CHICAGO—Noting that the gregarious bastard got pretty shy real damn quick once his little playmate disappeared, public transit sources confirmed Monday that a certain talkative motherfucker isn’t so extroverted now that his buddy has gotten off the train. “Well, well, well. Seems Mr. Conversation ain’t such a silver-tongued devil without his usual audience,” said the sources, who couldn’t help but notice that the CTA Blue Line’s resident Jay Gatsby seemed to have stopped holding court at the precise moment that his precious companion took his leave at the Division stop. “What’s the matter, Chatty Cathy? Didn’t you save a bon mot or two for the rest of the train? Just a moment ago, you were living it up while everybody else sat quietly, listening to podcasts. But guess what—now that your buddy left, you’re just like the rest of us. Well? How’s that feel, motherfucker?” Witnesses on the scene confirmed the suddenly timid commuter was observed slinking off the train at the next stop without so much as a wave goodbye.
To all Christians out there, or just people who love Dan
a self insert fanfic: i brushed my long blonde hair out my face to show off my clear blue eyes and pale complexion
my colored ass:
icylangdon
a self insert fanfic: i slipped on my size 00 jeans and smiled as he wrapped his arms around my tiny waist!
my fat ass:
self insert fanfic: they towered over my small and short frame.
my amazonian ass:
shonmondez
ThESE HIT HARDDDDD
shawnase
self insert fanfic: only for my dad to say I couldn’t go to the dance.
My fatherless ass:
nibuihime
Self insert fanfic: he gazed into my big round eyes.
My Asian ass:
Self insert fanfic: his thumb grazed over my small perky breast
My big tiddie ass:
This post jumped me in an arby’s parking lot
Self insert fanfic: She looked up at me “You’re so beautiful”
My ugly ass:
Self-insert fanfic: He scanned the crowd for me and my large group of friends.
My lonely ass:
YOUR DRAGON NAME
- last two letters of your first name
- middle two letters of your last name
- first two letters of your mother’s name
- last letter of your father’s name
mine would be Urlelan. Reblog and tag this with yours!
Mine would be Llrcdey. Reblog and tag this with yours!
reblog for good things to happen to you
the universe will listen
2 Cats 1 Bed: Adopted Cat Brothers Continue Sleeping Together Even After They Outgrow Their Bed.
Source: picsvip.com
kiryuuyoshiya-deactivated201511
funny text posts arent my
Puns like that could get you in
banasmagiccastle
give it a
Yeah I think the joke might be falling
sexting-inchurch
This would probably be a lot funnier if I could read sheet music
janersm
It’s no one else’s fault that you aren’t that
I don’t get this shit
j-oneracha
I LOVE BEING A MMUSICIAN SKKSKS IM DYING
okay so liszten musicians are the best
SJJDJS IM DYING THO
my-analogical-romance
i can’t stop laughing omg
oh my god.
I can read this
Oh god 6-9 yr old me possessed me so I could read this holy shit
lovemesomecas94
I can’t read sheet music but second grade me was like you still know these symbols yo!
Znsksnsieheuehebroqien
I’m proud of the fact that I can’t really read sheet music but I got the gist of most of this, I love it. Props.