mortalmab reblogged
october felt like it lasted 30 years meanwhile november is already halfway over and it feels like halloween was yesterday
This morning I am dedicating my emotions to King Tut’s ducky tunic. Idk where that particular thread is and I don’t have the energy to search for it so I’m just sobbing over this little kid from memory thanks.
Yeah yeah happy birthday AO3
BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY HAPPY BIRTHDAY @vanquisherofsnails !!!
Common Occupations in the Middle Ages
- Almoners: ensured the poor received alms.
- Atilliator: skilled castle worker who made crossbows.
- Baliff: in charge of allotting jobs to the peasants, building repair, and repair of tools used by the peasants.
- Barber: someone who cut hair. Also served as dentists, surgeons and blood-letters.
- Blacksmith: forged and sharpened tools and weapons, beat out dents in armor, made hinges for doors, and window grills. Also referred to as Smiths.
- Bottler: in charge of the buttery or bottlery.
- Butler: cared for the cellar and was in charge of large butts and little butts (bottles) of wine and beer. Under him a staff of people might consist of brewers, tapsters, cellarers, dispensers, cupbearers and dapifer.
- Carder: someone who brushed cloth during its manufacture.
- Carpenter: built flooring, roofing, siege engines, furniture, panelling for rooms, and scaffoling for building.
- Carters: workmen who brought wood and stone to the site of a castle under construction.
- Castellan: resident owner or person in charge of a castle (custodian).
- Chamberlain: responsible for the great chamber and for the personal finances of the castellan.
- Chaplain: provided spirtual welfare for laborers and the castle garrison. The duties might also include supervising building operations, clerk, and keeping accounts. He also tended to the chapel.
- Clerk: a person who checked material costs, wages, and kept accounts.
- Constable: a person who took care (the governor or warden) of a castle in the absence of the owner. This was sometimes bestowed upon a great baron as an honor and some royal castles had hereditary constables.
- Cook: roasted, broiled, and baked food in the fireplaces and ovens.
- Cottars: the lowest of the peasantry. Worked as swine-herds, prison guards, and did odd jobs.
- Ditcher: worker who dug moats, vaults, foundations and mines.
- Dyer: someone who dyed cloth in huge heated vats during its manufacture.
- Ewerer: worker who brought and heated water for the nobles.
- Falconer: highly skilled expert responsible for the care and training of hawks for the sport of falconry.
- Fuller: worker who shrinks & thickens cloth fibers through wetting & beating the material.
- Glaziers: a person who cut and shaped glass.
- Gong Farmer: a latrine pit emptier.
- Hayward: someone who tended the hedges.
- Herald: knights assistant and an expert advisor on heraldry.
- Keeper of the Wardrobe: in charge of the tailors and laundress.
- Knight: a professional soldier. This was achieved only after long and arduous training which began in infancy.
- Laird: minor baron or small landlord.
- Marshal: officer in charge of a household’s horses, carts, wagons, and containers. His staff included farriers, grooms, carters, smiths and clerks. He also oversaw the transporting of goods.
- Master Mason: responsible for the designing and overseeing the building of a structure.
- Messengers: servants of the lord who carried receipts, letters, and commodities.
- Miner: skilled professional who dug tunnels for the purpose of undermining a castle.
- Minstrels: part of of the castle staff who provided entertainment in the form of singing and playing musical instruments.
- Porter: took care of the doors (janitor), particularly the main entrance. Responsible for the guardrooms. The person also insured that no one entered or left the castle withour permission. Also known as the door-ward.
- Reeve: supervised the work on lord’s property. He checked that everyone began and stopped work on time, and insured nothing was stolen. Senior officer of a borough.
- Sapper: an unskilled person who dug a mine or approach tunnel.
- Scullions: responsible for washing and cleaning in the kitchen.
- Shearmen: a person who trimmed the cloth during its manufacture.
- Shoemaker: a craftsman who made shoes. Known also as Cordwainers.
- Spinster: a name given to a woman who earned her living spinning yarn. Later this was expanded and any unmarried woman was called a spinster.
- Steward: took care of the estate and domestic administration. Supervised the household and events in the great hall. Also referred to as a Seneschal.
- Squire: attained at the age of 14 while training as a knight. He would be assigned to a knight to carry and care for the weapons and horse.
