Sincerely, a young woman sobbing in pain because her immune system is attacking her hips; a 19 year old who has worse joints than half of the 60 year olds she's met; a person trying to stop crying so she can please sleep.
Virgil: Can you believe it? I like both boys and girls, yet I’m still single!
Patton: Guess you’re just meant to be bi yourself
Ye olden days: “ we must never go in there, the fair folk may take us away from this world”
Millennials: *banging pots and pans together in the middle of a mushroom circle during a full moon on an equinox * “IT WOULD BE A SHAME IF SOMETHING ABUCTED ME RIGHT ABOUT NOW!”
How the fuck do people still fall for pyramid schemes just don’t open the fucking sarcophagus and the mummy can’t hypnotize you
my dad took me to see sharkboy and lavagirl when it came out and it was my first 3D movie and i was so amazed. when i got home i said “dad i wanna draw 3D pictures!” and he laughed in that parent way that means “haha okay you do that kid. you can’t really do that but okay.”
i came back half an hour later with drawings i had traced over slightly offset with red marker, then offset in the other direction with blue and gave him the 3D glasses “daddy look i did it!” “…well. you did. you sure did.” which translates to “how the fuc k”
people who hate chatty cats are the worst like. your small friend is singing a song just for you! they have things to say! listen to them
Not only that, but cats basically meow JUST for your benefit! They don’t talk to other cats with meowing- really only kittens, because kittens are still learning how to speak cat. But cats have realized you can’t speak cat, but you DO respond to meowing, so they accommodate you!! They want to talk to you so much that these little creatures who aren’t really about doing work if they don’t have to are willing to work to talk to you!! That’s amazing!!
I train all my cats to be chatty and yesterday I saw one of them on the stairs and I said “hey Nala, what’s up” and she meowed super quietly so I said “sorry, can you enunciate” and swear to god she looked at me and yell meowed for a full half a minute
if you are asexual then you are not heterosexual
if you are aromantic then you are not heteroromantic
if you are not both heterosexual and heteroromantic, then you cannot be cishet
end of discussion
this hurts
Stuff is always overwhelming or underwhelming. You never hear about anything being just whelming.
hey uh you know who’s deserving of love?
uhh um. uh. you are.
you are uh yeah. you deserve that love ok?
ok cool thank you so much for reading
I. Love this.
Love it.
Oh my god
yes.
This is it, I found it, the funniest post on this entire godsforsaken website
The biggest indicator that life isn’t fair is remembering that all Japanese snow monkeys have to do is sit in hot springs and chill out. They don’t have essays. They don’t have politicians.
They have class hierarchy tho only the elite snow monkeys are allowed in the hot springs and the rest are forced to suffer the cold. They’re born into their class, and they die in the same class
I was wrong, the biggest indicator that life isn’t fair is that even fucking monkeys have class struggle
Change.org - Petition To Hire 1,000,000 People To Put Their Fingers In The Shoot Hole Of Peoples’ Guns So They Can’t Shoot Them
It’s still gonna shoot… And they’re gonna lose a finger
No. The finger blocks the bullet. We can do this
This is a gun we’re talking about. The projectile is fired using an explosion, not by compressed air of a toy gun or the elastic forces of a sling shot. People would be lucky if they only lost their finger.
The finger blocks it
The finger won’t block it - the shaft is only there for keeping the bullet straight, all the propulsion happens behind the bullet. The bullet would rip through the finger, not that many would actually fit without the victim being a child, and beyond.
The bullet would go forward a little and then hit the finger and stop it’s not that hard to understand
Why the dingleknockers would you even consider sticking your finger in the barrel of a loaded gun?? the amount of force propelling the bullet at that close of range would shatter the finger at the very least; this is a petition for 1,000,000 people to loose the use of their hands. If a bullet explodes the back of a persons skull when they shoot it in their mouth it sure as hell will explode a finger.
No the finger would stop it
I’m loving the idiocy of this post.
Ppl with brains: ummm finger go boom…
Others: no bullet stop. U no kno fisics >:V
no the finger would stop it
You guy who think the bullet would stop at the finger have never shot a gun and can volunteer to it their fingers in the barrel of my 9 mil and I’ll I’ll the trigger and see if it will stop the bullet. Dumdasses
the finger would stop it
not to get too deep on main but did anyone else have such deeply rooted issues with their self worth for so long that they thought as a kid/teen that their only redeeming feature was being “low maintenance” and now as an adult you give yourself guilt pangs asking for any more than the barest minimum in virtually any relationship because asking for things might negate your only good quality which is just “doesn’t ask for things”
stop fcken calling me out like this internet
i love humanity and our weird obsession with making drinking various liquids very hard to drink, for the fun of it
