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Stoner Cat

@my-cat-irony

I suffer from a perennial identity crisis and I love my cat more than I'll ever love anything else
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Reblog if you want a terrible, 3 sentence fan fiction in your ask, based on your url

THIS HAS OVER 40,000 NOTES AND WITHIN FIFTEEN MINUTES I FOUND THIS IN MY MESSAGES:

“and then i saw him walk across the room. he got very close to me and whispered “back that sass up”“

80,000 NOTES AND I GOT ONE!

“ He descended upon me, that pink archangel, with those pink and ripe nipples. “

12 minutes “Oh not. Not another fire bender!” I said to myself. But then he came up behind me and grabbed my ass. So he’s cool now I guess 288,250 notes

HALF AN HOUR AT MOST “Its okay,” he said leaning his walking stuck against the wall and removing the young man’s glasses “ let me frost your roll” matt the blind cinnamon roll blushes as his core softened for his new lover.

i need that

My url is pretty vanilla I doubt something will happen even

Woah thanks anon!!💞❤👀

I don’t even think that’ll happen to me in the next 9000 years

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kaz3313

Hope it happens, but my url is just a nickname

Edit- I love the one I got :>

Hit me.

Yessssss pleaseeeee

Hells yeah do it.

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I just finished watching YouTube original's "Impulse" and I'm actually blown by how responsibly they use the superpowers and how much repercussions they are stressing upon. This show is thrilling in every sense of the word. In this essay, I will

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sungso

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natswash

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what the fuck. theres not even a fucking joke here. its just the fucking alphabet. i was expecting some kind of fucking meme like “gun” or “john cena” or something like that but no its just the fucking alphabet. here. on tumblr.com. 26 users just fucking banded together to write the alphabet. what the fuck, man.

I think the update broke them, and almost everyone else.

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frogadier

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valdimire

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72 …..why not….making the best out of this sad situation

73… I got so angry at this post I had to reblog it and continue

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mukeafff

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109 - at this point lets just keep going, I wanna see if we can break this system

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badl4nder

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izzy2808

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rissi18

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155 …why are we doing this and how did we get this far

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tatianna-b

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ringnail

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squided

166 we will go on for as long as is necessary before tumblr fixes this

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splashtail

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eveiss

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platybussy

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Guys what do you think would happen if lars went through lion's mane?

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[to the tune of "I want to break free"]

I want to go home

I want to go home

I want to go home to my cat

Watch Netflix, get fat

I don't need you

I want to go home

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inritum

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

YOOOOOOO

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS. 

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT 

SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP

WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????

ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE

THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.

GUYS.

HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER

20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.

GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.

I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.

OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG

i want you to stay for one day and one nigh with me and give me sp much love i dont have to cry of lonliness tonight, every night

no bUT THE LAST TIME I DID THIS SHIT I WISHED MEETING MY IDOL AND IT WAS RIGHT BEFORE I FCKING GOT THE FCKING EMAIL SAYING I WAS GOING TO MEET TAYLOR OH MY GOD

Hoping for the best…

Literally praying right now XD

Hoping this is gonna work… :/

Fingers Crossed 👍✌️

Really hope this works…..

Wishing for the ideal bod

Wishing to pass my exams, and maybe a new friend?

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reblogged

Everyone thinks your super power is super intelligence, in reality, your power is lowering the IQ of those around you.

Anderson is that you

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.║\ ║▒\ put this on your blog ║▒▒\ ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ║░▒║ to show others ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ▓▓▓▓▓ [█▓] [█▓] you are gay [█▓]

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My demon under the bed must think there's an earthquake every 2 hours
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Everybody who reblogs this (yes everyone) will get a Valentine’s day card from me in their inbox on Valentine’s day and a letter about my favorite thing about your blog. 

Make sure to have your submit box open. If your name is in your description I will put it on the card if not I will put your url

Sometimes you come across angels.

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reblogged

AU where Moriarty jumped at the same time as Sherlock.

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I just imagine both of them faking their death the SAME way and then both of them getting angry and bickering because “YOU STOLE MY IDEA THERE’S NO WAY THAT WAS A COINCIDENCE IT’S TOO CLEVER”

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And right in the middle of their quarrel along comes molly

And both look at her and they simultaneously realize it was her plan all along

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I'M GAY

And I need to know how one can get over enigmatic girls. I fell for two. I need liberation. Help.
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Shout out to all my gryffindors who are easily scared, all the ravenclaws that can't remember schoolwork. All hufflepuffs with crippling depression and my dear slytherins who are just too extroverted.

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Sherlock and Moriarty

Sherlock and Moriarty are both beyond sex. To them it’s a petty animalistic need they look down on. They are both extremely intelligent and, I am sure, therefore well read enough in the subject of sexuality to be able to classify themselves as asexual in the common understanding of sex and pleasure. However, this does not negate the fact that they perceive pleasure that is on the same level or perhaps beyond that which is the equivalent of sexual pleasure for ‘ordinary’ humans. It is agreed by many a writer that “Sex is language”. In order to fit this particular argument, I’d like to take it further and say that pleasure is language. There’s a common language many people speak. But more often than not, there are slangs, subcultural meanings, and sometimes altogether separate languages. Yes, I’m still talking about sex. Moriarty and Sherlock speak the same language. It’s the language of tension, danger, attention to detail, use and stretch of the most powerful human erogenous organ - the brain. It’s the massaging and squeezing, the caressing and punching, the tying and releasing of that very organ with the challenge of the mind. This is their language. This, where others would only be able to evoke boredom, they can each other evoke pleasure which ‘ordinary’ humans wouldn’t even know where to start in the attempt. When Sherlock says he’s bored, it’s like when someone else says they’re sexually frustrated. The stimuli of knowledge and his brain in experimentation is like masturbation. Self-administered, short lasting, not entirely satisfying, but a bare minimum in pleasure. The more it is connected with an actual case, just like masturbation is more pleasurable with the imagination or rememberence or relativity to an actual sexually evoking happenstance or thought, the more pleasurable it is. When Sherlock deals with a complex case, it’s the equivalent of having a fling with a stranger. When it’s a serial offender, it’s like a short lasting relationship. But when Moriarty came along, it was like finding his soul mate. Like finding the only other human who spoke his language fluently. It is safe to assume that the same can be said of Moriarty, except he plays a more active role in being a creator where Sherlock is mainly passive in his position as a chaser, analyser, finder. But the recognition of his orchestrations is lost on most. Moriarty has to, for so often an instance, be the only person aware of the finer details of his creation. And in Sherlock he has somebody who not only appreciates it and sees it all, but also someone who pushes him. He’s like a prostitute who has fine tuned skills of seduction which the ordinary customer doesn’t even register until someone comes along who has as much knowledge as them, can appreciate, respond, recognise, find pleasure and reciprocate. What people don’t understand is that Moriarty and Sherlock are already lovers.

The truest sheriarty shipper.