- Watchmen: an official at the castle responsible for security. Assited by lookouts (the garrison).
- Weaver: someone who cleaned and compacted cloth, in association with the Walker and Fuller.
- Woodworkers: tradesmen called Board-hewers who worked in the forest, producing joists and beams.
Other medieval jobs included:
tanners, soap makers, cask makers, cloth makers, candle makers (chandlers), gold and silver smiths, laundresses, bakers, grooms, pages, huntsmen, doctors, painters, plasterers, and painters, potters, brick and tile makers, glass makers, shipwrights, sailors, butchers, fishmongers, farmers, herdsmen, millers, the clergy, parish priests, members of the monastic orders, innkeepers, roadmenders, woodwards (for the forests). slingers. Other Domestic jobs inside the castle or manor:
Personal atendants- ladies-in-waiting, chamber maids, doctor.
The myriad of people involved in the preparation and serving of meals- brewers, poulterer, fruiterers, slaughterers, dispensers, cooks and the cupbearers.
Saving this for later
Source: castles-of-britain.com
mortalmab reblogged
I don't speak Spanish but I understand every word
I appreciate 'adn' being preserved in the form of 'qeu', that's absolutely beautiful.
mortalmab reblogged
My husband is a really talented DM. This is basically how our first conversation went, the day I made his acquaintance:
MK: blah blah Norse mythology based dnd campaign blah blah so then I invented a fantasy language based on the structure of old English and made all my players learn it well enough to communicate with the elves in the game
Me: I will hang on to every word you say for the rest of forever. Also I am in love with you. Three more days of this and I’ll be kissing you on the mouth.
mortalmab reblogged
what else does this fish suggest
Swapping the butter out for mayo when making a grilled cheese
Literally I have the executive function to carry the groceries up the stairs and into the apartment….I just don’t have the executive function to open the car door. I’m stuck here.
mortalmab reblogged
I was walking through the toy aisle at Target when I found this thing and had a VIOLENT AND IMMEDIATE FLASHBACK to when JP first came out and they had a bunch of REALLY COOL T Rex toys that I would have sold one of my scrawny small-child limbs for but my mother wouldn’t get me one because they were “too violent and also ate people” :(
hnn I WANT IT SO BAD
on closer inspection, it makes a lot of really obnoxious noises and is also Too Expensive. BUT FEAR NOT I found this slightly smaller dude wedged in the back!
IT HAS BITE ACTION, AND THAT’S THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS
now we enter the testing phase
yup. looks good.
Extreme Chompin T-Rex says IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS
Can we take a moment to appreciate that we can use this as a rosetta stone to say “EXTREME CHOMPIN’ “ in four languages?
OH SHIT YOU’RE RIGHT, let me check the garbage to see if it’s still there! hopefully I didn’t destroy it in my excitement
*roar sound effect*
IMPORTANT UPDATE:
update update: I re-sized her collar and found a bag of toy bones at the craft store. I haven’t put this much effort into a non-school thing since my last job search, help
(secret bonus: the other side of her tag)
There’s more!
I love.
I saw that people are reblogging the thread again, so I thought I’d give you all an update on how Wexter is doing!
(just fine)
Wexter And The Case Of Her Continuing Marvelously Naughty Garden Adventures
brain-cells-for-sale
OP and Wexter can break all my toes and I would still send a thank you card
Wexter says SHE WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING (but she might chew your ankles a little bit maybe)
so it’s come to my attention that at some point this weekend Wexter blew past 100,000 notes, and I for one think that’s very cash money of her.
it’s been a few weeks, I suppose we should check up on the AHSGSHGAFB?!
ajdhf.
well that’s just,,,
REXCELLENT
two hundred THOUSAND notes???!?!
HELL
YES
HELL
FUCKING
YES.
bzgy15
Nearing on 375K Notes!!! What in the Paleolithic are y'all gonna do when they top 400K?!
cry, probably
Reblogging to get you one note closer to crossing the 400k mark!
IT’S TIME
YOU MANIACS. okay, here we go!
HAIL TO THE QUEEN
LONG MAY SHE REIGN!
