Imagine my shock as a neurodivergent teen when I first realized that using large vocabulary and eloquent speech doesn't make you less likely to be misinterpreted, rather it adds an entirely new layer of misinterpretation I had never even realized existed in the form of people thinking you're being snobbish or condescending when you're just trying to be specific
Any setting where the elves have weaker booze than the dwarves isn't committing to the bit
I mean, we're talking about people whose lifespan is Yes.
"Oh, the weak wine? That is for children. I am two thousand years old, and I daresay one sip from this highball would knock you on your ass for a week."
Look, there's this weird thing people do with high fantasy where they want elves to be immortal/extremely long-lived snooty aristocrats and also somehow incapacitated by imagining the taste of salt too hard. "Orcs and dwarves have the hardest booze" no they don't, they have work in the morning! In any of these settings, elves would pregame harder than hobbits party and everyone else has shit to do tomorrow.
The average high elf builds up the drug tolerance of a mid-70s Hollywood producer and then spends three centuries studying alchemy. While humans seek immortality, the Immortals seek the elusive "philosopher's cocaine."
Anonymous asked:
do you agree that pufferfish are the species of fish that look most like anime girls
That’s a bold claim and I think there are way too many species of fish to agree with it without further research
false.
ratfish
wallace gromited so that chicken run. is this something
well you can’t say i didn’t try ❤️
i’m in spain rn and i said wallace gromited so that chicken run to my friend on the bus and the woman in front of us looked back at us then pulled out english duolingo
I had to Google “dora trampoline lightning” but I found it. This is it. This is the funniest image on the internet. Everyone can go home. It was fun while it lasted.
gar-dev-oir
This is how azula killed aang
Come on Tumblr, don’t be fucking cowards
Alternatively - come on nameless intern #102, you have a chance to be the fucking funniest person on staff.
cowards
Time for manual blazing, tumblr can be a coward but they can't stop us.
My favorite little subgenre of the occult is "Fake Martial Arts" because what if that was the one type of magic that was literally 100% real. I love the idea that there's some dude in a strip mall dojo named Sensei Todd Wayne who can teach you how to kill birds with ki blasts.
one of my cousins has one of those wretched sequined nicolas cage pillows and today the rest of us received this photo of perhaps the most upsetting thing i’ve seen all year, slugolas cage
Anonymous asked:
Burger Kong is the hungriest member of the DK Crew
He's the eater of the bunch You know him well His jaw can break A thick clam shell
He has no gun He's not allowed He ate all the ammo And shat on a crowd
His hunger drives him To desperate acts But he'll show you his kindness If you show him snacks!
HUH!
captain-price-officially
Have y’all tried marrying people you like?
imagine opening the newspaper over your morning coffee and the first article is a piece by your wife about how much she fucking hates you
