hate how having a special interest in a character will turn u into a giggly little anime schoolgirl im like kicking my legs and squealing into a pillow and and blushing and smiling like an idiot and its like Oh yeah no this about a guy who should be in federal prison. yeah. yeah like unforgivable crimes

love writing. writing is awesome. it’s a shame that it involves writing though

im sooo excited for autumn and pumpkins and skeleton decor... and apples... and ghosts.. and cats and crunchy leaves and libraries when its cold out and

I often think I could be such a good writer if I were better at writing

Unfortunately, the only way to improve your writing is to write.

Im just feeling a certain way rn

Spooky season is closer than you think.

nothing is worse than software that tells people when I’m online or when I read their message or when I’m typing something. I always want to be as unknowable in my silence as god

MY GOD WHAT HAVE I FOUND XD

I'm not sorry for having you know this exists XD

Reblogging again because I got an anon last week whining cause they did this to one of my unfinished series and the bot killed Y/N so now they want ME to give them a happy ending. Like. No. Suffer, bitch.

AI is the death of creativity. Anyone who does this to my stories and is stupid enough to brag about it will be blocked from ever reading my work again, AND I'll let everyone on tumblr know that you do this. We'll see how much fic you get to enjoy when every author blocks you forever.

Fic is a gift. I've said it before. Don't shit all over your lovingly handcrafted gifts, m'kay? This should be fucking obvious, but apparently for some of you it's not.

THIS GOES FOR AI ART AS WELL.

I know this doesn’t really apply to my content because I make one off headcannons, but DO NOT PUT OTHER AUTHORS/ARTISTS WORKS INTO AI! If you do you’ll be blocked from my page. It’s incredibly disrespectful to the people who work so hard to make amazing content. Don’t do it.

They saw an opportunity and, by god, they fucking took it.

wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs 

also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything

what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??

Wear a wig. Contact lenses . Change your accent . Change Hand when writing . Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa . Contour the hell outta your face.

Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.

Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show

Y'all suspect af😂

*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*

Make sure you set up a solid alibi Pay for everything in cash

Or, for those of you who’ve read Roald Dahl’s Lamb to the Slaughter, feed the murder weapon to the police

Bodies should be buried vertically, not horizontally, to avoid the appearance of a grave. If you choose to dismember the body instead of bury it whole don’t forget to take a lighter or bottle of lye to the fingertips until charred or melted away, and use bleach on every surface that may have come in contact with blood splatter.

Also, don’t fucking brag about it later Jesus wept.

all this info is good for writing

but for actual real life, no one on tumblr has enough energy to get out of bed

ain’t no body on this website is gonna murder anyone

Make friends with a pig farmer. A full grown nursing sow can eat an entire human body, bones and all, in about 6 hours.

Shit that last one is more helpful than I wanted it to be, I’ll never look at pigs the same

Reblogging for *educational* purposes :)

This post is legendary and I’m so glad I found it. I love all the advice. Except the icicle. That’s technically impossible. Use a disposable knife instead and break the handle.

use a glass knife with wooden handle for ultimate wounding. its gonna leave a severe fucking wound and u can burn the wood and melt down the glass if it doesnt shatter inside the victim.

Thomas what did i tell you about making suspiious posts?

I love learning.

IT’S ON MY DASH I REPEAT IT’S ON MY DASH.

ON MY DASH

WHAT THE FUCK IT’S ON MY DASH. ALSO JEVER TRUST ANYONE WITH MORE THEN 3 pigs

Always reblog

“Never trust anyone with more than 3 pigs” is the best thing I’ve ever read

on another note, I just remembered Roald Dahl wrote Lamb to the Slaughter (I read it in sophomore year)

Dummies.

Bury one (1) oyster in the yard for two weeks. Put it on the plate with a bunch of others, serve to victim.

There’s plenty of health risks when it comes to eating raw seafood- No one will bat an eye.

World Heritage Post

Six years later, my dumb ass realizes I never said you also have to pull at least some of the teeth to prevent a match to dental records.

@damnn-dorothea @hell-lit011019 @chammak-challo113 murder besties… Refreshment course.

@bulbourethralhand

“I am a writer,” he said as reblogged this post. Little did they know…

This reblogging chain shouldn’t stop… everyone should know HOW TO MURDER !! I repeat this reblogging chain shouldn’t STOP!!

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

1.1 MILLION NOTES JESUS CHRIST

A KIND OF MUTUAL HAUNTING

— Practical Magic

For anyone who needs it. Use in good health.