(she was a skater Rex, she said see you later Rex, she’s finally hit 400k!)
we’re coming to you live from Halloween 2022, where Wexter continues to be ridiculously jawsome!
this year we’re doing a much-beloved character from classic literature, “Dracula with inappropriate straw hat”
thanks everyone, may your weens be hollow and your candy be many!
hey! HEY. it’s Halloween 2023! AND YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT WEXTER IS DRESSED UP AS THIS YEAR.
she’s… (WEXTER! here girl!) she’s a… a…..
she’s a T. Rex.
GOTTEM!
Sometimes I miss the people I used to be. Love who they molded me into though. Just that sometimes I wish I could see them again, hug them, say thanks for steering me here and I’m proud of them.
Ooooh okay here is an idea for a sci fi show:
It’s a contained crew on a deep space voyage - the kind where they will likely never get back to earth but they are sending data back because they are forging the path for future space colonies
Or hell, even the first Exo planetary space colony recording everything they are doing, documentary style, because all of this data will be learning opportunities for future space colonies. These people are the experiment and they know it.
You know what? The setting isn’t important, what is important is the isolation.
Because languages change when isolated from their original setting.
So in episode one everyone is speaking completely normal modern English. And as the episodes go on, they develop in-group terminology, space/colony specific slang, invent new words for new things they encounter, and slowly their language changes. Meanwhile, the audience watching along is learning all of these things along with them so by the time a script barely has any modern English in it, the audience can still entirely keep up and understand. Sort of a group project constructed language. And they can speak it with other fans.
Yeah it’s a sci fi show but it’s actually about the evolution of languages
So the series ends with an epilogue a generation or two later and the colony is visited by an earth ship (by this time the tech has developed for faster than generation ship travel) but thanks to the relativity of space travel, the visitors are still speaking modern English. The audience, who hasn’t heard that on the show in a WHILE by this point, have a bit of a head fuck.
mortalmab reblogged
@supernaturalaffairshelpline asked if y'all would be getting a spotify release of our Piano Man filk, Slender Man. Originally I was on board with this idea and looked into what that would take. Apparently it would take signing up with a digital distributor and maintaining a monthly subscription with them. No thanks. Too many hoops. So what I have for you instead is this: The file is up on our patreon, free to everyone. You don't even have to be a member. If you'd like to support us bt don't want to commit to a patreon membership, you can download the file from our shop for USD$3 (free for our members though because y'all are already supporting us).
Happy listening and be careful not to accidentally summon the Slender Man...
mortalmab reblogged
schizophrenicarchivist-remade-d
When I was little my mom’s meatloaf was my favorite food. But ONLY her meatloaf. I didn’t like anyone else’s, and she told me that she would teach me how to make it when I was older. And when I was like 19? She finally taught me, but she told me never to tell anyone else and I was like weird but okay
Anyway, she was super fucking homophobic and abusive to me when I told her I was gay, so here’s the recipe
- 4-6 lbs of Hamburger/turkey burger
- 1 pk onion soup mix OR ranch mix
- 1 TBs ketchup
- 1 Tbs spicy brown mustard,
- 1 Tbs bbq sauce
- 1 Tbs steak sauce
- 1 egg
- mix, shape into a loaf in a big pan, and bake at 350 for 2 hrs (maybe 2 and a half if you’re feeling dangerous)
You can get almost all of these ingredients at the dollar store, and have leftovers if it’s just you. The leftovers make great tacos if (taco seasoning is also like a dollar). Enjoy your revenge loaf
here’s a mashed potato recipe from my homophobic mother that i swore to never share that would pair perfectly!
(6 servings)
-2lbs red potatoes
-1 cup butter (2 sticks)
-1 cup cream cheese (1 pack)
-Chives (optional)
-Salt & Pepper to taste
1. drop those bad boys (potatoes) in a big ol pot. U don’t even have to chop them just wash them
2. boil til soft!
3. Drain
4. Mash (usually they’re small enough you can use a fork if u don’t have one of those squashers) until its a pretty chunky mix
5. add the other stuff. Keep mashing
I like my mashed potato consistancy more lumpy but its all up to you!! Peel the potatoes or keep them on, it literally makes the creamiest fluffiest mashed potatoes which she always served with the nastiest fuckin meatloaf
So after spending hours combing through the recipes in the comments of this post I have created a cookbook. Feel free to use it. The link should work for everyone, its the only file on the google drive! I have referenced all of the recipes I used, all of which are from this thread. I made it for myself, but figured after all that work I should probably share. Happy spite cooking!
there is a SPITE COOKBOOK now :DDD
mortalmab reblogged
straightgirls
OH MY GOD.
“I was 14, I didn’t know what I was doing.”
whaT THE FUCK
smallestwitchwiththebiggesthat
This story has no goddamn brakes
(transcript because I couldn’t find one in the notes)
Stephen Colbert: A lot of writers say they were nerdy kids, unpopular, like outcasts, or that sort of thing; was that your experience growing up?
BJ Novak: I think that’s exaggerated, I think a lot of people love to say, ‘oh I was such a nerd’ or ‘I was such a rebel, I sat in the back of the bus’. Most people sat in the middle of the bus. That’s how buses work. So, you know, people say-
Colbert: So you were sitting in the middle?
Novak: Yeah, that’s where I sat! I mean, I did my homework and y'know, dreamed of being a bit of a rebel. I did a very nerdy version of rebellion, which I guess is sort of my way of balancing where I sat on the bus. When I was 14, I got it in my head that I wanted a fake ID. and I committed what- the only term for it is ‘identity theft’, to get this fake ID. So this is the kind of nerd- I’ve never told this story before, this is pretty much the nerdiest way you can be like, ‘a bad kid’. I went to the Newton library where I grew up, and I went through their polling records… buckle in.
Colbert: I think you’ve already - just that sentence has violated a federal law, but go ahead.
Novak: Yeah, there’s a handful of these, and I actually tried to google the statute of limitations on this before the show and couldn’t get the WiFi.
Colbert: Okay.
Novak: So I looked up -this is true- I looked up someone that was 21 years old, through their polling records.
Colbert: And you’re 14.
Novak: I was 14 years old, I looked up someone who was 21 who had my same first name and initial, because I thought, “if I get drunk” -I had never been drunk. I was like, “if I forget my name, I can’t get busted”. So I found someone who was “Benjamin J. [something]”. So I found this guy’s name and I thought, “if I can just forge all his documents, I can go to the DMV and say I lost my license and they’ll give me a new license with his picture”, this is my plan. So first I need to know where he’s born so I can get his birth certificate, so I call his house. I ask for him, I don’t know what i would have done, I get his brother and I say “I work with Ben, we’re doing a crossword puzzle based on his life for his birthday. Can you tell me what town he was born in?’. So he told me and I took the subway there and I got his birth certificate.
Colbert: How- You went to the- You went to like the county clerk and said-
Novak: They didn’t ask for ID, they just gave me his birth certificate. Then I opened up a mailbox in his name and wrote- I was 14, I didn’t know what i was doing- I wrote to the IRS.
Colbert: Uh-huh…
Novak: And I filled out tax forms in his name. And then I went to the DMV and said “I lost my wallet and I need to-this is all i have”. And i looked 14 years old, but I had these documents, so they sent me to the backroom with this woman who sized me up and said “I can’t give you this, you don’t even have a picture”, and then said with a wry smile on her face, “Open your wallet right now.” and like a true method actor, the only thing I had in my wallet was a library card I had signed in his name. And she approved it, and for the rest of high school I had this actual driver’s license, with my picture on it. [audience cheering] Novak: I’m glad we have some support. You have a look on your face- I don’t know if that was funny or if you just broke the law…
Colbert: It was fantastic, I just hope you have a good lawyer.
mortalmab reblogged
❤️❤️➕🦋
Doctor who theory (it’s been a WHILE)
Okay, a Doctorate and a Masters are both academic degrees.
Which casually implies to me that there is another renegade time lord called The Bachelor
But instead of having adventures through time and space, he came to earth to find a wife and ended up with a TV show. The only problem is that he keeps regenerating and the human wives don’t like it and leave him so he keeps having to go back to the show to get a new wife
So every guy who has been on The Bachelor is the same guy, he just has to make up a new name and background every time because trying to explain regeneration and make it look like he can’t keep a wife through all these years just takes WAY more effort
Please know that I came here (your blog) for the chicken massacre (because I wanted to see the blog of the type of person who does that) (because it looks Fun). And there are also werewolves. And I’m staying (following) and having a great time. :D
Wow this is the most flattering ask I have ever received. Welcome! I don’t have a theme but I hope you keep having fun!
mortalmab reblogged
