for?

Cardin: *Feeling kinda humbled, a bit envious* Nothin’ serious.

—————– 

Jaune: *Taking box* Thanks Coco, you’re a lot less scary than Poppy said you were.

Coco: *Lowers her shades* Oh, did snookums slander my good name?

Jaune: *Feels his neck get hot* U-uh, no! Just that you were kinda protective of, um, *lifts box, almost drops it and gives Coco a heart attack* this. Sorry. But really, thanks, it’s really nice of you.

Coco: *Clutching her heart, waves him off* Just tell that leggy blonde she owes me some serious cuddling.

—————–

Professor Peach: It’s not often I get students actually interested in my hobby.

Jaune: Well, we are all teenagers.

Professor Peach: *Laughs* True enough. Hmm. *Side eyes Jaune* Well, the same can’t be said for you, young man. *Sees Jaune about to protest* I think what you meant to say is you’re all aspiring Huntsmen and Huntresses. Sometimes the future is so bright and shiny to your classmates that they forgot the everyday. It’s quite nice to see that isn’t the case with each of you.

Jaune: *Opens and closes his mouth, shuffles awkwardly*

Professor Peach: *Smiles softly* You have nothing to be embarrassed of, Jaune Arc. Here *carefully hands his request over* exactly as you requested. Have a wonderful day, child.

Jaune: *Nods quickly and walks off*

Professor Peach: And days like today, Rosalie, are why you do this job. *Happily hums as she gets back to work*

—————–

Jaune: Okay, look, I’m just asking which–

Beryl: *Sighs dramatically* And I’m telling you, kitten *Ignores Jaune’s protests* that they’re all mondo good.

Julie: Like, Bea-Bea’s right. That one *pointing with a fuchsia nail* is just the sweetest thing in the world, will just have you feeling warm and happy inside after.

Cissy: Plus it has just…mmm. Ouch! *Is swatted by Beryl, playfully* You bitch. Anyways, that one right there is just cute and total *squeals* overload. Can’t go wrong with it, it’s a classic.

Beryl: Then that one is probably the safest bet, because who doesn’t love a puppy?

Jaune: A puppy? *Beryl nods* Well, uh, thanks. And I promise I’ll get them back to you by tomorrow. I’ll also see if Ren’s interested, but, uh, maybe keep your semblances ready?

Cissy: *Raises hand* Uh, I haven’t activated mine yet. I’ve just got Nemesis.

Beryl: *Slings arm around Cissy’s shoulders* Don’t worry, kitten, between My House and Julie’s Spit-Spot, plus our weapons we can handle Valkyrie if she gets in a mood.

Jaune: *Deadpan* She was benchpressing one of the academy’s washing machines the other day. No aura.

Julie: We’re good at running away.

Beryl: *Scandalized* Julie!

Julie: Cute boy or not, no way am I getting my face rocked by that monster.

Jaune: *Shrugs, collecting stuff to leave* Um, I don’t know if it’ll work but maybe fill your bags with syrup. Might work as a distraction if Mt. Nora erupts.

Beryl: *Flatly* Really?

Cissy: *Flips platinum blonde hair* I saw her drinking it right out of the bottle once before Lie stopped her.

Beryl: *Sees Jaune’s gone, giggles* Somehow I think kitten got the better end of the deal. *Speculative* Shame he’s super taken.

Julie: Uh, what? Isn’t-

Beryl: Oh you sweet summer child, never change *Ruffles Julie’s hair*

Julie: Ack! Stop!

—————–

Jaune: Thanks headmaster! This is all really great!

Ozpin: *Working at desk* No need to thank me, mister Arc.

Jaune: Uh, yeah I do. You didn’t have to allow me to do this, but you did and it’s really neat of you.

Ozpin: *Smiles* Well then, you’re welcome. Enjoy.

—————–

Ruby: You definitely came to the right girl!

Jaune: *Looking at his haul* I’ll say. You’re sure you’re okay with helping? I kinda saw the looks you were giving Crescent Rose back at the forge. *Teasingly* You sure you don’t want some alone time with your baby?

Ruby: *Blushes the color of her cloak* S-shut up! She’ll be fine without me, I was just thinking of trying out some custom dust ammo is all! *Very seriously* I don’t have a problem! You have a problem!

