MurderThyKiller

nothing fills my heart with more violence than the sight of a naked wrapping paper roll

this is how Cain killed Abel

reblog to bonk the person you reblogged it from on the head

🐯 🐯 🐯

good morning everyone have an absolutely furious mongoose

It’s cuter when you recognize that the lion with visible spots is a juvenile. There’s a very high chance the other lion that runs over to investigate is the MOTHER.

The first lion is asking for comfort because she was given a big spook!!! and she needs mommy to tell her it’s safe and ok!!!! (What’s cuter is that mommy clearly reassures her, and goes on to take the parent role of ‘deal with the scream rat in order to protect my large and easily frightened daughter’)

this is all in all an adorable video 10/10

Who Would Win?

Three apex predators

OR

One Screaming Long Boi

there’s nothing worse than getting an email

answering an email

the main thing that puts me off of playing chess is that there is 2000 years of gameplay that hundreds of people with higher IQs than me have spent thousands of hours studying the history of, so much so that when i put the pawn forward they say “ah i see youre going for the bulgarian somersault” and then i try to take their bishop with my knight and they go “aw, rookie mistake, youve played the frenchmans cumsock, and in approximately 37 moves i’ll have won”

the proper way to play chess was how I learned it from my younger sisters when we were all under the age of 10. see, the queen is bloodthirsty, and careens around the board, snapping up pawns and knights alike. when you capture a piece, you must throw it across the room with a shout. if you aren’t playing chess so vigorously that all the felt backing on the pieces is totally obliterated, you are doing it wrong.

Queen of the Night by Marjorie Miller, 1931

Story time:

In middle school biology, we did an experiment. We were given yams, which we would sprout in cups of water. We then had to make hypotheses about how the yams would grow, based on descriptions of yam plants in our books, and make notes of our observations as they grew.

Here’s what was supposed to happen: we were supposed to see that the actual growth of the plant did not resemble our hypotheses. We were then supposed to figure out that these were, in fact, sweet potatoes.

What actually happened was that every single student in every single class lied in their notes so that their observations perfectly matched their hypotheses. See, everyone assumed the mismatch meant they had done something wrong in the process of growing the plant or that they had misunderstood the dichotomous key or the plant identification terminology. And, thanks to the wonders of a public school education, everyone assumed the wrong results would get us a failing grade. We were trying to pass. We didn’t want to get bitched out by the teacher. Curiosity, learning, science - that had nothing to do with why we were sitting in that classroom. So we all lied.

The teacher was furious. She tried to fail every student, but the administration stepped in and told her she wasn’t allowed to because a 100% fail rate is recognized as a failure of the teacher, not the class. It wasn’t even her fault, really, though her being a notorious hard-ass didn’t help. It was a failure of the entire educational system.

So whenever I see crap like Elizabeth Holmes’s blood test scam or pharmaceutical trials which are unable to be replicated or industry-funded research that reaches wildly unscientific conclusions, I just remember those fucking sweet potatoes. I remember that curiosity dies when people are just trying to give their superiors the “right” answers, so they can get the grade, get the job, get the paycheck. It’s not about truth when it’s about paying rent. There’s no scientific integrity if you can’t control for human desperation.

took a while but i did it

…good morning …it’s already baby hours

reblog to give the person ur reblogging from an ikea shark

all of us in the notes rn

huh...

well all of us now:

[id in alt text]

u guys,,,,,, actually want to fuck monsters? like literally actually for real??? u see a huge terrifying monster and think big sexy??? u wanna scary ass bloodthirsty beast to fuck u??? a mothman???? a wearwoof??? VENOM????????????? these arent just memes??? not just jokes??????? u guys arent joking?????????

did people think we were fucking joking about this

cat !