Shitposting to the Max

🐯 🐯 🐯

good morning everyone have an absolutely furious mongoose

It’s cuter when you recognize that the lion with visible spots is a juvenile. There’s a very high chance the other lion that runs over to investigate is the MOTHER.

The first lion is asking for comfort because she was given a big spook!!! and she needs mommy to tell her it’s safe and ok!!!! (What’s cuter is that mommy clearly reassures her, and goes on to take the parent role of ‘deal with the scream rat in order to protect my large and easily frightened daughter’)

this is all in all an adorable video 10/10

Who Would Win?

Three apex predators

OR

One Screaming Long Boi

Dogs before selective breeding. From top to bottom:

Bull Terrier 

German Shepherd

Boxer

Saluki

Dachshund

(Source)

For more interesting posts

Smh They were perfect in the first place

One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.

And after like three seconds, where we’re all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadn’t ended, and John Mulaney quietly says, “Has there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?”

He’d taken his suit to the drycleaner, and they’d wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didn’t notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didn’t notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.

during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she ‘is aware that she is physically here right now’ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is the “and I’m new in town” bit and that she’s seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldn’t get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things he’s said that she heard

When I saw him in Ft. Lauderdale, there was a bar in the lobby that people kept leaving to go to. At one point, a guy in the front row just got up and BOOKED IT to get drinks. John Mulaney looked over at a woman who was next to the empty seat and asked, “Are you with him? What’s his name?”

She was, in fact, with him, and she did tell him her date’s name. John Mulaney considered this, looked around, and unplugged his microphone. Leaning in to us, he told us that we were going to trick this guy so fuckin hard. He said, “At some point during the show, I am going to stop and say, ‘Well, you guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale,’ and then you guys are all going to scream back ‘WE LOVE MILKSHAKES!’ He’ll be so confused.”

He then continued on with the show as normal, the drinks guy returned to his seat, and that was that for quite a long time. We thought he had forgotten about it until, at some point during what I believe was his McDonald’s drive-thru bit, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “You guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale…”

Naturally, we erupted with “WE LOVE MILKSHAKES” and John Mulaney SWUNG around to face the drinks guy and said, “I bet you’re real confused now, huh, JASON?!”

ah so john mulaney is a chaotic neutral cryptid

i saw him last night and there was a good ten minute interlude where a woman told him everything she found wrong with his suit, including that his pants were too high waisted to which he replied “that’s where my hips are” and someone in the back shouted “look at that high waisted man he’s got feminine hips!” and he yelled back “that’s my joke! i’m offended!!”

some wholesome stuff for anyone who’s having a tough day. :)

at last

Big mood

I slept in and laughed way too much at this

THE NOISESSSSS LMFAOOOOOOOO

Paranoia Agent (2004) dir. Satoshi Kon

@ivyxchaplin @ninjazaku

From the website:

“Nevermind is a biofeedback-enhanced adventure thriller game that takes you into the dark and twisted world of the subconscious.

As you explore surreal labyrinths and solve the puzzles of the mind, Nevermind’s biofeedback algorithm will monitor how scared or stressed you may be feeling moment-to-moment. If you let your fears get the best of you, the game will become harder. If you’re able to calm yourself in the face of terror, the game will be more forgiving.

Nevermind strives to create a haunting gameplay experience that also teaches you how to be more aware of your internal responses to stressful situations. If you can learn to control your feelings of anxiety within the disturbing realm of Nevermind, just imagine what you can do when it comes to those inevitable stressful moments in the real world.”

Holy shit i need this to play and record

Escape velocities for every planet in the solar system

Jupiter: YEET

Lord of the Mist by artist Roberto Gatto.

girl pats gigantic raven and fondles its fluffy neck

raven: makes a demonic noise, like the several souls trapped inside him screamed, but in harmonics

girl: yeah! you’re so good.. you’re so good

Here is the original NBC clip of the Suzaki Miu & Kihara Ryuichi’s Olympic performance for “Yuri on Ice” (Piano), which has been their short program this entire season. Ever since they debuted the routine in Detroit (Yes, DETROIT, where Yuuri and Phichit trained with Celestino!) back in July 2017, I’ve been wondering if they will actually make it to the 2018 Japanese Winter Olympics Team and officially bring YOI to the games. Lo and behold, not only did they make it to Pyeongchang, they even managed to score a personal best for this routine with a 57.42 during the Team Event on Friday!

After watching their performance, Kubo Mitsurou mentioned that the pair’s coach, the legendary Sato Yuka/Yuka Sato, actually suggested the track to them. BLESS YOU YUKA.

I keep seeing people linking to the wrong videos (This or this) claiming that it is the Olympics performance - it isn’t! That is actually the pair’s routine from the Four Continents Championships in Taipei back in late January. You can see the signs all over, including in the kiss & cry at the end.

One more interesting thing to note: Suzaki & Kihara will actually skate this SP one more time in Pyeongchang during the actual pairs skating competition. The scheduled date of the SP performances in this event? February 14th, VALENTINE’S DAY.

P.S. This clip also includes YOI megafan Johnny Weir holding in his extreme excitement explaining where the track is from in the beginning :D

he did it

good job baby

I’m so proud and I don’t even know who this dog is

I’m sorry, we need to take a short break from horses to appreciate that my boyfriend’s cat has a treadmill, and she will only run on it if she has an audience.

This is really important

WHOO lmao

WHERE IS THIS FROM?!

Boys will be boys.. aHUAGH

can’t help falling in love on a kalimba

This radiates calm

Why was this cut out from the goblet of fire?!

I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SAD ABOUT THE ABSENCE OF THIS SONG, I NEVER REALISED IT WAS FILMED THEN CUT

all the durmstrang and beauxbatons kids are just like what the actual fuck

OMFG

this is fab 

WHY? I’M SO MAD THIS WASNT IN IT

What the fuck man this I awesome why would any sane person want to cut this scene

Whenever I see this it makes me cry with laughter. This is brilliant. Why did they cut this?

Reblogging ONLY for the Durmstrang and Beauxbatons expressions 😂😂😂

And Draco’s

Draco is that shy boy that stays in the corner of a party because he doesn’t know how to dance, but doesn’t realized everyone is improvising and are shit at it too

I love everything about this, especially Draco’s expression. 😂😂😂😂😂

Draco is so annoyed an embarrassed about this song in general and about crabbe in particular :-D

Ngl I would 100% be Draco Malfoy at this moment: Please don’t make me engage in school spirit. Please.