unbelievable news. there are people in the red dead redemption and arthur morgan tags who are even more mentally unwell about this man than I am
all your stuffed animals love you. they're not sad if they're in a box, or on the floor, or not held/played with as much. they understand. they know that you might need another stuffie more, or that you don't have enough space. they're just happy to be with you, and if you ever give them away, they'll be happy there too. stuffies are for comfort. they understand. they love you too. it's okay.
if Homer Simpson was exposed to top/bottom discourse he would say “mmm… subs” while thinking about a big sandwich. and we should all strive to be more like him in this way
Who are you? The bedtime police?
love ignoring things ‘have you seen this terrible show’ no im the ignorer ‘can you believe what that company tweeted yesterday’ i am the ignorer
the glorification of your 20s and fear of anything else has got to stop. mainly bc your 20s is quite literally the worst decade of your life the idea that ppl think you peak at 25 has me so sad for them
also when ppl act like 20s is peak sexiness. im 26 so if you presented a 22 year old as the pinnacle of desirability i would morph into a chimpanzee and rip you limb from limb. WHAT am i supposed to do with someone who hasn't even gone thru the age 23 ego death
june is NOT pride month. it’s the month when people on the internet who have never been in irl lgbt spaces or have irl lgbt friends will be like “lgbt people need to STOP sucking and FUCKING during pride parades” and then when you go to a parade, instead of seeing the promised sucking and fucking, you get pelted with gay pens from bank of america
I love how as soon as the Valentine saloon fight starts, charles' first instinct is to abeolutely LAUNCH A FUCKING CHAIR at someone
I’m God’s weakest twink
if anyone is wondering why i came back to tumblr out of nowhere it’s because i was very high and playing splatoon 3 and i said “if i win this game i post on tumblr” and this was the first post that came to my head
If you fold a pizza in half, is it a sandwich?
the language is not some inherent truth of life. we made the words as a lens to better understand the world.
no one in the comments has listened
i think if you folded a pizza in half it wouldn’t be very easy to eat and i would not eat it anyway actually because i am lactose intolerant. but if i did eat it i would unfold it first because the folded pizza would be too tall to fit in my mouth unless i squished. also if i shoot a bullet from the moon and it kills someone in texas do the texas police have jurisdiction or do the moon police?
you, though.
you have listened.
i saw guys on twitter getting mad at this but it’s real as fuck














