cerceos-deactivated20160308
Calvin and Hobbes - It’s July Already
[ID: Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes running with his hands in the air and his eyes wide, yelling: It’s July already! Oh no! Oh no! /end ID.]
[⭐] wolf 359 / who’s there? : “well, no. not really. it’s not really officer eiffel. we have no voice of our own. so we’re borrowing yours.”
I need people to understand…that if you believe in paying people a livable hourly wage…most hand-knitted clothing should cost hundreds of dollars
“My grandma could make that!” YOUR GRANDMA LOVES YOU ENOUGH TO SPEND A MONTH MAKING YOU A SWEATER FOR CHRISTMAS, I HAVE NO SUCH AFFECTION
Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022) dir. Ryan Coogler
Stop with the faces. You guys love Scooby as much as he do.
The thrilling sequel
POLYAM MYSTERY INC POLYAM MYSTERY INC POLYAM MYSTERY INC POLYAM MYST-
Anyone else want a very butch girlfriend who’ll protect you like a Fabergé egg?
jointphotographicexportsgroup
reblog for the universe to send you a very butch girlfriend who’ll protect you like a Fabergé egg
this is the funniest fucking thing, after you kinda murdered your professor you become friends and go to jcpenny for a friendship photoshoot
alittlemothboy
that is some next level knot magic.
it isn’t though!!! it’s because most relationships aren’t worth the effort. The “sweater curse” is actually most commonly called the “BOYFRIEND sweater curse.” Which=heteronormative, but the curse most often falls on a woman knitting a sweater for a boyfriend. Before she finishes the sweater, they break up - pop culture would have you believe it’s because the boyfriend freaks out do to the weirdness/clinginess of having a sweater made for you, but I think knitters are wiser than that.
It’s because after spending serious £££ on materials, and then HUNDREDS OF HOURS OF LABOR on the creation of the item, with every stitch a prayer of totally focused intent, creating a large display of technical skill - it is then gifted to a non-knitter who does NOT APPRECIATE the work/effort/skill/cost/TIME it took to make it, and in fact thinks you’re a bit weird and making a big deal out of a piece of clothing, and after they go “oh thanks” and shove your creation in the cupboard next to a sweater they got for £15 at an M&S sale, then they never wear your sweater because it’s too tight because when you asked them how their favorite sweaters usually fit they said “I ‘unno” and when you measured them for the fifth time and asked, rather tersely, if they had enough room in the chest, they said “I guess,” and then if pressed they say they don’t really like the sweater design, but then you point out that they were supposed to participate in helping you design it and they say they don’t really care about how things look, and when you say that you tried to match it to their other clothes so how can they hate it, then they say that honestly their mother still buys all their clothes because they hate going shopping, and that they hate all their other clothes too, well. That’s when a sensible knitter goes “Fuck this shit. And you know what? Fuck this man.”
This is what happens when someone posts in a knitting forum “Attack of the sweater curse!” - this is the usual story. It has a rigid plot. It is as old as myth.
That’s when you look at the time you spent and realize, “I could LITERALLY have written the first draft of a novel instead of doing this.” That’s when you go “I could have taken that £200 and bought myself a new wardrobe.” That’s when you go “I could have taken all that intent, all that willpower, all that creative force, and laid down some fucking witchcraft, all right?” That’s when you go “I basically spent 100 hours straight thinking about this bastard while making something amazing for him, and I have no evidence that he ever spent 10 hours of his life thinking about me.”
And “I could spend this time and energy and money in making myself an enormous, intricate heirloom silk shawl with just a touch of cashmere, in elvish twists and leafy lace in all the colors of the night, shot through with subtly glittering stars, warm in winter and cool and summer and light as a lover’s kiss on the shoulders, suitable for draping over my arms at weddings or wrapping myself in to watch the sea, a lace-knotted promise to myself that I will keep for my entire life and gift to my favorite granddaughter when I die, and she will wear it to keep alive my memory - but instead I have this sweater, and this fuckboy.”
The sweater curse is a lesson that the universe gives to a knitter at an important point in their life. It is a gift.
Knitting a sweater for a husband or wife generally doesn’t call down the curse, because the relationship is meant to be stronger than 4-ply.
(Although I say this, but I’ve taken over 5 years to finish a pair of mittens for my husband, because he casually asked me to do something customized with the cables, and I still can’t get the math to work on the right hand.)
eartheld
this post is so much better with that commentary
Fuck yes.
Hey @elodieunderglass! How’re the mittens coming along?
It is 2020, we recently marked 9 years of marriage and no progress has been made
I was pretty sure I had a keeper when I married my husband - he was so appropriately impressed with my Estonian lace, crazy complicated, at least 25k beads wedding shawl. And then a year or two ago, I made him a super cool but also HELLA intricate cabled sweater in his favorite color. He doesn’t get excited about stuff ahead of time, but he dutifully let me measure him and check the fit, and as soon as it was on my blocking towel, he lost his mind with excitement. He wears it everywhere and proudly tells people his wife made it, and look, it’s got DNA on it!! He was so sad last spring because it got too warm to wear it. 🥲
Pictured: the sleeve of said sweater, the only thing Mr. Emi will let me put on the internet 😂
I had been married to my spouse for 2 years before I even contemplated making him a sweater. I had made him hats and scarves and ponchos, but no sweater because I didn’t want to get divorced.
But he loved everything I made him and showed off to his friends, so I had him pet some yarn and gave him a few options.
Readers, he LOVES that sweater. He takes such good care of it, tells every single person he neets that I made it, and confirmed the care instructions a bunch before washing it. So I made him another.
He now has three pullovers and a sweater vest. He is happy to try on pieces that have been safety pinned together and tells me where the fit is off. I am currently on month six of a cabled cardigan that I needed to redo for length, and he is so excited about it because it is exactly the color and pattern he wants.
Friends, get yourself a partner who will tell you their color, design, and fit preferences before you make them sweaters. It makes the entire endeavor worth it.
I have so many crochet things made by Wife and I love and participated with all of them. In fact, whenever they ask for my opinion, they roll their eyes a little and are like, you like everything I make. Because I do!!
The sweater they made me is my fave. I get compliments on it constantly and am so happy to tell people My Wife Made It.
I made him a rainbow fairisle jumper!! We can call the mittens officially quits!!!
Roommate went out of town once, asked me to look after her cat.
Night one she comes down meowing at me. I go check her food/water, they're full. Litter box empty. Make sure my roommate's door is still open and she's not locked out of her room or something. I try to pet her and she dodges me, offer her treats and she won't have it, try playing with her but she won't play, try just ignoring her and she won't stop following me around meowing at me.
So I call my roommate, concerned maybe she was sick or in pain and that's why she was being so insistent despite having all her needs met.
Roommate goes: "OH! She wants you to go to bed. Go upstairs to my room and just sit in my bed with her for a few minutes. She should curl up and get comfortable. Once shes laid down she usually lets me go back to what I'm doing she just can't seem to go to bed on her own"
Sure enough, I go sit on roommates bed and she just happily jumps up, curls up on the blanket, and purrs herself to sleep.
I like when cats try to give their humans healthy habits.
