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I just found the scariest Gary Larson cartoon. Like what the hell

A warning from the past.

I think I should start bragging about my adopted son’s achievements when people around me start bragging about their kids. Ooooh your child can count to 10 in mandarin? Well, my child found 110 landmines! And he’s only 6 years old!

I believe authors should be cryptic and unhelpful in the interpretation of their own work or even act like they’re dead and never comment on it ever

out of the backyard gang baljeet is one of the worst to make into a coffee table. ferb would also be pretty bad. phineas and isabella would be mid because they have those bigass heads but the skinny bodies. might be worse than baljeet and ferb if you're a person who cares about symmetry. buford would objectively make the best coffee table because his silhouette has the most evenly-spaced surface area. now if you wanna talk about pnf characters in general i think pet mode perry would be the best coffee table out of all of them

love this kinda post where you have to have seen a different specific post for it to make any sense at all

every single time time i try to check facebook marketplace for furniture i get jumpscared by this (admittedly sick) custom baljeet coffee table

Working at a library for five years and being an author for a year more is such a wild time, because I always try to predict what new content will get the most pushback and have a script or redirect ready, but it's NEVER the things I expect.

Like, we'll do a whole training to prep our Drag Storytime safely that'll go fine, and then we have to get security involved because our outside art display included photographs of beards.

I'll help make a whole setup for non-denominational December Holiday Decorations, only to have to veto the January setup because someone on staff thought HELPFUL TRENDY CRASH DIETS FOR POST-HOLIDAY WEIGHT LOSS was a fun non-denominational setup to put in the teen section.

I'll add autobiographies with the most vile, pedophillic, unsettling narratives imaginable to the archive and brace for complaints, then see patrons walk right past it to pick up a kid's book with a puppy on it and ask if it's supposed to be porn.

I guess my point is: if you're posting on Tumblr and trying to brace yourself or predict how to word your content in a way so that no one can possibly get mad at you or misinterpret the intentions... take it easy on yourself? People are weird. I cannot emphasize enough that, even in a professional environment with years of practice and training and archiving, it is impossible to gauge what will get what responses.

Be kind to yourself! Post what brings you joy!

Library Leif, out!

As a wise tumblr user once said: do not write for bad-faith readers.

This extra layer is just "who the fuck knows what they'll get mad about anyway"

I talked with someone who works in book publishing, and they mentioned they get a lot of AI slop these days. I asked how they know what's human-written, and they said that there's one thing that will reveal AI slop without error, and that's the author not knowing their own creation.

A real author can talk about their story for hours. They love to elaborate every character, every twist, every detail. Because those existed in their head long before they ever made it to the paper. They were loved before they were written.

AI slop wasn't. It was just vomited into existence.

Someone who generates their story with AI will never bond with their story the way real writers do. That's why they may not know what to say when they're asked why did the character do this, or even remember the scene in the first place. It's something they read, not something they wrote. And to a writer, those are not the same.

There's a unique bond between the creator and the creation. If your writing doesn't come of you, you'll always lack that.

I keep hearing soon we won't be able to tell. And perhaps, in a superficial sense, that's true. But there is a difference. It's not em dashes or repeated words. It's whether the story was made by someone who loves it and cares about it.

If the writer's eyes light up when asked why did the character do that? and they start their very own Ted Talk about that specific scene...

then it's real.

When there's a very obvious bloodstain in the hardwood kitchen floor, but the house is 30k under expected price

I feel like the picture is necessary to understand just how not subtle this is.

it's fine

I’d like to point out that the colour red has more positive than negative meanings.

hazbin hotel is south park for people who have be gay do crime pins on their backpack but would call the cops on a mentally ill homeless person in the subway

You know every show that the premise is like “people find out ghosts/monsters/demons are real and are charged with stopping them” appeal to me way more now as a post-graduate not because I believe in ghosts more or whatever but because can you IMAGINE just being handed a job that you don’t even need to apply for? Like just being told “basically there’s this bad thing and all you do is make sure it doesn’t do what it wants” that’s just customer service baby and I worked that for 6 goddamn years! Just TRY getting past “I have a job to offer you” before I can jump down your throat agreeing.

