I’m fascinated by this reply (and others like it, one mentioned magazine articles with astrology-based dating advice) and have been thinking about it for well over a week.
Because it seems so flippantly right, but on a moment’s thought is so clearly wrong?
Like, the astrology is only doing a narrativist’s work here. If you’re super attracted to a guy you aren’t consulting a star-chart, and same if there’s no spark. The thing astrology categories are doing for you is giving labels to a personality mapping scheme. If you notice “I keep falling for dark, brooding, silent men who sweep me off my feet but are later emotionally withholding so I act out to get attention and then he--” well an upperclass person will say he has Dark Triad traits, but less medicalizing subcultures might say say “he’s a total Cancer and I’ve learned at this point Cancers and I don’t match.” It’s a way to give yourself permission to recognize bad relationship patterns, and opt out ahead of time.
Maybe giving up on dating people because you’ve slotted them into a bucket like past relationship disasters is not the fairest and healthiest coping strategy, but it sure as hell ain’t the worst one either. Yes, if your last three boyfriends were Aries and they all ended badly, I support you “believing in astrology” and not dating that Aries who’s dating your friend but texting you at night. It might not even be a legible personality archetype you’re avoiding, just bad vibes.
And that’s the real crux of it. This is tumblr isn’t it? Aren’t we supposed to have “you can refuse to date anyone for any reason” etched into our eyeballs. You can even say “you’re not ready to date yet” or you’re a lesbian or you’re ace and later change your mind and date someone else and that’s okay because your right to not fuck someone you don’t want to trumps your responsibility to be 100% honest about your interior conflicts[1]. We all know that someone is just trying to excuse “I don’t vibe with you” when they come up with bullshit reasons to say no - but we fault it if they mention stars?
(Obviously not hiring someone because of their sign is much worse (and much less prevalent in the English-speaking world), but much of that is inherent to the power imbalance of the employer/employee relationship. If a friend told us they didn’t take a job because of the sign of the boss they’d be working for, how much would we fault them? And how much would we suspect they felt validly uncomfortable with the boss and struggled to put it into words so chalked it up to astrology.)
[1] It’s better to be honest to yourself, and eventually others, than to lie. Once you tell a lie, yadda yadda. But you can’t do that from a position of fear and pressure. You need to believe your preferences will be respected before you can be honest about them. And until then, I think most reasonable and empathic people understand you are allowed to say whatever you want to to shut down new connections with people, so long as you aren’t actively hurting anyone else with the lie.