what if when you went to hell you had to watch your a cinemasins-style video of every sin you committed during your life as part of your punishment

me: why didnt i get into heaven lmao???

god:

The older I get, the more I find heterosexual couples so…weird. It’s not that men and women are inherently different in irreconcilable ways, is that they’re socialized to believe they are, and it shows in how male/female couples interact. There is this awkward, unnecessary communication barrier between them based on their perceived gender differences. This obviously doesn’t apply to all heterosexual couples; I’m sure there are plenty with great communication and so on. But the large majority of the ones I’ve encountered in the past few years just don’t. It’s uncomfortable to watch.

They have all these weird notions about each other’s genders, and it’s so out of place for me. Like, women will let their husbands get away with not doing housework because “men are helpless” and men will talk about how their wives are “just hormonal” when they come to them with a legitimate grievance that needs to be talked about, and so on and so forth. Just a lot of back and forth that seems perfectly normal to them, but to an outsider who doesn’t experience this kind of heteronormative behavior often it’s like…

i’d like to share my hypothesis that this exact phenomenon is why straight writers struggle to write gay relationships (or project heteronormative constructs onto those relationships). they literally just don’t understand a relationship where one person doesn’t treat the other like they’re part of an alien species.

see. look at this. 10/10 shield use. covers whole body. no bullets for sam

what is this. weak. steve your legs are wide open. steve your feet are swiss cheese. steve your dick is gone it just got blown off. steve. steve. your dick is gone

Another reason why Sam!Cap is the most valid option

my therapist: so how are you doing today?

me:

Is your therapist washing you?

whats the zip code for the moon

wanna send her a letter

When ppl kno about ur depression and they randomly ask “are you okay? How are you doing?” In that special voice

Whats up u depressed bastard

WHEN YOU FIND A FIC

AND IT’S JUST MMM BOI

BC IT’S GOT GOOD GRAMMAR AND SPELLING

AND THE PLOT MAKES SENSE

AND THE CHARACTERS ARE WELL WRITTEN

AND YOU CAN HEAR THEM SAYING THE LINES IN YOUR HEAD

AND IT’S NOT A ONE SHOT

IT HAS CHAPTERS

AND JUST THE LITTLE THINGS IN IT THAT MAKES IT SUCH A DISTINCT STANDOUT

YOU KNOW WHAT I FUCKING MEAN

@sad-af1121 I doooo

No

NO

NOOOOOOOO

Gary’s Sex Tips #1002

If she calls out her ex boyfriend’s name in bed go to his house and kiss him. See what the dick about! See what all the fuss is about!

no one talk to me today i diagnosed myself with female hysteria

YouTuber au, once more! This time with Virgil

(Rip quality)

Full name: Virgil Wood

Username: VintageVirgil

Virgil is a pretty well know gamer, seeing everyone thinks his edgyness is adorable and innocent ( but not as innocent as Patton). He has four million subscribers, and uploads three times a weak. Though it is a running joke in his fanbase that he uploads super inconsistently. Before he started working on YouTube full time, he worked as a waiter at a restaurant and he. Freaking. hated. It.

So when he quit he went to go live with his brother Emile, who was fine with it and just wanted him to be happy. There, in His brothers apartment, is where the channel VintageVirgil was created. He quickly grew a fanbase, people thought his sarcasm and jokes were hilarious. So when he got a million subscribers he moved into a new apartment along with his best freind; Logan. Also known as Loganberries.

fellas is it gay to stare at an escaped convict for fifteen minutes straight during an order meeting

Remus: Sirius passed a note to me saying ‘your adorable’ and I wrote back ‘no, YOU’RE adorable’.

Lily: and?

Remus: we’re dating. So far we’ve been on six dates and all I had to do was correct a mistake but I like him so I’m not going to complain.

Liking harry potter doesn’t make you a nerd, however blogging about it at 3am every night five years in a row does

this just in nothing jkr wrote or says is canon james and lily are alive and uncle moony and padfoot are married and peter never betrayed them and the marauders are still In Business everybody is alive and happy

So, I just came back on tumblr and my dash is literally, actually dead. So maybe reblog if you post any of the following and I will probably definitely follow you.

Big Dick Energy™

Least

5. Peter

4. James

3. Sirius

2. Remus

1. Lily

Most

VALID

harry and ron prank calling phone sex lines but laughing too hard to actually say anything was cut from the story because it wasnt relevant to harry’s hero’s journey but i can assure you it happened on multiple occasions

Me when the “next ‘chapter” button doesn’t appear anymore, and the last update from 2012

Person A: Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine?

Person B: …….what?

Person A: Because you are a Snack *winks*

Person C: