“Statement regarding… [sigh] a barbie doll sighted entering the real world and becoming a human to face the horrors of patriarchy and the epic highs and lows of womanhood. Statement begins.”

my favorite meme of jesus is the edit of kramskoi's "christ in the desert" where he is smoking a cig. yeah. that's a good one.

live jesus reaction to me being a fucking idiot every day

middle schooler obsessed with using perfect grammar online -> adult who uses like every text abbreviation possible

Master the rules then grow beyond them obviously

one sentence summaries of every TMA episode

(1-60 i'll add more soon)

part 2 up!

Part 2

if i had absolute power i would be really chill with it actually. i would never corrupt absolutely. i would keep it real niceys. heart

cautiously hands you the Power Sphere

enthusiastically hands you the Corruption Sphere

In the Eye of the Beholder… ✨

I GASPED I LOVE THIS

Booty shorts with “From the Library of Jurgen Leitner” on the ass

What if I told you the sword is really small but the fellow is even smaller

me: if I become the evil overlord I will never harm my minions

[5 years later]

highly throwable imp: hoohoohee

me: hmm

please can someone tell me why people sometimes screenshot posts and put them underwater

To the ocean with you

NO PLEASE I CANT SWIM

I will be 70 years old and I still will never have gotten over the time the Mythbusters used a rocket powered steel wall to - and I use this word as literally as possible - vaporize an entire car into red mist

https://youtu.be/Nl8xTqTUGCY

If you haven’t seen this episode of Mythbusters I feel so bad for you because “What car?” remains to this day as a defining moment of my adolescence and my entire life

That was a near-religious experience 

I made a gif of it for those of you who cant watch the video in your country. Or if you know you just want to stare at it mesmerized like me

Oh wow they sure did vaporise that car into red mist

@identifying-cars-in-posts?

1994-1996 Ford Aspire

We need to go back to using sailing ships full time like immediately. Yes it would take longer to get places but the Aesthetic is unmatched

Like there is nothing sexier hthan this

Can’t wait for OP to get scurvy

Are you under the impression that the ships themselves are what caused scurvy

Frozen lighthouse on Lake Michigan Shore

if you ever wondered what news in england is like

whenever theres a disaster anywhere in the world the majority of the news coverage isnt about the disaster directly its more focused on how theres specifically a handful of holidaying british people there that need to be rescued asap

so its probably exactly how you imagined it

like if 100 people died when a literal portal to hell opened in venice today but 3 british people scraped their knees running from the resultant blazing chasm thats how you will hear about the initial news. exclusively through a lens that frames the british people as the most important victims

That is literally the basis of 2012's The Impossible, which is about the 2004 tsunami that hit Indonesia told through the story of a British family on vacation there, rather than any of the actual Indonesian people whose homes and families were destroyed

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

Stop says the red light, go says the green

Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. 

KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT WITH ITS EYE OF COAL  SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE  AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL

THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY

@irritatedlifeguard I agree with your tags.

I didn't realise it was pointing up and was falling onto the camera I thought the printer was leaping at me

pov: you just asked someone to toss you your keys

I graduated high school in 99.

There was a student at our school named Wayne.

Wayne was gay. It was obvious. He was unable to stay in the closet even if he wanted to. To make matters worse, he was also Black. From a bullying standpoint, that was not a great combo. Both Black and white students made fun of him relentlessly. He was ostracized from the only community that may have given him protection. Only us theater kids stuck up for him, but not to significant effect.

Wayne was bullied so much that at one point he finally snapped and attacked his bullies with a lunch tray. I was actually seated in perfect line of sight and just sat there chewing my soggy fries in stunned silence. It didn't even seem real as I was witnessing it. The image of him wailing on his main bully as the food on his tray flew off is permanently logged into my long term memory.

The bully he attacked had blood all over his face and went straight to the nurse. Other than superficial cuts, he was not injured.

Before the attack, Wayne went to teachers for help. He went to guidance counselors for help. He went to the principals for help.

He did all of the things you were supposed to do. No one helped him. They wagged a finger at the bullies and warned them to stop.

Wayne's lunch tray melee was the only thing that worked. His bullies stayed far away from him. But a week later Wayne was expelled and the bullies were given no punishment.

So... no.

No one in my school talked about being trans.

Because the only way to survive being openly queer was to bash people with a lunch tray.

@elvenferretots

gender to me is like a car i dont really want one and society would be much better if it was not structured around it. but i got one because it helps me get around and sometimes its fun to make it go fast

and people tell you to move to one of a handful of cities if you want to avoid having one, but when you get there the majority of people have one anyway and jobs expect you to as well

Car dependence has ruined the physical and social infrastructure of this country. If we want any revolution we need Walkable safe human scaled cities

amtrak I love you and you're so right but this post is about gender so

gender has ruined the physical and social infrastructure of this country. if we want any revolution we need gender-optional safe queer friendly cities

What's a gender?

dnd jokes that will always be funny no matter what your dm tells you

feel free to add more