Jaune: Riii-iiight. *Ruby puffs cheeks out, teasingly* Like you don’t have a cookie problem?

Ruby: *Points dramatically, very loud* THAT… *Slumps and sighs* please don’t tell Yang I have a nightly plate of chocolate chip.

Jaune: *Laughs* No problem, Ruby. You know me. How can I turn my back on the girl who actually talked her team into not killing me when I told them I cheated my way into Beacon?

Ruby: Yeah, yeah. So get those babies ready, vomit boy and watch Ruby - I am totally a pro at this and all things wonderful - Rose do her magic!

Jaune: Will do, crater face!

—————–

Jaune: *Grins* Thanks Cardin. You know, when you’re not being all racist and pushing people around you’re actually a really nice guy.

Sky: Ooooh. What a compliment. The kindness just gently caresses your face like a butterfly’s wings, huh Cardin?

Cardin: *Scowling* Shut it, Sky. I’m still trying so that’s totally fair.

Jaune: I, uh, didn’t mean it–

Cardin: *Rubbing neck* I know dude, no worries. Got a date with my girl coming up and it’s our anniversary, so it’s just a little extra. And don’t worry about paying me back, this is like the very least I can do for you after everything. *Jaune’s about to protest* Nope. I know we’re cool, but I was a huge douchebag. I mean it.

Jaune: Well thanks. It means a lot. *Leaves*

Russel: *Reading motorcycle magazine* You don’t have a girl, bro.

Cardin: *Frowns* I know.

Dove: You know you don’t have to help him out like that. You’re only hurting yourself.

Cardin: *Wipes face with hands, flops on his bed and stares at the ceiling* Yeah, well, too bad for Cardin fucking Winchester. If Jaune’s happy, I’m happy. I wasn’t joking when I said he deserves better than me. *Rolls on side to stare at wall.*

RDL: *All staring at their leader, all of them sad*

—————–

Jaune: *Cheerfully* I’m back!

Weiss: *Very grumpily glaring at Jaune from beneath her covers, only her eyes visible, her voice is acidic* It’s quite fine, Arc. It’s only been two and a half hours. I know you have better things to do, so don’t bother acting like you were looking forward to coming back to deal with me.

Jaune: *Winces* Yeah, sorry. I was getting the hot towel when I kinda realized that you’ve probably been dealing with this all by yourself. *Weiss growls* It’s just, I remembered how you said you and your Dad don’t really talk and your little brother’s a, a snot, I think you called him? *Weiss feels embarrassed, but says nothing while staring at Jaune* Just hold on.

*Weiss does but when he comes back in the room her eyes go wide in shock*

Jaune: I-I just have a lot of sisters. Four older, three younger and they all have different things they like when they’re on their period. Saphron’s just happy if I’ll bring her things and Coral just wants me to leave her alone. Peri always wants cuddles and movies and *blushes as he realizes how much he’s talking* I just thought instead of whatever you usually do, you might want something more? Just to try something new?

Weiss: *Stares at several hot compresses, an expensive looking box of chocolates, a small boquet of blue Glory of the Snow’s, a stack of films, several unhealthy but delicious looking snacks and a stuffed polar bear with a top hat*

Weiss: *Wide eyed, completely taken aback* W-what?

Jaune: I-I-I don’t mean to assume anything, but I’m guessing you didn’t really have anyone who tried to make your period any better?

Weiss: I have a butler, Klein, who would always check in on me but never, well I never thought to ask for more. *Very softly as she stares at the rolling entourage of goodies* It never occurred.

Jaune: Okay, well, um, how about I bring this in?

*Jaune does, Weiss watching as he sets the flowers near her bed with wide eyes and gratefully accepting the compress, bringing it under her comforter and sighing in relief*

Jaune: We’ll have to set it up on your scroll, but I did bring movies to just so you have something fun to do today. There’s a family film with an apparently super cute actor, another that’s a cute animated movie that’s a staple of everybody’s childhood except mine apparently, *Weiss snorts, watching the covers* and one about a puppy finding his way home–

Weiss: *Eyes glued to the case, speaks immediately* That one.

Jaune: You sure, I checked the fam–

Weiss: *Eyes not leaving the box* I’m certain. *Flushes* Please?

Jaune: Sure. Just let me set this up.

