If Found...

Poll: if your mom remarries when you’re 26 years old is that guy still your stepdad or is he just your mom’s husband.

The poll winner seems to be “depends on whether you like him” which is super valid.

Mine watches fox news so “mom’s husband” it is!

My family has a great way of distinguishing between a new spouse you like and new spouse you disdain!

Your mom/aunt/grandma/etc remarries and they are actually a cool person, you use their first name. So if you were to introduce them they would be: Aunt Jane and Bob.

If your mom/aunt/grandma/etc remarries and they are a fuckwad you introduce them as: this is Aunt Jane and her second husband. The implication being that they are very replaceable and that we’re all just waiting for her to wise up to the situation and serve you divorce papers, she did it once, she can do it again.

MAGNIFICENT

Alright, but what if my mom on her third marriage found a decent man, but my mother herself is shitty

"my stepdad's wife"

@sapphic-sargent your tags omg

You are doing God’s work

I knew having Redditors cross-train on Tumblr would produce weird fucking magic.

It gets better. This Redditor went the full Goncharov.

Glorbcharov: Dishonor Among AI Thieves

Y’all missed the best part:

Category 5 Glup Shitto event

did this rat just call me a dumbass in my own native language

And in Portuguese, “bobo” means "silly" 🤣

One must imagine Sisyphus had infinite spoons.

[source]

Okay, first of all: it is not at all surprising that tumblr is into this beef. at least half of being in fandom is beefing constantly, and the levels of haterdom that Kendrick Lamar has achieved are...... truly impressive and a little bit scary.

this is gonna be messy and not comprehensive but i've been thinking about this for like a week and there's just so much....... context. there's layers to this shit.

so let's start at the beginning.

My grandfather and my godfather (a beloved neighbor and dear family friend) had a long standing bet- for one dollar- about who would die first. Both of them being slightly pessimistic (in the funny way), they both insisted that they themselves would be the first to die. Any time my grandfather had a health scare, he’d gleefully call up my godfather to boast that he’d be passing “any day now” and he was sure to win the bet. It was a big family joke and they were always amiably sparring and comparing notes about who was in worse shape, medically speaking.

When my grandfather was in hospice care dying of liver cancer, my godfather was quite ill also. It took him great effort to make the journey to see his dying friend. As he came into the room, supported by a family member, he shuffled to my grandpa’s bedside and silently handed him a dollar bill. He was ceding his loss of the bet, as they both knew who was going first. My grandpa had been in quite bad shape for a while and was no longer able to speak but let me tell you he snatched that dollar with unexpected strength and literally laughed aloud. He knew exactly what the gesture meant and he couldn’t help but find the humor within the grief. It was the last time any of us heard my grandpa laugh, as he passed shortly after.

When I talk about my appreciation for “dark humor” I’m not so much thinking about edgy jokes, but rather the human instinct to somehow, impossibly, both find and appreciate the absurdity that is so often folded into the profound grief of life and death. When I tell this story I think it kind of perturbs people sometimes, but it’s honestly one of my favorite memories about two men I really deeply admired. I could never hope for anything more than for my loved ones to remember me laughing until the very end, and taking joy in a little joke as one of my final acts.

is she. u know

thrilling four year follow up to this post:

can persephone please catch a break cuz that’s twice now she hasn’t been able to raise her kids due to divine fuckery 🫠

We have underestimated the comedic genius of the elderly when presented with technology

grossly underestimated

I FUCKING LOST MY SHIT AT WORK

Hey we saw you from across the glade and we really hate your vibe.

I love you, my same-aged son

imagine if you will, a fairly dry survival crafting game in which you live in a bunker and must periodically venture out to scavenge food, set up turrets for attacking monsters, etc

now, your computer inside the bunker has a game-inside-a-game on it which is a charming farming sim of undeniably greater quality and scope than the survival game you're playing. therefore, the object of the game becomes to keep your bunker secure so you can play the farming game more.

now, once you achieve the highest rating in the farming game, a secret shop inside it unlocks, and one of the novelty items you can purchase is a game console, giving you access to games-inside-a-game-inside-a-game. most of the games for it are typical mobile shovelware, but one of them is a highly polished, extremely brutal precision platformer with amazing level design and production values exceeding that of the survival game and farming sim combined.

it is only at this point that the purpose of this entire contrivance becomes clear: to create the most deranged speedrun community the world has ever seen.

no