Whelp

via weheartit

me: wow the stars are beautiful tonight  gf: yeah they are me: you know who else is beautiful though?  gf: *blushes* who  me: luigi 

*crushes my emotions with my bare hands* as I was saying,

sage life advice from khloe kardashian

lmaoooo khloe is me af

khloe rich af and she cant use data?

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

I have been waiting for this post all my life.

They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.

Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”

A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.

So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?

My friend you’re not wrong About Homer’s wine-ey sea! Colours are a matter Of cultural contingency;

Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You’ve given short shrift.

The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold.

By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree

Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved

For only the emperor!

The word ‘purple’, for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century

.

Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long

Is almost magenta; More red than blue. The concept of purple is old, and yet new.

The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue

.

While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too.

But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.

IT GOT SO MUCH BETTER.

My reaction, only with coffee.

Hang on, need to send this to my literature prof

Why is this the type of humor I enjoy

who did this

sweet jesus, this is horrifying

FNA Sesame Street

I’m feeling an emotion idk what emotion it is tho

Laugh From Around The World In Messages.

From fb.

- Duck

when youtube restricts your videos

This bitch is so fucking funny

You know what’s the best part about being single?

I have never related to a person more in my entire life.

You know what’s the best part about being single?

I have never related to a person more in my entire life.

somehow I got 95/20 on an assignment

I hope they never fix it and leave it this way forever

reblog the Awesome Grade picture for awesome grades

Casting Jason Mamoa as Aquaman has been nothing short than absolutely genius.

Holy shit im dying right now..prob the best one

This actually probably is the best one hahahaha

a lot of my faves

You are the owner of a magic backpack; every morning you stick your hand in and it contains exactly what you need for the day. One morning it contains a gun.

but isnt this the plot of Dora the Explorer

Swiper ain’t swiping no more

Oh god no. I can’t do this shit again.

when youtube restricts your videos

This bitch is so fucking funny