*Jaune also hands over the chocolates, which Weiss stares at curiously and much to her delight, brings over the bags of snacks and she clutches the bag of cheesy poofs to her, very much wanting to try them for the first time*

Jaune: Okay, that should do it. So you’ve got your Cheez-E-Poofs, I grabbed a few sodas, juices that I thought you might like *quickly* but I also got water! Um, here. *Hands Weiss the stuffed animal, which she stares at and brings close to her face, loving how cute it is and how soft it is* Oh, Ruby helped me dip some strawberry’s in chocolate if you wanna try them later. There’s normal ones too.

Weiss: *Touched and doesn’t know what to say* I-it’s all so…umm, thank you. You really didn’t have to.

Jaune: *Scratches the back of his head, looks away* No problem, Weiss. I’m used to stuff like this, so…I’ll go. *Looking very embarassed* You’ve probably had enough of me talking you to death, so I’m just gonna go across the hall–

Weiss: *From behind her bear* Stay. *Jaune stares at her, blinking in surprise* You were going to offer, but you…back home the most I ever got were the occasional visits from Klein. But having someone to be there sounds very nice and I’d like if you would. Very much. I certainly won’t eat all of this anyways, so…please?

Jaune: *Nodding rapidly* Sure. Right. Yeah, I just didn’t wanna assume or impose or *watches Weiss’ eyes light up at the cheesy snack she just tried* I’ll sit.

*Jaune sits next to Weiss’ bed and they watch the film, eat snacks and after the movie, Weiss tries the strawberries as the second film starts. When she wakes up after falling asleep, she discovers the mess she’d made of the comforter is cleaned, Jaune had gathered up her snacks and placed them in a box. Her flowers now have a vase and the bear she had placed on his shoulder is on her pillow*

Weiss: *Smiles and hugs bear tightly*

~~A week later~~

Weiss: *Exasperated* Where is he?

Yang: *Balancing a pencil on her nose on her bed, ignoring her homework* Who?

Weiss: *Notices Berry B. Cold on Yang’s stomach and shoots forward like a bullet, snatching him and hugging him to her abdomen* You know who you bum, Jaune!

Yang: *Grinning like the cat who ate the canary* Oh-ho, finally acknowledging him by his first name after all this time, Weiss Cream?

Weiss: *Blushing* Quiet you.

Ruby: Leave her alone, Yang. But, uh, I don’t really know where he is.

Weiss: Nonsense. I may have missed the chance to help him with his paper but at the very least I can at least explain some of the theory to him, give him better than what Beacon’s textbooks offer.

Yang: Oh yeah, sure, sounds fun.

Weiss: *Bristling* E-even if it’s a boring subject, it is useful. *Hugs bear tighter* And he needs all the help he can get and–

Blake: *Walking in* If you’re talking about Jaune, he’s way too busy Weiss.

Weiss: I beg your pardon?

Yang: Yeah, you didn’t know?

Weiss: *Irritated* No Yang, it’s why I asked you in the first place.

Yang: *Flatly* Oh. I thought you were joking. No, I mean it, don’t look at me like that! Seriously, vomit boy’s been busy the last couple days.

Weiss: *Confused* But why?

Yang: *Staring* Seriously? I mean, he got that whole thing together for you.

Weiss: M-me!? Is that…but he said he was used to it! I-I knew he was talking about his sisters, but he said Ruby helped! H-he…

Ruby: Yup, I did, but I didn’t know Jaune was making them so you could have a nice, comfy that-time-of-the-month. I thought he just wanted a strawberry snack! That he’d finally been enlightened. *Sighs*

Yang: And that whole spread wasn’t just free, he went around and traded a lot of favors to get it together.

Weiss: *Gaping* H-he…what? He traded favors, just… *Uncertain, squeezing her bear while looking distressed* You didn’t know? He hasn’t done that with any of you?

Ruby: Nope!

Blake: Gods no.

Yang: Dad’s sweet like that for me when it’s bad-bad, but if Jaune offered I’d definitely turn him down. *Gives Weiss a look*

Ruby: Yeah, and all I need is my Non-Descript Winter Holiday lights and my guns ‘n ammo mags plus my scroll and I’m happy. *Shrugs* I get really crabby so I prefer being alone.

RWY: *Staring at Blake*

Blake: My ex did it for me once. Never again.

