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“I’m ninety-six years old. I’d rather just take a pill and get it over with. Whenever I tell that to my wife, she pretends to slap me in the face. But I’m ready to go. And I’d like it to be sudden. I’ve had a good run. I was lucky enough to share my life with someone. She’s ninety now. We’ve had a lot of time together. We have seven grandchildren. Eight great-grandchildren. But there are just so many things I can’t do anymore. I have the money. I have the time. Just not the ability. Whenever I walk, everything hurts. I enjoy sitting here in the park. I think about all the friends that I’ve lost. People come talk to me. Time passes by. But I’m ready. I’m not scared of it. I’d like my soul to go to wherever the souls go.” (Barcelona, Spain)
Women on twitter are sharing weird things theyve seen in bathrooms at guys houses and im fucking screaming why are men like this
ONE OF THEM HAD A GARDEN HOSE INSTEAD OF A SHOWERHEAD BYE
Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each…
The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers; “Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.”
The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.
They never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!
Now you have a better understanding of how the cryptocurrency market works.
“The biggest insurance company in Australia collapsed in 2001, and there was a royal commission to find out the cause. At the time I was working as a journalist. I’d been getting the itch to write a book, so I decided that I’d become an expert on the subject. Kind of a weird thing to choose, but I wanted to bang a peg in the ground about something. When the book was published, I went to visit the main prosecutor and I noticed a copy sitting on her desk. That made me feel like I’d created something of value. The book was a bit like taking a leak in a dark suit. Not many people noticed, but it left a warm feeling.”
(Sydney, Australia)
Keep seeing some posts circulating about popular websites and wanted to make a version for apps.
These are apps I’m way too addicted to. Am I missing any?
P.S. I’m on an iPhone so these are iPhone apps, but probably have an Android version too.
Edit: Sorry for all the time I’ve taken away from your life
You’re welcome 😉
“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”
not even risking that shit
scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button.
Last comment same thing. Sorry to the next person who sees this. I just can’t risk it. I have things I need to do before my life becomes hell. Lol
man i fucking hate yall who tf put this up knowing damn well we all gonna reblog it im heated im really sick af bout this
I don’t play that shit lol sorry
WHyyyy
Sorry everyone
If only if only the woodpecker sighs the bark on the tree was as soft as the sky why the wolf waits below hungry and lonely he cries to the moon if only if only
Shiddd
this post followed me to Facebook and im sooo annoyed!
It’s been a MINUTE since I’ve seen Madame Zeroni, fr fr
I HATE TUMBLR FKKKK SAKES
LMAOOOO
Not tryna fuck up any of my planetary Returns~
I reblogged this yesterday but idc, I ain’t playing games with Madame Zeroni or Mama Kitt
😂😂
Madame Zeroni ain’t for play play
Fuck it, hope she bless me
But what if a nigga don’t reblog this and they great great great grand kid finds a treasure chest?🤔
What year did this start? I’m always feels my like I have to reboot this
not risking shitttt
The fuck, guys? I don’t even know who she is bur damn I’ve been cursed before so I ain’t risking
The fuck you mean you don’t know who she is?!
she gets re-blogged on my dashboard at least once a week?
A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar.
The nurse sits down at the bar and says, “I’ll have a Bloody Mary!”
The doctor sits next to her and says, “Give me a rum and coke!”
The anti-vaxxer does nothing. She collapsed and died from polio.
Three men are walking through the woods when theyre suddenly surrounded and captured by cannibals. Theyre taken to the cannibal camp and are brought before their leader. "In order to go free," he says. "You must first go into the orchard and pick twelve of any fruit there." The three men do as theyre told and the first returns with twelve apples. (pt 1)
(pt.2) He goes before the leader, “Now, in order to go free,” he says. “You must put all twelve fruit up your asshole without making a single sound, otherwise you die.” The first man does as he is told, but on the fourth apple he grunts, so he is killed and eaten. The second man returns with twelve grapes and the cannibal leaders tells him the same thing. On the eleventh grape, the man laughs. He is killed and eaten.
In the afterlife, the ghost of the first meets the ghost of the second. He asks, “You had only one grape left! Why did you laugh?” The second man smiles, “I saw the third coming back with pineapples.”
I don’t have a train of thought I have seven trains on 4 tracks that narrowly avoid each other when the paths cross and all the conductors are screaming
One day in the future, Donald Trump has a heart-attack and dies.
i’m dying that robert downey jr posted this on his official facebook 😂😂😂
credit: hisduckling on youtube
