Hey!

I AM SOBBING DAPPER YOU BEAUTIFUL SOUL

sometimes a story is about gay sex because there is no gay sex. sometimes a story revolves around the gay sex that is not happening

Quackity outside Wilbur’s house with a bunch of flowers and a blank ballot like, “But you love elections 🥺”

I read an AITA post a few weeks back about a woman who liked having snacks in the bath when she's had a long day (a result of residual trauma iirc - the bath was her safe space). Her brand new husband of three weeks, a man twice her age who had no job, made her pay all of his bills and do all housework, and spent all day every day gaming because he wanted to make it as a Twitch streamer, had always been fine with this; but, on the day in question, had whisked her bath snacks out of her hands as she was on her way to the bathroom and tried to bin them, telling her it was time to 'break her of that filthy habit in his home'. She told him if he ever actually paid anything towards the house she owns outright he might get a say, took her snacks back, and had her lovely bath. He was since giving her the silent treatment.

(Obviously the judgement was an avalanche of 'NTA and also he's abusing you', which she agreed with, and decided to kick him out, so happy ending.)

Anyway I told my husband about this and he was outraged. "I would never do that!" he told me, furious. "I would find it adorable if you had bath snacks!"

Since then, every time I try to have a bath (which I only do as a rare treat) after about ten minutes there has been an anxious scrabbling at the bathroom door.

"Elanor!" he says. "Do you have bath snacks? Do you need anything?"

My answer is irrelevant. He brings me wine and poptarts. Now I have bath snacks. I'm a bath snacks person. Last time he was literally sleeping on the sofa when I went for the bath. Somehow this still happened. I now have an eager bathroom butler. How did this happen. I have never been so decadent yet bewildered.

How could you miss the best part

I honestly think the original ah lads not again post is the funniest

First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out, because I was not a communist...

If you are queer and siding with the oppressors, I will not pretend to cry when you are eaten at their feasts.

Minority collaborators *ALWAYS* end up being eaten alive by the oppressors. They hate you as much as us and they will happily throw you in the meat grinder alongside us when you've served your purpose.

Be the villain you were born to be. Stop waiting for someone to come along and corrupt you. Succumb to the darkness yourself.

My villain origin story is someone has my strawberry milk mix.

The San Francisco Examiner, California, February 25, 1935

Sometimes I think humankind hasn’t changed at all. 

WHAT IS “DOES”?

[ID: text in a serif font, printed, reading: DOES the average man get enough sleep? What is enough sleep? What is the average man? What is “does”?“ /End ID]

Club Penguin Heritage Post

good morning everyone!!! Guess what day it is

Today is a Jewish holiday! 

sometimes i think i miss high school and then..this is pretty accurate

This is why I love pierce. He’s the kind of punk who understands that sometimes the most effective fuck you to authority is kindness

hate this site

come sit down next to me idiot

i will sit next to you at any time ms green

sit next to me right now. 

i am, im sitting next to you right now

now listen to me young man, i am talking directly into your ear now. i need you to do me a favor. you will do this for me. i need you to go to gamestop, and i need you to ask the bastard working the counter if they have bambi on the ps2. if you come back empty handed youll be in big trouble mister. you will never see the light of day.

My dentist never gives me feetie warmers.

You’re probably not likely to claw the dentist’s face off.

You don’t know that

this april we are breaking bad habits and identifying with good ones

I don't have a photo editing app