okay. 

so i just read some of the poems i wrote in high school... and the fact that i used to write for my friends... and i just thought i was really friendly and nice... turns out i was just gay lol 

-mel 

3.12.21 | 8:16 PM 

it kinda sucks when you find out your friendship was just out of convenience

mel || 10.21.20 | 12:06pm ||

holy cow

wow. i just read all of my old poems.

i used to be pretty good at writing -- and blaming myself for everything. 

it’s funny how both things have changes. 

2013-2017 were such strange years. 2020 is just as crazy but in a different way. 

i haven’t dated anyone since matthew in april 2017. and now i like girls. 

i mean, i’ve always liked girls. i just couldn’t admit it to myself. 

who knew january 2020 would be the peak of my self confidence and now in august 2020 i work at a fucking grocery store and hate my life. 

2020 is starting to feel more and more like high school. 

get me out of here. AND OFF THIS WEBSITE. 

~big 2014 vibes here xoxo~

mel || 8.15.20 | 11:23pm ||

i’m listening to the front bottoms for the first time in over a year.

i still sing the background vocals to flashlight like i’m at a live show in 2014.

but this time i’m the one who‘s getting fucked up and misses hanging around.

hope you’re doing great.

-m.e.l.

|| 8.14.20 | 10:32pm ||

WoOow I’m finally posting as a drunk :-)

I feel like my year long abandonment from this godforsaken app put me in such a good place, but also at this moment i’m stuck in ~2016~