Blame this guy named tony for this ok😭
i feel the need to reblog bc i just scrolled past this kind of post and my life is hell lol so hi
Sorryyyy 😬😐
Ouch
spicysb
I’m
gottasleepgottastudy
I wish I could like… download languages into my brain.
It’s called studying but the buffering speed is a bitch
I didn’t want to say this but uhh since the porn ban Tumblr seems to be more active??
young-rva
Lowkey, I don’t have to hide my phone in public with going through Tumblr now and that’s nice.
Weird times
My name is Dewey Denouement. My existence is secret, which suits me fine because my work is secret, too.
Rami Malek wins Best Actor for playing Freddie Mercury in Bohemian Rhapsody.
Congratulations to the cast and crew of Bohemian Rhapsody for their Golden Globe Win for Best Motion Picture - Drama!
Rami’s speech about Freddie Mercury after winning the Breakthrough Performance of the Year at the Palm Springs International Film Festival… (x)
Bilbo was declared dead while he was away in the Hobbit (and had to do a bunch of paperwork to get declared alive again) but there’s no indication he was formally declared dead after leaving the Shire, even though most people assumed he had died.
Therefore I posit: having a missing person declared dead in the Shire requires the consent of their next of kin. Whoever Bilbo’s next of kin was at the time of the Hobbit (possibly Otho? I’m not sure) had him declared dead at the first opportunity but Frodo refused to ever do it.
Frodo had anxious hobbit bureaucrats knocking on his door every couple of years like ‘Mr Baggins… blease… it’s been 10 years… he was eleventy-one… can we fill out his death certificate yet’ and Frodo was like ‘absolutely not’.
Early on he genuinely couldn’t bring himself too but after a while it was more that he enjoyed irritating the local magistrate’s office than anything else.
I raise you: the hobbitish bureaucracy has no means to re-declare someone dead. They had no precedent to declare someone who was once-dead dead again. They would need the Thain, the Mayor, and the Master of Buckland to agree to changing the statute, and since the Thain and the Master are too amused by the whole henclucking that they haven’t gotten round to it just yet.
I’m upping the stakes with: last time Bilbo was declared dead when he was, in fact, not dead, they removed the law stating that you can have someone declared dead without a body, so when Bilbo left (happily aware of this legal loophole and snickering) he could never become legally dead again.
I am loving the implication here that Bilbo can literally never die in the eyes of the law. He’d love that.
a hobbit parent telling their kids the story of Mad Baggins and being like “thanks to a loophole in hobbit law he’s technically still alive today”
a hobbit child misinterprets this and lies awake at night worrying that Mad Baggins is still out there and will appear in their room without warning
Here’s what Joe Tracz had to say about the Opera Flashback
You can literally make anything and anyone problematic if you try hard enough seriously give me people and things and I’ll make them all “problematic” right now.
I don’t even have to do this one because PETA did it first by insinuating domestication is inherently abusive.
The sky
Used to trick and mock anyone who asks “what’s up?” A bullying tactic.
roman-flair
Super Mario Bros.
Stereotypes Italians, enforces the narrative of women who need men to rescue them, and encourages violence against turtles.
samsjammaam
John Mulaney
He was over on the bench and he SAW what they did to Tyler and he did NOTHING.
Pokemon
Making your pets fight repeatedly is animal abuse.
all-my-fandoms-are-killing-me
OP
OP literally argued that dogs were problematic but go off I guess
Hot take:
Lemony Snicket is what happens when you’re in a Snape situation but aren’t inherently a dick
im only saying this once
the only acceptable jobs for spider-man
- broke high schooler
- broke college student
- freelance photographer
- high school teacher
- unpaid intern
- pizza delivery guy
- research assistant for doomed scientific project
- guy who stands on street and spins sign for quiznos
- being spider-man
and thats IT i dont want any of this “hes a genius tech ceo making millions” SHIT. Spider-man is BROKE and he missed rent this month and he has a tiny apartment and thats how its MEANT TO BE. he doesnt make money because he is our Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-man and not fucking Tony Stark.
wancemcwain
how about dog walker while in spiderman costume
jackcrutchies
you. you get it
im imagining “being spider-man” as his full-time gig and i just
he has a patreon. the description is just the words “I’m Spider-Man” and all he ever posts is specifically-requested selfies from people who want to be sure its really him. pinned to the top of the page is a picture from the top of the empire state building (not the observation deck, the real top) of his spider-gloved hand holding a bagel that is on fire, with 34th street in the background
Musicals as John Mulaney Quotes
- Heathers: “Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? Because it sounds like he sucks and I will totally kill that guy for you.”
- Next to Normal: “I was like, ‘Well here goes nothing. YOU EVER SEEN A GHOST?’ And my mom said, ‘Yes.’ Which is the best answer.”
- Fun Home: “I have a girlfriend now myself, which is weird because I’m probably gay based on the way I act and behave and have walked and talked for 28 years.”
- Dear Evan Hansen: “And then I said, ‘No.’ Y’know, like a liar.”
- The Producers: “I would assume that’s someone dressed as Hitler. I’m not gonna kill that guy. I’m not gonna kill an actor and ruin Indiana Jones 5 just ‘cause I don’t understand costumes.”
- Be More Chill: “I don’t like robots… thinkin’ of things.”
- High School Musical: “Every new song is about how tonight is the night, and how we only have tonight. That is such 19-year-old horseshit.”
- Mean Girls: “What’s a clique?” “It’s when a group of people hang out together.” “Oh, you mean like having friends?” “No, because these people make fun of other people.” “Oh, you mean like having friends?”
- Hamilton: “I learned to play his campaign song on the piano. It was ‘Don’t Stop’ by Fleetwood Mac… from Rumours, an album written by and for people cheating on each other. He let us know who he was right away.”
- RENT: “I am homeless, I am gay, I have AIDS, I’m new in town.”
- Avenue Q: “Yes, you heard me. An English major.”
- Starship: “You spend most of your day telling a robot that you’re not a robot. Think about that for two minutes and tell me you don’t wanna walk into the ocean.”
- 1776: “I was in Connecticut recently, doing white people stuff.” Alt: “I don’t remember that in Hamilton…”
