Just realized that the reason I love making friends on tumblr is because it’s exactly how you make friends on the playground as a six year old. No, I don’t know their name but they love mermaids too and built this awesome sand castle. No, I don’t know their age but their imaginary cheetah is friends with mine. You like this show? You like this character?? You can sing the theme song really loud??? Here is a flower crown. Here is a juice box. You can share my time and I might never see you again but part of you stays in my soul forever. In my mind we’re still on the swing set and the sky is blue and nothing will ever be wrong again.

So I binged the entirety of How To Build a Sex Room last night and this one scene just cracked me up

The designer's at a western leather/tack store looking for supplies to make a rustic-style sex swing and turns to one of the store employees for advice, which initially goes about as amusingly as you would expect

So then she pulls up some pictures to give him an idea of what she needs

And he's Immediately like

The professional disgust, I'm living

Oh my gosh, I binged this entire show and I fucking died when this happened. She's amazing and I absolutely LOVED the show!

You really have to give the architect a 5 star thumbs up for his vision in building this place …

the town’s name is dixon

the longer you look at it the funnier it gets

Dude, this is the city I was born in. I know exactly which building that is, I HAVE BEEN TO THIS BUILDING, I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT IT WOULD LOOK LIKE FROM ABOVE

Reminders I need sometimes:

Practical tip for those dealing with wildfire smoke now: you can make a very effective air filter for a reasonable amount of money using a box fan & one of those filters meant for your furnace.

Also, I've managed to pick up 2 of the box fans for very cheap/free from yard sales. Make sure you get a filter rated for wildfire smoke, I think this one cost about $20.

These make a huge difference in the indoor air quality.

Posting again because of the fire situation up in Canada and resulting smoke. If you're dealing with wildfire smoke, these are surprisingly effective and relatively cheap.

Just tape the filter to the fan, making sure the air can't sneak around the edges. I used painter's tape, but I'm sure duct tape or similar would work just as well.

once again

Jfc

"I think we should see the fear of gays, drag queens, etc. as part of the same thing as defunding libraries, increasing cops, anti-homelessness, true crime—it's all about demonizing all public space and culture.

It is much easier to control people when they are lonely, isolated, and do not experience anything outside of individualized, corporate-controlled spheres of influence.

It's a self-feeding system. The less you are exposed to the diversity of experience inherent to public spaces, the more you want to replicate the tightly-controlled world you inhabit. The more scared you become. Thus more willing to support what replicates your privatized world." -P.E. Moskowitz

Reblog to put one of these in your mutuals’ pocket when they’re not looking

One 0f the greatest and hardest dance scenes ever recorded......

One 0f the

greatest and hardest dance scenes

ever recorded……

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

Cab Calloway and the Nicholas brothers! I don't think I've ever seen the colorized version of this before!

I haven't seen it in color either! It's a fantastic dance scene!!

@peripapaya

I didn't know this had a colorized version! They were amazing!!

I’m know I’m not the first person to say this, but any newbies on tumblr really need to understand how different this is from a lot of other social media. Particularly tiktok.

I just saw a creator on tiktok reminding followers that it’s actually a problem when someone goes back to the earliest post and watches all the posts chronologically, liking and commenting along the way. The stupid app recognizes it as spam or something and then kinda puts a halt on their account? Literally punishing people for positive engagement?? 🥴🤦‍♀️

I’ve already heard people saying years back how they don’t want to be “creepy” and go through a persons blog, liking and reblogging tons of stuff. But think how many more people are going to be worried about it now, thinking they might do actual damage! Most people, especially younger people, are so used to the way tiktok works now. So please, do not ever worry about this on here. Just remember-

You will never do any harm if you go on a like and reblog fest through someone’s tumblr blog! The only risk you’re taking is to make the blog owner weep for joy!! 😭🤣

This website literally passes around posts that are so old, the newest comments are celebrating things like “Happy 10th anniversary to this post!” sometimes.

The worst that usually happens is a creator going “wait, what, HOW did you find that 7 year old post that had no tags buried in the depths of my blog?”, very few people actually get mad about it (and from what I’ve seen, the people who do are all entirely immigrants from socmed sites like TT where they have entirely different cultures about it.)

Tumblr itself is based around longevity in many ways.  So, just have at it.  Have fun.  If you like that post 12,000 pages deep on my blog, GO FOR IT.  That’s what this website is all about

I love it when I can tell a person just found a new Blorbo, because they are liking every single pic I ever did of that particular guy ever!

not to be problematic but i literally do not give a shit about age gaps when dating vampires. they thirst for your blood. "but it's predatory!!!!" yeah. it is. "they're preying on you!!!" they're vampires. they do that. "it's a power imbalance!!!!!!" what part of vampires are you not getting

they eat people and can turn into bats and crawl around on walls, lizard fashion, and can hypnotize you with your eyes. a) the age gap is not the creepy part and b) the creep factor is kinda the appeal

they don’t age. that’s part of the horror of it actually. would you accept eternal life, if you can never progress? can never grow or change? you’ll live forever, eternal youth, but frozen exactly as you are now. you will never become the person you’re meant to be. you are trapped in the mind of a 17-year-old forever. also ‘theoretically old if you disregard the fact that he’s a vampire’ doesn’t even make the top 20 worst things about edward cullen list. girl he’s mormon. prioritize

This is gold!!! @hollowboobtheory especially the last 3 sentences!