Weiss: S-so he did all that, just for me? Because I was miserable?

Yang: *Sighs, flops back on her bed* I don’t know why you’re so surprised. Ask his team. Jaune’s actually a pretty nice guy. He aimed Neptune in your direction back at the dance even though anybody with eyes knew he was kinda bummed the whole night. After you started talking with him after and started sharing, I think he just wanted you to have, y’know, some normal stuff that we all enjoy because our Dad’s aren’t asshats.

Ruby: Yang!

Blake: *Sees Weiss looking at her, looking upset* He’s been Coco’s personal shopper for the last week, he’s been dodging Nora since Ren agreed to a date with each of those girls from Team SNLT because she is pissed, he’s been doing odd jobs for Ozpin all week, he’s been doing a lot of work outside for Peach and I think he’s also been in the laundry rooms a lot. That stuff wasn’t just free. Plus he’s had to do all his usual leader stuff and his homework.

Weiss: *Gapes, hugs her bear and her eyes drift to her box of treats and she purses her lips* B-but…that’s so much, just so I…

Yang: Um, he likes you Weiss. Even if he stepped aside for Neptune, he’s not gonna just poof whatever he feels for you away just because he doesn’t have a chance. Then he sees you feeling like shit, knows just how bad it is because of all his sisters and gets it in his head that you deserve the princess treatment. *Stretches* He offered for Pyrrha once but she just went really red, yelled ‘NO!’ and apparently pushed him through a wall.

Weiss: *Sits on bed with her knees pulled up, hugging her bear while hiding a wobbling lip as she realizes and RBY just sighs*

~~Four days later~~

Yang: *Grins* Called it.

Blake: Yes, because it was such a mystery that this was gonna happen after Weiss had it spelled out for her that Jaune still has it bad for her even if he was trying to get over her. I’ll admit I still don’t understand the way Weiss thinks or why Jaune would put himself through all of that just because Weiss was having a bad period when it was clear at the time she wasn’t even thinking of him that way, but c’mon Yang.

Yang: *Hand out*

Blake: *Rolls her eyes, puts Lien in her hand* Child.

*Meanwhile Weiss stands on her tiptoes, arms around Jaune’s neck and enjoys kissing her boyfriend*

——————————————————————————

Two things: One, I headcanon Cardin as gay and occasionally having a thing for Jaune if it isn’t entirely obvious. Two, I don’t want my Tumblr to be nothing but crack/lewd. I’d also like some occasional romance/wholesome content. This isn’t the best, but hopefully it’s not quite as bad as I think it is towards the end.

After the finale -

Jaune: “Thank you, for everything, Weiss. I know we’re not really close, but…”

Weiss, confused: “What do you mean? You’re my closest friend not in my team. Just the other day, I gave you a supportive nod AND I touched your shoulder. That’s huge for me”

Art made by starlordrockz on Instagram

Why is the Fantasy Protagonist's Cool Animal Companion always a wolf, a bird of prey, or something cool? If you live in a medieval-ish society, even if you have cool powers to bond with an animal, it's probably going to be a farm animal.

What about a fantasy book where the heroine's Spirit Companion Animal is a pig. And not a cute piglet, but a huge fucking sow. As clever as a human, but absolutely as ruthless as pigs can be.

And the protagonist is like "should I quit eating pork? Does it disturb you, that milk piglet could have been yours." And the pig is like "bitch first of all the difference is that it isn't mine, and don't fucking pretend that - given the chance - I wouldn't eat a human child."

"What are we going to do with him?" "I propose murder." "Where would we put the body?" "I volunteer." "Are you suggesting we should kill him because you want to eat his corpse?" "I'm sure there are plenty of other good reasons to kill him here, I just can't think of them all right now."

Actor AU 3

The previous one<-

Penny:*dancing on set*

Nora:Someone seems happy.

Penny:🎶First episode I don’t have to wear props! 🎶 This is so liberating!

Nora:You read the script right?

Penny:Just let me vibe!

xxxx

Neo:*hanging off ledge*

Cinder:.....Long live queen. *pushes her off*

Ruby:Yo! Let’s add a lion king character!

Director:No!

xxxx

Ironwood,Broadcasting:.....

Everyone:.....

Ironwood:*leans it closely* You have one hour...or I poison Gotham Harbor.

