Y'all have got to stop spreading fake news via the destiel meme, that shit needs to be an accredited source

Merrill

I might finish this eventually.

(psst... if you send me asks with ideas I may or may not sketch them if I like them. No promises though.)

If you ever feel like you must be the most unobservant person in the world, remember: I once spent half a year failing to notice that my new favourite restaurant was a money-laundering front for the Ukrainian mafia.

(I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but in retrospect, the fact that it was always dead no matter the time of day - I think the busiest I ever saw it was five people, myself included - well, that should have been a tipoff. Also, the waitstaff kept calling me “Mr. Prokopetz”, which I had assumed was just part of the restaurant’s gimmick, but given that “Prokopetz” is a Ukrainian surname, I’m now force to wonder whether they’d thought I was, you know, in the business. I just liked the pierogi!)

What I need to know is how on earth did OP finally realize his favorite restaurant was a money-laundering front for the mafia.

I’d like to say I put together the clues, but in reality, I just showed up one day to find that the place had been indefinitely shut down, and later learned it was because the managers had all been arrested.

What I really want to know is how good the food was?

Excellent, if your tastes run to the “heavy cream and too much garlic” end of the spectrum.

Every crime front I’ve ever eaten at has had completely amazing food, honestly. I am pretty convinced that if you want to open a front, you don’t choose “restaurant” as your front-business unless you have a relative who loves to cook.

It tickles me that this is evidently a sufficiently common experience that people find it relatable. (Seriously, check the notes!) We should write reviews or something.

did I just read the line “every crime front I’ve ever eaten at” with my own two eyes

Look, I went to college and lived my early adulthood in a town whose entire thing was import/export, and we had a lot of restaurants that were suspiciously empty except when they were closed and filled with very serious men in nice clothes.

They were usually run by someone who was about the right age to be some adult’s parents or grandparents, and in the case of the two Korean restaurants matching this description, they didn’t speak English. Universally though, they were very pleased to see customers, very proud of their cooking, and very very interested in keeping us far away from the aforementioned serious men in nice clothes. And despite having huge dining rooms and never having more than a couple customers, they never went out of business.

Also, because I am very, very stupid and sometimes don’t think before I talk, I once said loudly, over the phone, while sitting in one of these places, “Hey! Yeah if you want to meet us, we’re eating at [place]. You know…[place]? You totally know it. The Front, on Warwick st!”

The looks I got from every single employee were amazing and then I left.

We had a corner store/deli-place near our apartment in college. Everyone knew they were in on something and no one cared because they looked out for their customers and their neighborhood as a whole.

They started stocking my favorites because I mentioned them within hearing range once, would tell their “vendors” to move out of the way if we stopped in. I walked a different route home and got harassed one night and they asked after me. When they found out what happened, they declared “Consider it taken care of, you should never be afraid around here.” Never happened again.

Everyone needs their friendly neighborhood crime lord.

This is both my favorite and makes me fondly remember home. Less of the  eateries, more of the mysterious retail joints that never seem to close despite no one ever buying anything, though. Well. Aside from the juice bar. Didnt last, though. 

I found these places everywhere I lived. My favorite was an omurice place near my home in Japan, and a mother/son officially ran it. The food was incredible, and one night I was there and there was a boisterous crowd of BLATANTLY yakuza men eating and drinking. They started talking to me, and were super nice. Said they wanted to “practice their English,” and paid for my food and drinks and then said they wanted to take me to karaoke. That was a little alarming, but the mother/son, who seriously looked after me as the only foreigner in the area, said I should go, and the son came along. So we piled into a white landboat Cadillac and partied until dawn.

One of the older men at the party took me to my neighborhood and dropped me off out front (the car was literally too big to fit down the small neighborhood streets) and said that I had his blessing.

Which was confusing, but I was drunk, so whatever. Then I went back to the restaurant about a week later and the mother said, “the family approves of you. You may marry our son if you wish and be welcomed.”

I did not marry him, but wow. There were no hard feelings, either. They still helped out if I got harassed by the cops (which happened a lot in these smaller towns with no foreigners) or anything like that.

And to this day, no omurice has ever compared.

You enter their realm.

You eat their food.

You hold their secrets.

Welcome to….