some idiot with a dumb ghost-hunting name who joined the Cause because they love the paranormal: oh fuck oh shit this is really scary guys I’m having second thoughts

me, who knows that if we run away I have to apply to like, a real actual Jobbe again: wakey wakey demons it’s this or retail so guess who’s got nothing to lose

tomorrow i have to give my daughter’s pikachu plushie gender-affirming surgery

so i hauve covid rn and i must say, American cold medicine is the absolute bees knees. You go to a UK pharmacy and they tenderly press like eight (8) paracetamol into the palm of your hand... God FORBID you're sick in France, i had to scour every pharmacy in Paris for something that wasn't HOMEOPATHIC PASTILLES. meanwhile last night i took the last of my stash of Nyquil that expired in 2019 and it was like getting hit by a fucking baseball bat (affectionate). press X to timeskip. LOVE me a cheeky little medically induced coma. you can really feel that it's a precursor to meth. i know that everything is fucking awful over there my friedns and my heart goes out to every one of you but if you need one small bright light of national pride in this time of strife please know that i envy you your cold medicine every day

why do we take towels for granted. have you ever needed to dry off and could only use your clothes or a blanket or something. little fibers all over you, just terrible. towels dont do this. not nearly as much at least. thank you towels

the really crazy thing about cooking is that once you practice it enough (for all the gamers reading this: "grind enough exp") your threshold for wuat counts as a low effort / depression / I Dont Really Want To Cook meal rises steadily and you can feel yourself becoming the kind of person whose "chill dinner" takes 1h45 and involves three pans

ok but how do I get there from "assembling a sandwich is too much work"

As someone who went through this and struggles with chronic pain and fatigue, add 1 thing semi regularly. And I do mean just 1 thing.

When I first moved out most my meals were instant ramen. Then I started adding 1 egg to that ramen to get a little protein in. In a couple months, 1 egg became two. Then it was 2 eggs and 1 chopped green onion. Then a couple months later I was adding carrots and other vegetables. In about two years I was able to skip the instant ramen part altogether and now use chicken broth and noodles and I’m basically making a ramenesque soup from scratch when I’m craving ramen. It took 2+ years total of just gradually, one at a time, adding one ingredient. Over a period of months/weeks.

Start with where you’re able. If a sandwich is too much, maybe try just a piece of bread and some meat or cheese. Focus on where you can be gradually introducing more nutrients into your body. 1 slice of deli meat. A couple weeks later, that plus 1 slice of cheese. Then 1 vegetable. Maybe they don’t all make it into sandwich form and that’s ok. But if you keep what’s the most basic and simple for yourself and slowly add 1 thing that’s not too much of a hassle, over a couple months you might start toasting the bread before putting cheese and meat on it. Then one day there’s more vegetables. Years down the line you might find yourself owning a panini press or slicing your own bread.

Most of us will never be gourmet chefs and that shouldn’t be the goal. You might not ever get to the point where you own a panini press. But the more important thing is that you’re finding ways that work, for you, gradually, in order to make your meals more nutritious. The expectation to cook a full, unique meal every night for dinner is a relatively new phenomenon and completely unrealistic for most people. Having the same 3 things you can make consistently and keep on rotation is plenty fine, especially if you get to the point where you can mix it up a little bit by adding ingredients in the method stated above. Feeding yourself should be the #1 goal, getting more nutrients in #2, and stepping it up to the next level #3 when you have the capacity to. Like with a lot of things, it’s really just about consistency. Start with where you can be consistent. If that’s 1 meal a week you cook yourself and the rest is hot pockets, but you can do that 1 meal consistently, then that’s where you start. Then when you have that down, maybe try two (of the same) meals a week, or ask what you can add to your hot pocket to make it a little better for you. (Some vegetables on the side for instance).

Don’t try to jump in from 0 to full course meal all at once or you’ll overwhelm yourself. Building a meal outward from bread and butter over a period of weeks is incredibly possible. No two peoples’ timelines will be the same, but it is entirely possible and that success will look different for everyone, and that’s also ok. As long as you’re feeding yourself, that’s what’s most important.

this is so helpful. too many times when I ask how to do something, people tell me to "just do it" like I'm supposed to already know what steps to take. and I almost never know what steps to take. someone actually telling me is so refreshing

My advice for getting from "sandwich too hard" to "can actually cook, somehow" is to get a rice cooker, start messing around with what liquid you cook the rice in, start adding stuff to the rice while it cooks or after it cooks, see where you end up. This can also like silverjirachi said be very gradual, one thing at a time. I make rice and eat it with butter. Eventually I make rice with chicken broth, and eat it with butter. I start adding canned chicken. I start adding poultry seasoning. I start adding dehydrated chopped onion. I start cutting up a little fresh onion. Sometimes I throw an egg in there now. I have a couple other rice cooker recipes of similar complexity. I still don't really use perishable ingredients except sometimes onion, because my executive function isn't that reliable.

Somehow never occurred to me I can use my rice cooker to cook things WITH the rice. So cool!!

It's time for Tiktok video of the day from my stash 🎶

Heh

"Amore! [derogatory]"

credit where credit is due, he didn’t fall for it. i was 100% expecting him to make shit up but he knew what he was talking about.