Yang:Pay up Weiss! I told you he’d say it!

Weiss:Damn it!

Ruby:*laughing hysterically.

xxxx

Adam:*sips tea* Now you’re probably wondering why I’m on set for V8 when I have not scene or relevance. The answer is simple.

Neo:*hits Yang of the edge*

Blake:Yaaaaang-

*faint laughing offset*

Blake.....*snickers* You asshole, I was in the zone!

Adam:I’m just adding to the tension!

Yang:*hanging from harness* You should’ve yelled “Lionized!!!!!”

Adam:Oh that would’ve been great!

Blake:You two are the worst!

xxxx

Right after Cinder stabs Penny

Jaune:Penny!!!! H-Hold on!

Penny:J-Jaune? I don’t...I don’t feel so g-good... hehe, this...*tearing up* this really hurts...

Jaune:*crying* Don’t speak! My semblance, I’ll...I

Penny:No...don’t. No time, but....there’s still something I need you t-to do. Cinder...can’t get the power and the relics. *reaches for blade*

Jaune:W-What?! No, I....I can’t-

Penny:It’s okay Jaune. *smiles* Everything is...gonna be okay.

Jaune:*raising bl-

Director:Cut!

Jaune:Huh?

Penny:Hmm? *sits up* Oh no, did I miss a line?

Director:*points to Cinder*

They turn to see Weiss comforting the the woman with a hug while trying not to laugh at the situation.

Penny:What happened!?

Weiss:She’s crying over the scene!

Penny:What!? *runs over*

Cinder:I am so sorry I ruined take! You were doing so well. Too well! Ugh, god damnit!

Penny:Awww you know I’m fine right? Come here! *hugs her*

Weiss:Cinder fall everyone, the biggest teddy bear around. *wipping eyes*

Jaune:You’re crying too!?

Weiss:I am the second biggest teddy bear around.

xxxx

Jaune:We have to go!!!

Winter:*points at Cinder*....Sleep with one eye open.

Director:Cut! Why!?

Cinder:Hahahaha!

Winter:I couldn’t help myself.

Director:Be angry!

Bloop!

Winter:*glares* The next time I see you I swear, I’ll have your head!

Director:Less angry!

Cinder:That one actually kinda scared me. Haha geez, Winter giving chills!

Bloop!

Winter:Can I curse?

Director:We’re already at the limit before we’d have change ratings.

Winter:Dang it! I just one F bomb!

Director:We’ll put it the gag reel.

Bloop!

Jaune:We need to go!

Winter: Tsk, *points sword* You are going to pay for everything you’ve done! So watch you fucking back...

Director:Happy?

Winter:*grinning* Yeah that felt great!

xxxxx

Bomb starts sliding slowly.

Qrow:*clenches Clover’s pin*

Bomb falls off plan set

.....

Vine and Elm:.....

Harriet:Well...boom! I guess!? For the love of- *face palms*

Qrow:....Uhhh I haha, I think hahaha- hahaha! Can we maybe tilt the plan a little less!? Oh boy! I guess someone should’ve grabbed that.

Harriet:You know what, can we keep this ending!?

Robyn: Rename the whole episode haha. “Adults watch bomb slowly fall”

Vine:Okay but I like how we’re all just waiting for it to stop, and then just tips right over! The moment it started moving I knew it was going way too fast!

Elm:Mission failed everyone. We’ll get em next time.

xxxxx

Interviewer:How do you think fans will react to this finale?

Penny:Well I can’t spoil anything for obvious reasons but I hope it resonates well. It’s fun having my character be around for a finale for once, and with so many other roles she doesn’t get interact with much. It’s been really fun.

Interviewer:Oh yeah? Who’s been best to work with?

Penny:Oooo that’s tough. My cousin, Nora, she’s been fun to interact with this volume. But uhhh I think I’ll give it to Jaune. We don’t have many scenes overall together but...it’s hard explain. I feel like between my character and his, there’s this kinda mutal headspace they have for their friends. If I had to pick a person I would say Jaune would have the ability to open up Penny in a way nobody else could.

Interviewing:Interesting, well I hope you both get more interactions and that this finale debuts well.

Penny:Thank you!

xxxxx

Winter:*dragging Ironwood off*

Emerald:....Wait, I know I do illusions, but how did the Ironwood not hear or feel the wind coming from an airship several feet away? I kicked up dirt and alerted Amber in volume 3.