The Faemily

“denied the catharsis of punishment” is an underappreciated but hugely effective narrative consequence imo 

#it’s so tasty and it comes in so many flavors#does the character self-loathe and feel anguished by what others intended as an act of forgiveness and grace?#does the character know they need to change but sort of madly wish they could trade the unceasing exhausting improvement journey#for a flash bang of slate-clearing repentance so they don’t have to *think* about it anymore?#is is a creeping horror as the character realizes no one is going to punish them because everyone else still thinks what they did was okay?#does the character have to live the rest of their life just feeling ever so slightly untrusted by everyone with no way to stop it?#sorry for leaving pretentious tags on tumblr dot com it will happen again 

Peer-reviewed tags by @annabelle–cane

Decided on a whim to continue the msq with Daishione, and like

me: yeah, please enlighten me again how her demise served *any* narrative purpose other than shoving her offscreen

Okay, I'm a little further in the msq (just finished patch 3.1) and I am, in fact, getting more of the catharsis from the game that Ysayle mattered (which is like the bare minimum of what I wanted). I don't know if this was recent additions when they re-recorded or if this was in the original.

Admitting to myself and the like... 3 people who care about my thoughts regarding this that I will not buy a reason like, "this is to teach you that people die and sometimes you don't have time to grieve," I'm also not really seeing a reason why Ysayle had to die though.

So far there is literally nothing that references Ysayle and her death that couldn't have been done with Ysayle literally present.

It/its havers and inherently sexy. Don’t believe me ? Well it/its with the first pronoun backwards and the i from the second pronoun removed is ti/ts. Heh bet you feel pretty stupid now

@poetikat

Rules:

no pressure tagging: @mxanigel, @galfrey, and well... anyone else who wants to do it.

0.583 * 12 = 7 sentences on Daishione or Ysayle Flashbacks:

0.333 * 12 = 4 sentences on a Scripted DA Fic scene into prose. I interpreted this more as expanding 4 lines of dialogue into prose, so here they are:

0.083 * 12 = 1 sentence of Skaengeim & Makimi Hildibrand Retelling

Tiny bit late for tumblr, but closing out pride with some sapphic bi4bi 🫶🫶🫶 who else would i post?

In Ice Unyielding Now Rest

Realised I never drew queen Ysayle so I fixed that.

HQ version will be available on paytreon and kofi!

UHM EXCUSE ME, MY BROWNIES ARE SO GOOD, PRINCESS TRIED STEALING EM

WHY DID YOU THINK I TRIED STEALING THEM?! XD XD XD

I did bake you some cookies to make up for it (after I was caught)

BUT IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE LIES, THE LIE WAS THAT YOU WERE TOO NICE TO STEAL MY BROWNIES, BECAUSE YOU AREN’T A STINKY BABY THIEF (unlike my kitten)

I MEAN IT IS TRUE THAT I WOULD BE TOO NICE TO ACTUALLY STEAL SOMEONE’S BROWNIES.

Though I might still eat more than anticipated when they’re really good (and made by a friend XD)

And to be fair, mine is also a lie because there’s probably a professional baker on tumblr who makes better brownies. So I complied on a technicality (even though I failed with the implication that your brownies may not be good due to the prompt stating that I’m lying and I actually do believe your brownies are wonderful and delicious.)

I just saw a clear “yes and” opportunity and decided to run with it XD

haha fair, also I hope my messages came across as me joking not genuinely mad, I just thought the whole situation was really funny

Oh they did! because the situation is really funny <3

UHM EXCUSE ME, MY BROWNIES ARE SO GOOD, PRINCESS TRIED STEALING EM

WHY DID YOU THINK I TRIED STEALING THEM?! XD XD XD

I did bake you some cookies to make up for it (after I was caught)

BUT IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE LIES, THE LIE WAS THAT YOU WERE TOO NICE TO STEAL MY BROWNIES, BECAUSE YOU AREN’T A STINKY BABY THIEF (unlike my kitten)

I MEAN IT IS TRUE THAT I WOULD BE TOO NICE TO ACTUALLY STEAL SOMEONE'S BROWNIES.

Though I might still eat more than anticipated when they're really good (and made by a friend XD)

And to be fair, mine is also a lie because there's probably a professional baker on tumblr who makes better brownies. So I complied on a technicality (even though I failed with the implication that your brownies may not be good due to the prompt stating that I'm lying and I actually do believe your brownies are wonderful and delicious.)

