Lying to children is fun when they know you are being ridiculous. When you hold up a carrot like “guys look at this huge Cheeto” and they all scream “NOOOOOOOOO that’s a CARE-OTT!”
“What? No, it’s my giant Cheeto.”
“NOOOOOOO!”
When I was a camp counselor a fellow counselor claimed that any silly camp song we sang was “his next hit single” and we should all follow him on SoundCloud and he stuck by this daily and it never ceased to amuse both the adults and the children.
When children are small and learning to count and you say the numbers out of order? Peak comedy.
“How many toys are there? Let’s see… oneeee, twooo, six!”
“NO! One two three!”
“What? Are you sure? Let me try again. One, two… six?”
“Noooooo!”
Once reduced a toddler into a fit of giggles by singing “A B C D E F Q.”
Tags from @windyvalleyzone
on Halloween at the store i work at there was a little boy in a Batman costume, and as I was helping his mom I kept addressing him as Mr. Superman and Mr. Aquaman & he kept correcting me, “noooo, BATMAN” until they were leaving and he very seriously told me, “actully, I’m Ryan”
my favourite thing to do when a small child hands me a random object with no clear intent is to answer it like a cell phone. Gets em every time
Baby elephant crossing a river
HIS
LITTLE
TRUNK!!!!!!!
how freaking adorable!!
If you had shown me this site in 2005 I would have asked you if had checked your virus software lately, because this looks like a bad one. I would have clicked away so fast it would give you whiplash. Looking at these sites now, I have to convince myself that they aren’t virus laden sites and fight against the pavlovian urge to just navigate away.
eclecticmasterpiece
I navigate away anyways because fuck them, there’s usually a better site (though they are dwindling quickly). I still can’t get over how the internet “as intended” today looks like a malware ridden fever dream from 20 years ago. This is every story I’ve ever read about an empire that used to be great and has now fallen into turmoil.
Beloveds, there is a wonderful website that gets rid of all that crap<3
OOOOH.
zetablarian
Oh boy, oh boy, I wish I had an avenue for sharing this with my undergraduates. This is some GOOD information literacy shit.
Marine life specialists noticed a spotted eagle ray mother was having trouble and helped her deliver two baby rays
They’re so cute! Such
spookijam
:3
There are many benefits to being a marine biologist
Being raised by areligious jews with 0 exposure to christianity outside pop culture is so fun. One time I asked my ex-catholic friend why a picture of jesus had a bristle crown and she looked at me like I was insane. One time I heard someone mention the "lance of longinus" and responded, word for word, "Like from Evangelion?" One time during a history lesson my professor described an important monk and scholar as "Dominican" and I spent the rest of class super confused and hung up on it because I was very sure that the Dominican Republic didn't meaningfully exist as an entity back then, maybe she meant he was a native Taino or something but that's a weird way to say that and I'm pretty sure this was pre- European contact? Really fucks people up when they realize I genuinely have no idea.
This but it's my partner taking an art history class in college and the professor looking at them like they grew a second head when they answered "What came out of Jesus' wound when he was stabbed on the cross" with "...Blood?"
Additions that prove my point by mystifying me because what on earth would come out of a nail wound besides blood. Are you telling me it was something besides blood. What was jesus full of that wasn't blood. You guys are scaring me
Apparently it was water?? I guess he was also stabbed on top of being crucified (which feels like overkill imo) and water came out, which was a huge deal in medieval symbolism and also to my medieval poetry professor, who was genuinely shocked and upset that I didn’t know. This man fully docked me points because I, a whole ass Jew, hadn’t somehow heard about the secret waterballoon Jesus lore that I guess everyone is supposed to like… intuit
On the plus side, it does lead to some absolutely wild medieval Jesus art of angels tapping him like a fucking keg
goldhornsandblackwool
congrats lil buddy that’s the worst anyone’s ever done it
The artist is Victor Navlet and the painting is called “General View of Paris from a hot-air balloon” (1855)
IT WAS 1855 HE DIDN'T EVEN DO IT FROM A PHOTOGRAPH I AM SO ANGEY
An interesting demonstration of how the human brain works.
But also something of a lesson regarding perception, and the unreliability of subjective perspective versus objective reality.
You can be extremely certain about how you perceive the world, your "lived experience," that which you "feel it in my heart." But that doesn't mean it's actually true. And it doesn't mean we have to endorse it, or ignore or outright deny objective reality.
That's a "you" thing, not a "we" thing.
Source: twitter.com
pandariousgooch
i never realized cuneiform was made with the corner of a cuboid tool, i thought the wedge shapes were carved such that you would press straight down with the tool at a 90° angle to the clay
Wow! My mind is super into this new information
patchpaws
internet-sentences
Werner herzog
when I first saw this quote I was like 'that's either david lynch or hideo kojima' and then read the source and realised it's the third and last of their species
here's some other great bits from the interview
funnytwittertweets
as someone who boarded on several Barbie movies I can tell you with absolute confidence that the entire crew I worked with would also. like to make Barbie vs predator