Please Reblog is Your Blog is Safe for Non-Binary People.

If my mutuals can’t rb this then we can’t be mutuals

Of course, I’ll always support people trying to be as comfortable in their own skin as possible^^

FOLKS, PLEASE…DO YOUSELVES A BIG BIG FAVOR AND STOP USING TURBOTAX!  IT IS USELESS NOW!!!

THE IRS website will let you fill out and file your return THERE ON THE IRS SITE.  You pay like $12 for the actual electronic filing process, and THAT’s IT!

Unless you have tremendous amounts of Schedule D stock shit, TurboTax is NOTHING BUT A RIPOFF!!!

The IRS website is EXCELLENT.  They allow you to look up your past returns, and have every bit of information you MIGHT POSSIBLY NEED!

FUCK TURBOTAX!

LIBERATE YOURSELF FROM IT!!!!!!!

Actually, with Free File it’s FREE

No $12 fee

That’s the point of free

If you make less than an income threshold you get to file for FREE using various softwares that are REQUIRED to be and stay free or they lose the license to work with the IRS as part of the Free File program

If you make more than that threshold you can file for FREE using the Free File Fillable Forms where you type in numbers and click “do the math” and the website does all your math for you

Also fuck turbotax, I’m not even allowed to use it because it’s inaccurate enough that I’d get fired since Congress mandated all IRS employees’ taxes need to be PERFECT as a condition of employment

Here’s a list of free tax filing services, straight from the IRS website:

It tells you how much their income threshold is and if they’ll free file for you at the state level.

DO NOT PAY TO FILE YOUR TAXES IF YOU DO NOT HAVE TO.

So I did Free File yesterday, and I don’t think people realize how broad the eligibility is - it goes all the way up to  $41,000 or less a year in adjusted gross income. (There are also even more generous eligibility standards for seniors and veterans, so you should check those out if you qualify). Odds are pretty good that you are among the 42% of Americans who fit into that bucket.

So screw the predatory TurboTaxes of the world and save yourself a couple hundred bucks a year.

Wish I would’ve known about this last week before I filed my taxes 🙃

Well....it's too late for me this year but for anyone who this will help!

How does anyone hate kids they are so funny I sold tickets to incredibles to this little girl and her mom and she’s like mom are we sitting next to each other and the moms like ya and the kid screamed YES so loud it broke my ears

The other day I was bringing an older gentleman up the hill in a golf cart and we drove past this huge YMCA group of kids like 100 kids and driving past the first chunk like 10 of them yelled out “let me on” in unison and then since I’m driving so slowly to be safe, halfway in some kid leaned up and said “do you play fortnite” and I told him I played a little and he just pointed and shouted “THIS GUY PLAYS FORTNITE” and then like 20 kids started talking to me all at once about fortnite

A kid asked me if I lived in the ambulance. I said yes.

The hero we deserve

When I was on register at Kohl’s a little girl came through with her grandma and she was so very excited to tell me the meaning of her name (I think it was like warrior of god) and she begged her grandma for her phone so she could google to find out what my name means too

i wear two spinner rings on one finger and one time at my last job a young girl (probably 6-8) said “your ring is very pretty” and when i showed her it was two rings she GASPED and said “does that mean you’re marrying two people?!”

I have this necklace with a mermaid on it that I wear to work a lot and I got asked by a kid if it gave me magic powers. I leaned in real close and told her in a low voice it gave me magical girl powers but it was a secret. She got this real serious look on her face and said to her mom “that lady has superpowers, don’t tell anyone or the government will take her away”.

The other day i had to give a speech at my school despite my horrific fear of public speaking and afterwards i had kid come up to me and say well done to me. It was so cute.

god I love tiny kids

there was a kid in one of our science camps and he spent the whole week in a lab coat and goggles screaming “CHEMICALS” at the top of his lungs. he wouldn’t even tell us his name for the first two days just screamed CHEMICALS instead.

I was watching these kids at church today and one of them screamed and threw a toy car into the wall and it broke and the other one looked over calmly and said “does your insurance cover that?”

I was taking the drink order for a family at work and I asked their kid what he wanted to drink and he just looked at me with a completely deadpan expression and said “vodka” and me and the parents just fucking lost it

kid I used to babysit asked why my lips were different (she was two), and when I told her that it was because I was wearing lipstick, she yelled, “MAYA, I WANT LIPITZ.”

I work in a school and every time I draw anything on the board (I am a terrible artist and usually resort to stick men), the kids will all go ‘I love your picture, that’s a great drawing Miss’. So blindly supportive.

One time my younger brother ordered a “non-alcoholic fanta” at a hotel bar and the bartender lost his shit and I was never the same man

When I was student teaching, I was taking my fourth graders back from lunch and noticed one little girl looking longingly at the playground, where the younger kids were having recess. She heaved a big sigh and said, “I used to be that free.”