Director:....Do we have time to rewri- no? Okay... just don’t think about it!

xxxxx

Nora:Someone cut the signal!

Watts: *playing Galaga* Hehehe all according to plan.

Neo:Change the tab! It’s- we see it in camera! Haha!

Watts:*strokes mustache* I know. That’s how genius I am. Cracking codes and high-scores! Muhahaha!

xxxx

Ruby:Fun fact, we have two Hound costumes. One where he’s mainly doglike and the other when he’s beating up people. But I you wonder who’s playing him under all that? *takes mask off*

Cardin:Sup.

Ruby:Forever a bully, even behind the set.

Cardin:Pfft am not.

Penny:You had a laugh tossing me!

Cardin:You don’t count, you’re family!

Penny:Ah!?

xxxxxx

Yang:*holding camera* Pssst!

Ren:*sipping coffee*???

Yang:Ready for our fight in the snow?

Ren:I can’t feel my toes! I’m gonna yell at you and then walk away.

Yang:I’ll mess up so we’ll stay here longer.

Ren:Yang! We can have a real fight in the snow right now!

Yang:Heheh, kidding. Mostly.

xxxxx

Ruby:Blake have you heard of Among Us?

Blake:Wh-what?

Ruby:Among Us. You gotta do tasks without an imposter killing you. I only bring it up because we’re rebooting the power. Someone always dies in electrical.

Blake:Ruby this is real life. Besides this way more Resident Evil, but with no- Tyrant!

Hound:*busts through window*

Ruby:Wny is it always electrical!!!?

xxxxx

Ironwood:*doing shirtless pull-ups*

Ozpin:He’s getting ready for his fight scenes. Trying to look winded but a little bulkier in the moment.

Winter:*watching Ironwood*

Ozpin:*snickering* Winter is trying to get into the mindset of having to a play a character who has to go against all that. The agony of fighting someone you looked at for so long.

Winter:You can call it like it is. I’m gawking a little.

Ozpin:She’s gawking a little.

xxxxx

Hazel:*grabs Salem*

Salem:*squeezing his biceps* Its like my entire torso. You eat a bear for breakfast?

Hazel:Oh my god.

Salem:You know this isn’t the worst way to go out. I had a good run. At least you hold me, unlike Ozma! Why didn’t you hold me like this!?

Hazel:You’re so ridiculous.

xxxxx

Set crew adjusting lighting in manor. All but one stays on.

Oscar and Penny:*waltzing underneath it*

Nora:...I like how on or off camera I personally lose the dating game while another redhead wins.

Ozpin:Which pair you talking about?

Nora:Huh?

Yang and Adam:*cracking jokes*

Nora:This is nonsense! Where’s Jaune!?

Weiss:Food run with Ruby.

Nora:Aaaaaggghhh!

drake?

josh?

where’s the body of christ?

Jaune and Weiss adventuring

Weiss:Fork in the road. What’s the map say.

Jaune:It’s not on the map.

Weiss:What?

Jaune:Yeah this section isn’t on the map. We’re like a couple miles off map.

Weiss:Hmmm in that case....left.

Jaune:Why left.

Weiss:It looks like the correct path.

Jaune:Really? I think it’s the right one.

Weiss:I’m positive we go left.

Jaune:You sure?

Weiss:Jaune, have I ever told you do something that I wasn’t completely sure of?

Jaune: “Cum in me. It’s fine.”

Weiss:*red* I don’t understand why you giving out requests! And that wasn’t me! You were talking talking to bedroom Weiss. Never ask bedroom Weiss! That bitch never thinks straight. She’s too busy getting dick to think critically!

Jaune:*snickering* Is that the new rule now? We gotta discuss that before bed?

Weiss:Yes, now we’re going left. *walking*

Jaune:So, Weiss, where do you want it.

Weiss:That’s easy.

Jaune:.......? Well?

Weiss:I...well...shut up! Be responsible! Why do I have to make the tough choices!?

Jaune:Hahaha!

Weiss:*flustered* I hate you sometimes.

Jaune:I love you too. I’ll be the responsible one in bed. *holds her hand* You just keep being yourself. Bedroom Weiss is cute.

Weiss:Ugh, can’t stand that woman.