Ask not for whom the bones rattle, they rattle for thee.

this was so wild

Someone explain

The first sentence says 32 and 13 implying that the speaker is 32 years old and their girlfriend is 13 years old, which is both highly inappropriate and illegal. The next sentence reveals the speaker was talking about their game levels, not their ages, which is perfectly okay.

In their reply to the audience they then say they are picking her up from middle school, again implying that their girlfriend is underage, but quickly state she’s grading papers letting us know she’s a teacher, definitely an adult, and there no reason to be upset.

The rollercoaster gif portrays how switching from upset and worried to relieved in such a short period of time feels emotionally.

The next meme shows the guy panicking from misunderstanding, then feeling relieved and calm realizing the truth, only to panic over the next misunderstanding and then calm again when hearing the end.

the above explanation is followed by a picture of data from star trek with a speech bubble's tail coming out of him, implying he's the one saying all of that, which is humerous because the above text is written in a style similar to his speech patterns, and with a subject matter he would enjoy

This is the worst website ever and I love it.

I’d rather see Tumblr die than see it stop being like this.

wait but actually…sisko’s baseball is his orb??? he leaves it behind as a relic and a reminder of his return, as is common for prophets and messianic figures? it’s baseball that he uses to try and explain human time to the prophets? it never leaves his desk, and its presence haunts dukat when the cardassians briefly recapture the station?? pls tell me if this is something people have talked about because the baseball as a religious relic/object/orb is blowing my mind

the fact that he explains baseball to the prophets in the first episode really adds to the baseball’s religious significance. when he used it to describe linear existence to non-linear gods they asked “you value your ignorance of what is to come?” and he said “that may be the most important thing to understand about humans. it is the unknown that defines our existence. we are constantly searching, not just for answers to our questions, but for new questions. we are explorers. we explore our lives, day by day, and we explore the galaxy, trying to expand the boundaries of our knowledge. and that is why i am here. not to conquer you either with weapons or with ideas, but to co-exist and learn”

which is basically the moral code that sisko lives by, his religion. searching for the unknown, answering questions, co-existing and learning are the things that sisko tries to do throughout the series, though that gets super fucking difficult for him. and when shit gets rough, he ponders his orb

food isnt even advertised as tasting good anymore it has to be like immune system boosting and vaginal ph balancing and shit now

WHAT THE FUCK HELLO???

Oceangate wishes it had this kind of engineering

very well, i shall smoke this “bowl” with you. but take warning! henceforth i may become quite….. silly…

If your goal is to normalize gender-nonconformity you’re gonna have to accept that some people will fuck with gender as hard as they can while still being unequivocally, 100% cis and that is okay. There’s no egg to crack or callout to write. This is a good thing actually.

i dont care about any funny anime gag except for the girl trying to peg her boyfriend and instead of showing sex the next frame is her in a jumpsuit doing maitencne on a manhole

not to sound like your dad but if your not having a great time rn you might legitimately be playing too many video games or being on that damn phone too often, or at least without any necessary activity buffers

may i suggest coloring with physical materials? or some chores you’ve been putting off? hell go outside with a bucket and make mud soup like you’re five again. take a break. you can bring your whatever for music and stuff but like don’t play with it

lots of huffy teenagers in the notes

i mean this, after spending so long getting my entertainment online, theres something incredibly tranquil about shutting it all out for a while to do something in meatspace for myself

HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO COOL. Making creature rigs to help with acting and motion capture whaaaat

Creature Bionics Website

i thought of this at 3am and its canon now

never in all of my years would i have expected to characterize a company’s rebrand as “actively hostile” and “potentially endangering lives” yet here we are

for context, that X sign is dangerously bright, directly faces an entire apartment complex, and to top it all off it fucking strobes

there should be plushies of the strange but endearing creatures that live in medieval texts margins

So basically if you make most creatures a size they're usually not it is wrong in some way. A kobold or maybe even a funny doggy the size a building is just too much. Sure there are instances of it happening but it's rare and a source of much wonder confusion for how that happened. Now a dragon. You can basically make a dragon any size you want and it still makes sense. Is it 1 building big? That's normal. Bigger than a small moon? That's nature baby. A mere 3 grapes tall? Well that little critter makes an awful lot of sense now doesn't it? This is because basically dragons are like fish. you wouldn't dare tell a fish what it can and cant do,that would be absurd. the fish woudlnt even hear you because it is too busy chowing down on an delectable detritus it found. and dont even think of saying that to the dragon cause baby, the dragon is the fish's diner buddy and it's chewing louder than a lawn mower caught over a rock! you really should join in you know,its rude to stare

why is this getting notes

because its true

Dragon, like fish, is a nonsense term that doesnt ACTUALLY mean anything, which is why theyre both able to be anything!

Okay so Victorian erotica is literally the most heinous, morally bankrupt, horrific shit I've ever read - but I've read a fair bit, partly from historical interest but also because a while back I helped a friend with a university project she was doing about censorship and pornography in 19th century England.

Anyway I need to share with you all the most hilarious line that has ever been written, circa 1887:

I feel like this excerpt is significantly enhanced by knowing that the novel in question is a first-person narrative written from the perspective of an inexplicably sapient flea who lives on Bella's body, and that's why the third priest's penis is described in this way: from the narrator's perspective it literally blots out the sky.

i don’t think people realize how much of modern life we owe to ball bearings everyone say thank you ball bearings

literally what can’t she do

this came across kinda jokey but like genuinely so much of the things we can do today are thanks to ball bearings and i hope whoever invented them got mad pussy and excellent head for the rest of their life

EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU TO PHILIP VAUGHAN AND THE WELSH

Guy who transforms into a swarm of locusts when shaken vigorously: hey can you turn the music down it's resonating kind of hard and shaking the ground and I don't want to endanger anyone

DJ Loudmusic: SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THESE SICK JAMS! HERE'S MY NEXT SONG, "EPIC JUNGLE BEAT THAT GIVES LOCUSTS THE DESIRE TO KILL HUMAN BEINGS"

treasure planet is a fucking phenomenal film and was released during a time where it was destined to be forgotten by everyone

why is explaining a villains sad backstory always taken as an effort toward excusing their actions. why does the conversation need to involve the question of excusing anything rather than just making their present behavior way more interesting by complicating their feelings or their motivations. why is acknowledging complicated feelings or motivations taken as apologism in and of itself. why is everyone so incredibly boring

Also ‘you’re humanising villains and therefore excusing their actions’ gets it the wrong way round. ‘You’re showing that villains are human and therefore anyone can become one’ is so much more important.