someone, looking at my very obvious self harm scars: woah where did you get those!

me:

having a permanent full time job is you thinking to yourself “so this is really the rest of my life huh” as you come home every single day before using your 4 hours of recreational activity to do nothing and then going to bed

I’m tired of temporary happiness. I’m tired of temporary pleasure. I’m tired of temporary people. I’m tired of temporary conversations and connections.

me: *is completely alone, has no actual friends, is irrelevant to everyone in general* minimalism

me: (doesn’t directly tell anyone that i am struggling)

me: kinda interesting how nobody is ever there when i need them ://

…I almost killed myself

I put on my sunglasses, to hide my swollen eyes, over my tears. I cried all my makeup off. Went inside to have a milkshake. I don’t know why. I wanted something to drink as I figured out what I would do. I got a soda and a milkshake. Medium. The cashier looked at me and with a line around the corner of the counter he rushed away from the counter “Hold on “ he yelled to a coworker.

I filled my soda and went back and saw him looking all over. I go up and he gets close and says “I made it a large”.

That was seriously enough for me not to do it. His kindness. Someone went out of their way and as I went back in my car to cry I realized I could muster through a few other days. A few more weeks. Then I came down from that panicky high of anxiety, depression, and pain. I finished my shake. And it was enough time to let me feel better. I… I’m alive. I’ll make it through.

Try and be nice today. Tomorrow. Something as much as a smile. It helped so much.

Thank you man at McDonalds.

The milkshake saved my life

I hope you all can read this and remember to be kind

The smallest of gestures can save a life. My Mum answered her phone when I called and I am alive today because of that.

I’m glad you’re here.

It’s a phone call, a milkshake, a friend.

I feel like I shouldn’t keep reblogging this but when I do more people see what kindness can do…. I don’t know. Love everyone as yourself.

Nah, keep rebloging it. It gives hope.

walked sobbing around a city once wearing a summer dress in mid-september thunder and rain. basically dragged myself into LUSH as the smell of the store always made me smile. the shop was empty and dead due to the weather, just this blonde short woman behind the counter who smiled at me. i stared at her feet and asked ‘do you have anything for people who are scared a lot?’ (i was so out of it i had no clue). she showed me two bath bombs, one pink and one blue, and said both were good - i chose the pink, paid for it and left. i then sat at a bus stop clutching the LUSH bag in one arm and my prescription meds in the other - i’d lied and ordered a refill so i could just drift away with sleeping pills. when the bus arrived and i was out of the rain, i decided to have another look at my bath bomb, smell it and what not. opened my bag and saw she’d put the blue one in there for me as well and written on the receipt ‘feel better soon :) hope you like x’. 

no one had ever been so selflessly kind to me before, i didn’t know what to do with it except hang around long enough to use the other bath bomb. 

Actually I’m going to reblog this again because of the truth of the inverse: think of any time you have been casually cruel or petty to someone for humor or because you weren’t in a great mood. 

The power of small gestures goes both ways.

also that your lunch tastes good, you find twenty dollars on the ground, and that thing coming up that you were dreading turns out not so bad

Passing this good karma

I reblogged this 3 days ago and my skin got clear and I got a message from a guy who refers to me as queen yesterday. Good karma vibes all around.

ARE U FUCKING KIDDING ME I REBLOGGED THIS YESTERDAY AND MY SKIN IS CLEAR AS F NOW

— and I hope it hurts you (via alexfromtarget)

Do any of y'all get so lonely because all you want to do is find love and happiness but you feel like a burden to everyone you meet and then anyone who shows you the slightest bit of interest you obsess over until it pushes them away? Yeah same.

— Unsent text messages which were only for you. #5

i told someone i thought gave a shit that im having suicidal thoughts, that im having a miserable night, that its so fucked up and depression is at it’s peak right now. and i get a fucking seen.

that why i dont fucking open up, because this happens every single damn time

what i think is really sexy is when girls are very blunt about not knowing things…girls who say “i don’t know what that means” or “i don’t understand” or “what are you talking about” that’s hot

Instagram is depressing. I prefer tumblr where everyone is upfront about their misery and constant desire to die

Brain: You’re a horrible, worthless, garbage person, and your life is going nowhere but to hell.

Me: I don’t know what the fuck you expect me to do about that at 11PM, my dude.

Reblog this if you slept with my ex-wife Susan.

Trying to prove a point to my divorce lawyer.

like 98% of my problems would be solved if i stopped overthinking things and calmed the fuck down and stopped being such a panicky, anxious little shit

It’s weird when you realize the person you once told everything to now has no idea what’s going on in your life