So my cousin’s daughter was staying with us for a while, she was like 4 or 5 at the time. For context, I have missing teeth that were hidden w/ a retainer. I didn’t have it in one day ,and I guess she hadn’t seen me without it bc this blessed child, as I was speaking, says, “Are your teeth falling out?” Whiplash to everyone in the room.

ITS MARCH YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

Oh look, it’s campus-police officer Lt. John Pike who pepper-sprayed peaceful protesters at University of California Davis.

And UCD reportedly payed $175,000 for this image to not appear when you search it on google:

Darn shame if this circulated…

So you mean to tell me that just by reblogging this I’m ruining an organizations plan, wasting them money, and uncovering some shitbag humans awful behaviour?

T R I P L E K I L L

Imagine if they paid THAT much money, yet it still circulated on the internet.

Extremely unfortunate we wouldn’t want that to happen

This guy raised an abandoned moose calf with his Horses, and believe it or not, he has trained it for lumber removal and other hauling tasks. Given the 2,000 pounds of robust muscle, and the splayed, grippy hooves, he claims it is the best work animal he has. He says the secret to keeping the moose around is a sweet salt lick, although, during the rut he disappears for a couple of weeks, but always comes home…. Impressive !! MINNESOTA CLYDESDALE

why are moose so terrifyingly large

Because they’re pretty much legit surviving Ice Age megafauna and almost everything was bigger back then

his moose leaves for a few weeks to Fuck

if you would like to try and stop the moose leaving for a few weeks to Fuck you are welcome to try, buddy

This the best thing I've seen in weeks!!

Reblog if you think it’s okay to platonically say “I Love You” to your friends

Slams the reblog button so damn fast

Like how bout you mind your business okay

I can only hope that you hit a tree instead of a person.

as long as you’re on the road with me, putting my life in danger, it sure as hell IS my business. don’t look at your fucking phone while your car is moving. you’re going to kill someone.

I did a report on actual studies of this for college.  It is part of a category of behaviors referred to as “distracted driving,” a category which includes driving while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

The reason drunk driving is bad is you have inhibited judgment and a depressed nerve response.  If you are drunk driving, and there’s something you need to avoid or react to, you are more likely to make bad reactive decisions, and make them much slower than a sober person would.  (I do not recall offhand the name for the type of distraction this represents neurologically.)

Looking at your phone is something called a COGNITIVE distraction, which means your focus, in that moment, is entirely on a separate task, because contrary to popular belief, “multitasking” is not a thing that actually exists neurologically.  It is possible to switch between multiple tasks in such a way that you make progress towards both at nearly the same time, but within the same INSTANT, your brain CANNOT, by design, perform two cognitive tasks at the same time without greatly impairing your performance at both of them.  Even talking on the phone while driving, keeping your eyes fully on the road at all times, is a cognitive distraction that makes it much harder for you to pay attention to your driving and to the people around you, and even people who claimed to be proficient multitaskers, when tested, proved to be highly prone to accidents while talking on the phone AND far less effective at responding to the conversations they were having, because it is not possible for the human brain to do both things at the same time.  Talking on the phone while driving was found to be approximately as bad as drunk driving.

But it gets worse.  

If you are traveling at highway speeds, and you look down at your phone for just six seconds, you will have traveled roughly the distance of an American football field while your eyes were completely away from the road.

This, obviously, is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS.

A person under the influence of alcohol will have a DELAYED reaction.  A person whose eyes are not on the road because they are texting will have NO reaction.  In the event of an accident, this means full speed collision head on with no actions taken to mitigate the damage.

What every study ever done on the subject showed, unambiguously and by a CLEAR margin, was that TEXTING WHILE DRIVING IS SIGNIFICANTLY MORE DANGEROUS TO YOURSELF AND OTHER MOTORISTS THAN DRUNK DRIVING. You are both more likely to be INVOLVED in an accident and less likely to REACT to it in time to save your life and the lives of other people on the road.

Drunk driving is punished HEAVILY by law, and rightly so, because it is a reckless endangerment of public safety.

If you text while driving or check facebook while driving or do anything else on your phone instead of keeping your eyes on the road, YOU ARE MORE DANGEROUS TO YOURSELF AND OTHER DRIVERS THAN A PERSON WHO IS SEVERELY DRUNK, YOU ARE A THREAT TO PUBLIC SAFETY AND YOU SHOULD BE STOPPED.  Other people on the road have every right to hate you for it and to hope someday the law catches up on this issue.

If you’re driving on the same road as me, YOU TEXTING IS MY FUCKING BUSINESS, because you are putting MY LIFE in danger.

If you want to text while in transit, you shouldn’t be in the driver’s seat.

Friendly reminder:

DON’T BE DOING ANYTHING ELSE BESIDES DRIVING WHEN YOU ARE DRIVING.

NO “IF” OR “BUT” ABOUT IT.

i have no game when it comes to flirting, i just say raw unfiltered unhinged thoughts and hope something sticks