Don't Expect Posts

Gays not knowing strap means gun and straights not knowing strap means strap on has been the funniest miscommunication on the Internet so far

“Get the strap!”

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

This is still one of the top posts to come out of covid

Do ppl realize that Ebinizer Scrooge isn’t bad because he dislikes Christmas, he’s bad because he’s greedy and selfish and pays his employees poverty wages and has no concern whether other people live or die

OP your tags … warming myself with your delicious tea it’s too good not to share

dickens: scrooge hates christmas because it’s about being generous and spending time with others with no profit motive, and all he cares about is profit.

audience: wow, can’t believe that scrooge hates having fun.

dickens: literally every relationship he’s ever had has been ruined because he cared more about making money than about other people. 

audience: can’t believe a guy cut off his whole family because he doesn’t like tinsel.

dickens, growing more frustrated: he’s so obsessed with profit that he won’t even heat his own house if it costs him money! he complains about losing a single day of income from businesses being closed on christmas! CHRISTMAS IS A METAPHOR FOR BEING A DECENT PERSON!

audience: how can you hate cookies and presents, you scrooge?

ROUND ABOUT THE CAULDRON GO

IN THE POISONED ENTRAILS THROW

GRIND THE FLESH AND SPILL THE BLOOD

END MANKIND WITH FIRE AND FLOOD

WHEN YOU’RE DONE WITH MAGICK’S NEEDS

GIVE THE BIRBS SOME SUNFLOWER SEEDS

bro my own comfort character needs comfort

Beetlejuice (1988) dir. Tim Burton

My announcement to my followers upon starting a new hyperfixation

Avoid it like personal responsibility and empathy for others.

well I've been afraid of changing cause I've built my life around you but time makes you bolder even children get older and I'm getting older too

Naya Rivera as Santana Lopez in Glee 3.06 “Mash Off”

well I've been afraid of changing cause I've built my life around you but time makes you bolder even children get older and I'm getting older too

Someone: *insults fanfiction*

Me:

edward cullen would be utterly fucked for Zoom University. his only success in school came from reading his teachers' minds for the answers every time he was asked a question and he was distracted from staring at bella. good luck doing that when your professor is in a bathrobe 50 miles away you bastard

Me reading enemies to lovers fics in 2012

Me reading enemies to lovers fics in 2021

Plot twist. It’s the same ship.

Plot twist. It's the same fic.

good lord

YEAH I GOT NOTHING

i don’t understand a single sentence in this and i’m ok with that

I haven’t stopped saying “it’s called quantum jumping, babe”

I would genuinely like to know who to blame for making these children so disconnected from the concept of imagination that they think the simpler explanation for what they’re doing is that they’re projecting their consciousness into one of infinite realities where fictional characters are real.

Me: I love being out at night, I’m not scared of the dark!

tree: *exists, looking very vaguely like a person*

Me:

who scared him?? who