Yeah sorry man I know I was the projected face trapped in your cursed ring for a while. I hope you didn't take any of that advice I gave you about how to divvy up your estate I didn't know what the fuck I was talking about
Standing at the top of the stair well wearing my bunk mates clothes to scare him at the abandoned factory sleepover after our scary "Clone vat" movie watch party but I forgot he put a curse on his clothing to act like puppies when ever they see him so they rip themselves off my body and bound down the stairs to greet him and start barking and im just naked at the top of the stairs and afraiud and embarased and but instead of being angry he steps up to me and stwrts to. .. .... we start kissinf
Anonymous asked:
favourite orientalist grifter? blavatsky's obvious but i want to read some real losers
Oh fuck that's hard uhhhh
William Walker Atkinson is up there for me. Dude knew basically nothing about Hinduism or yogic practices but wrote under the name "Yogi Ramachakra" for a while.
Imagine an Indian guy moving to LA and writing religious texts under the pen name "The Great Wizard NewYorkBurger" we would go nuts for that guy.
Alright then. If you have dead horny weirdos to read books about:
Whose the deadest, whose the horniest, and whose the most weird?
Deadest: Agrippa. The inquisition basically tortured him to death.
Horniest: It's Crowley like c'mon.
Weirdest: Whatever Strieber was on.
I would like to share with you all some absolutely raw advice my mom gave me about my anxiety today
Got inspired by the multitude of "transsexual Seinfeld" posts I saw
[ID: several drawings of Seinfeld characters. The logo says Trans Seinfeld. Kramer holds up a chest binder and says, "A bra is for ladies. This is the bro." George points at his balding head and says "Look at my head! Did estrogen do this to you?" Elaine looks at someone offscreen and says, "He's supposed to be some kind of chaser... But won't even look in my direction!" Jerry has surprise action lines and holds up his hands. He says, "Can you believe it? She thought I was cis! Not that there's anything wrong with that." /end]
Anonymous asked:
When I was little I LOVED the taste of blues clues kids toothpaste. I'd just straight up eat it. My mom thought this was unhealthy and would take away the toothpaste if she caught me eating it. Or threaten to switch to grown-up mint toothpaste (not as tasty). I would crouch behind the open bathroom door slowly squeezing out blues clues kids toothpaste onto my hands and eating it as quietly as possible
this gave me such a beautiful visual i had to draw it. the true human experience of eating a little goopy in the dark
Undertale fans going straight to sans after chapter 2 to try to see Papyrus
Mad because you don't have bird vision?
Seethe . You will never b them
I STEPPED OUTSIDE OF THE FRONT DOOR OF MY OWN HOME ONLY TO FIND THE DEER THAT TRIED TO KICK MY ASS LAST YEAR STANDING RIGHT THERE IN MY FRONT YARD. BOLD AS BRASS.
AM I NOT SAFE ANYWHERE ANYMORE
for those of you who were not here last year: this deer is the most obnoxious, unnatural red-orange color I’ve ever seen, only appears when it’s raining, and once chased me a quarter mile through the woods. her name is Hot Cheeto Hatred and she is my nemesis
dude, i think that’s a fairy
How did you get into Tumblr? It's a weird place that not many people use.
And how/why is Blue not here yet, he'd fit right in with the nerds having niche discussions about topics no one else cares about (/s)
tumblr has hundreds of millions of users, it only feels sparsely populated because the dash is entirely self-curated and most of us don't talk to each other except to dunk on the imaginary strawmen we extrapolate are behind each other's keyboards that conveniently hold a beautifully arranged cornucopia of all the opinions we dislike
Anyway I use tumblr because it's extremely curatable and pretty good at letting me post super-enormous comic pages without compressing them out the ass or charging me for a premium hosting service, sometimes when I think too hard about a story I like to immerse myself in a nice hot bath of five million fanart and multiparagraph analysis posts, I like the askbox system as an extremely manageable way of handling fan interactions, and seeing you guys panic in the tags sustains me more than food or water.
Blue, however, is not on tumblr, because we've discussed this and concluded that he would get way too mad. People assume that, of the two of us, Blue is level-headed and polite while I am the firebrand, when in actuality I am at a constant simmer of about 10-25% Maximum Riled-ness while Blue can spike up from a comfortable 0% to a full 100% just by seeing a display of poor reading comprehension. I've been microdosing on rage my whole life so I've built up a tolerance for even the most egregious of bullshit, but Blue has Normal Person levels of "wait, that's stupid!" and reacts accordingly. Poor guy doesn't have the constitution for this place.
new thing i learned just now: in like 400 AD there was a monk named simeon stylites who used to live in a one room cell with a window but too many people kept bugging him for religious advice, so he climbed to the top of a pillar and shackled himself to it until he died 37 years later.
this became a cool new trend to the point where there were enough pillar monks of varying viewpoints that they would scream at each other all day
Hey. Gentiles. Listen up for a sec.
When September and October are nearing and you’re planning an event: google “Rosh Hashanah *year*” and *Yom Kippur *year*” and then, and I cannot stress this enough, don’t plan your event on those days. In fact, don’t plan any events starting sundown the night before. Those are the three most important days of the Jewish calendar, and, once again, I cannot stress enough how much this little bit of forethought and kindness will make every Jew you know cry tears of joy.
in 2023, the night before Rosh Hashanah is Thursday evening, September 14.
Rosh Hashanah ends Sunday evening, September 17.
in 2023, the night before Yom Kippur is Saturday evening, September 23.
Yom Kippur ends Monday evening, September 25.
America really is irredeemably evil. This article in the new york times ADMITS that prisons are an industry in America, yet tries to convince its readers to empathize with the people enforcing US law in these prisons, with NO empathy for the people incarcerated there
Literally “things were good until the Racism Factory shut down”
your wholeass economy should not be built on incarceration, what the fucking fuck
Over the years, the inmate population has counted toward political representation, and factored into the amount of money the town received from federal pandemic relief funds and state money to fix roads.
Boy, that sounds familiar. The prisoners don’t get to vote, they don’t get to use the city infrastructure, but the people holding them prisoner (and forcing labor from them) get to count them as citizens when it comes time to dole out representation and cash.
Given the prison population of that town is equal to its non-prison population, that means every one of those people has been getting double the political representation.
And lets not forget that this is government spending here. It’s a conservative town. Conservatives loathe the idea of handouts from the government except when its their own hands that are out. Even with the private prisons its just government funding with extra steps.
They’ve been on the prison town dole for more than half a century but have the gall to claim this is “political revenge from Gavin Newsom” for their community being right-leaning.
We all love urban fantasy but we have to contend with the fact that if monsters were real, some of them would be normies. Your werewolf boyfriend posts on LinkedIn. The tentacled horror you've been thirsting after is a Disney adult.
You did it, you made unimaginable horror within man-made comprehension.
LAPD detonated 5000 lbs of fireworks in the middle of a residential area, injuring at least 17 people and causing $900 million in various damages in a low-income, majority-POC neighborhood.
They then continue to pursue caging the person whose fireworks they stole while news media misreports to cover for police incompetency and destruction.
It took TWO YEARS to get the names of those involved with this incident. There are people still protesting, still living in hotels, still with unfulfilled claims to the city from this shit