I just saw a clear "yes and" opportunity and decided to run with it XD

UHM EXCUSE ME, MY BROWNIES ARE SO GOOD, PRINCESS TRIED STEALING EM

WHY DID YOU THINK I TRIED STEALING THEM?! XD XD XD

I did bake you some cookies to make up for it (after I was caught)

New REBLOG Game

Just fucking lie about the previous poster

WIP Whenever! Tagged by @mxanigel (thank you 😊)

Tagging (if you want to share your writing, of course) : @illusivesoul, @mxkelsifer, @deedeemactir, @dairine-bonnet, @lady-carys

(This fic doesn't have a title yet, it's currently labelled "baby_alistair_draft_fic"... very imaginative, I know (no) )

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So… I have a son." "Yes, so I keep telling you." "What? Oh, no, it's not like that." "Ah." "Couldn't you be a little more helpful?" "That depends on where you're going with this." Maric realised he was wringing his hands and willed himself to stop. "It's not Cailan." He didn't give himself time to observe Loghain's reaction before opening the door to his study. He gestured towards the crib lying next to the desk and didn't turn back until he was standing above it. Loghain's eyebrows shot up, and his mouth opened, closed, and opened again. Maric breathed a sigh of relief. "So, yes. Now you know. Arl Aemon has accepted to take him in." This time, Loghain began pacing. "Aemon. Rowan's brother." It sounded bad when you put it like that. "Maric, can I ask you something? How in the world did you think convincing your dead wife's brother to raise your bastard ch…" "Hey. He's my son." "Yes, and unless you've spent these past three years hiding him, I'll assume his mother is not Rowan. That makes him a bastard. You may not like the word but the definition stands." Maric frowned. "There's no need for harsh words." "No, but people will use them. Particularly Aemon's people." "Where are you going with this?" Loghain sighed. "I'm saying Arl Aemon is being far too generous for his own good. And the child's. I know I wouldn't do it." "Yes, you would. He's very much like Cailan." He smiled at the child, who giggled and extended his hands. Maric picked him up. "You actually like Cailan." "Cailan is not living proof of your inability to keep your breeches up." It was Maric's turn to gape. The rebuke was entirely unfair. "You said it yourself. Rowan is dead. I thought you didn't like me wallowing. Well, here he is. The result of 'not wallowing'. His name is Alistair, since you didn't ask." Loghain scowled. "Alistair Theirin, is it? Surely, you know better than to inflict such a burden on the child. Or Guerrin? Maker, you know what I think of that. " Maric sighed. "No. Just Alistair. I promised his mother." This seemed to pacify Loghain, to an extent. "And, what do you expect from me, exactly?" Maric opened the door, ushering a smiling Duncan in. "Your Majesty. Teyrn Loghain." "Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like this." Maric ignored the grumbling. Instead, he said: "Will you please accompany them to Redcliffe?" As if in agreement, the infant reached out a hand towards Loghain and laughed. His friend looked like he might choke. "I'm going to regret this." "Bah. By the end of your journey there you'll wish you could keep him." "No, I certainly will not." Alistair gurgled, and Maric began rocking the child. "Shhh. Uncle Loghain is very grumpy. It's not you, dear. Happens all the time." Loghain scoffed. "Uncle?" Maric handed him the child. "Uncle." Alistair smiled, kicking his feet. "Hmph." "You can 'hmph' all you like, you know I'm right."

WIP Whenever words for "An emotion I won't name" (Neri's Awakening fic) partly prompted by the poll

tagging a few folx who might be interested and/or might wish to share words of their own @mxkelsifer @spindleweedss @marythegizka @poetikat

-----

“He certainly flirts a lot for being married with a child,” Anders says between mouthfuls of bread.

“Eh, I’m not sure Oghren knows how not to flirt,” I respond. “He made more innuendos while we tracked down his previous wife during the Blight than he has here.”

Velanna arches one eyebrow. “That dwarf’s been married more than once?”

Perhaps I shouldn’t have mentioned Branka. “Uh, well, yes.”

“I didn’t believe him when he called himself the ladykiller of Orzammar.” She strokes her chin. “There could’ve been some truth to that, after all.”

“No, no, that’s definitely an exaggeration,” Sigrun interjects. “Not only was it an arranged marriage, but his previous wife preferred women.”

Velanna and Anders stare at her. She shrugs. “If the Legion of the Dead knew about it, then everyone knew about it.”

New REBLOG Game

Just fucking lie about the previous poster