The Mess

At first Netflix said, come write for us. We’ll save your cancelled shows and write about whatever niche story you want. Our algorithm says people will watch it!

Then a few years later they said, regardless of our promises or contract obligations we are cancelling shows after two seasons without telling anyone. Turns out no matter how loved a show is, we get less subscriptions after the second season.

How many subscriptions did we bring you? Netflix won’t say.

So writers started writing two season shows. Just give us two seasons, Netflix. Like you promised.

Then Netflix said, oops sorry! Turns out your show didn’t premiere at #1 and the views in the first day weren’t what we wanted so we’re cancelling your second season.

What were the numbers? How many people watched our show? Netflix doesn’t say.

Then, they did something extra special. They started taking shows and splitting their first season into two halves. Inside Job was not two seasons. It was one season split in half.

Oops! Sorry! The second half of your first season didn’t do as well as the first half, so now your show is cancelled!

Why? How many people? How much money? These companies are making cash hand over fist and they refuse to tell people the truth: people loved your show. Loved it. But some corpo exec wanted an infinite money making machine. Do you know how long shows are in production for before you watch them? Years. Like, 5+, even 10+ years. And Netflix gives it less than a week before they decide whether you’re getting cancelled.

Support #WGA Support #SAGAFTRA

I cannot put into words how much I Fucking Loathe the fact that when you search something on youtube now it will randomly intersperse blocks of "people also watched" and "for you" into the results. That's not what I searched for, youtube. I typed in a search query because I wanted to see search results, not random unrelated garbage you have placed in my way apparently to either inconvenience me or force me to scroll further for actual results. I despise your wretched little games and every time I see it I can only instantly close the tab as I am overcome with the urge to burn something down.

"I despise your wretched little games" perfectly conveys how I feel about the entire algorithm/attention economy

They also refuse to actually show the parameters you searched for. If you sort by “upload date,” the first few videos might be more recent ones by upload date, but anything past that you’ll find a video that was uploaded five years ago, then five months ago, then three years ago, etc, which—NO! That’s NOT WHAT I ASKED FOR!! PUT THEM IN ORDER!!!

Also sometimes the “people also watched” bullcrap will not only be entirely unrelated, it will also be videos with violent, sometimes outright triggering thumbnails. I’ve gotten some AWFUL unrelated video thumbnails just when searching for video game music videos.

If you use Firefox this extension is god send :D

everyone should delete tiktok except this guy i wanna be alone with them

Oh and that fucking crab day post sends shivers down my spine btw. I say this as someone who owns multiple pieces of tumblr merch — support them if you want, or don’t, I don’t care, but we are NOT turning a tech corporation into our poor little wet meow meow who deserves all our money uwu. We are NOT pressuring normal ass people into donating to resolve a company’s millions in debt as if it’s some important charitable cause.

you can enter the most hyper-specific search terms into this website and it will literally always return kpop gif sets, sims mods, and second person imagine fan fiction about a piece of media you’ve never heard of in your fucking life

what happened to the skeleton war, you guys used to love the skeleton war

(tag via clanfearrunt)

Last week I accidentally took an edible at 10x my usual dose. I say “accidentally” but it was really more of a “my friend held it out to my face and I impulsively swallowed it like a python”, which was technically on purpose but still an accident in that my squamate instincts acted faster than my ability to assess the situation and ask myself if I really wanted to get Atreides high or not.

Anyway. I was painting the wall when it hit. My friend heard me make a noise and asked what was wrong—I explained that I had just fallen through several portals. I realized that painting the wall fulfilled my entire hierarchy of needs, and was absolutely sure that I was on track to escaping the cycle of samsara if I just kept at it a little longer. I was thwarted on my journey towards nirvana only by the fact that I ran out of paint.

Seeking a surrogate act of humble service through which I might be redeemed and made human, I turned to unwashed dishes in the sink and took up the holy weapon of the sponge. I was partway through cleaning the blender when it REALLY hit.

You ever clean a blender? It’s a shockingly intimate act. They are complex tools. One of the most complicated denizens of the kitchen. Glass and steel and rubber and plastic. Fuck! They’ve got gaskets. You can’t just scrub ‘em and rinse them down like any other piece of shit dish. You’ve got to dissemble them piece by piece, groove by sensitive groove, taking care to lavish the spinning blades with cautious attention. There’s something sensual about it. Something strangely vulnerable.

As I stood there, turning the pieces over in my hands, I thought about all the things we ask of blenders. They don’t have an easy job. They are hard laborers taking on a thankless task. I have used them so roughly in my haste for high-density smoothies, pushing them to their limits and occasionally breaking them. I remembered the smell of acrid smoke and decaying rubber that filled the kitchen in the break room the last time I tried to make a smoothie at work—the motor overtaxed and melted, the gasket cracked and brittle. Strawberry slurry leaked out of it like the blood of a slain animal.

Was this blender built to last? Or was it doomed to an early grave in some distant landfill by the genetic disorder of planned obsolescence? I didn’t know, and was far too high to make an educated guess. But I knew that whatever care and tenderness and empathy I put into it, the more respect for the partnership of man and machine, the better it would perform for me.

This thought filled me with a surge of affection. However long its lifespan, I wanted it to be filled with dignity and love and understanding. I thought: I bet no one has hugged this blender before. And so I lifted it from its base.

A blender is roughly the size and shape of a human baby. Cradling one in your arms satisfies a primal need. A month ago I was permitted to hold an infant for the first time in my life, an experience which was physically and psychologically healing. I felt an echo of that satisfaction holding my friend the blender, and the thought of parting with it felt even more ridiculous than bringing it with me to hang out on my friend’s bed.

how are parents so bad at watching their kids at zoos and in other potentially dangerous environments with animals like how are babies still falling into pits containing dangerous animals even with multiple signs warning you not to step onto the ledge AND a 6 foot barrier????

I used to work at an aquarium and like. they say that the kids fell in, but in my experience the parents like to perch their kids on the edge of the exhibit and then sort of just. drop them.

or they encourage the kids to get under the barriers and get closer to see, and the kid falls because of course they do

it’s not negligence, it’s outright child endangerment

Whenever one of those stories comes out and the child ends up mangled or dead and the endangered animal involved (who was probably needed in a captive breeding program to save their species) has to be put down, people are justifiably angry at the parents. Which makes other shitty parents feel defensive and say things like “It could have happened to anyone.” like no. No, it couldn’t have. The series of events was not random. The parent essentially dangled their kid over a pack of lions and got mad then the lions bit. They should feel absolutely awful that they endangered the life of their kid AND an animal.

IT SAYS WHOSE LIKE IT IS. IT SAYS LIKED BY "-----" ITS OVER FOR ME

ok sorry for panicking. apparently if your likes are hidden, your liked posts won't get recommended to people

[Image description: a screenshot reading:

"We've renamed the 'Include stuff in your orbit' dashboard setting to 'Include posts liked by the blogs you follow'. It still controls the same behavior: whether or not you'll see posts liked by blogs you follow in your Following feed. Also, reminder that you can hide your own likes from this feature in your blog settings."

End description.]

for those who are new, or old but want to double-check, go to tumblr.com/settings/blog/[blogname] and make sure this slider is toggled off:

[Image description: a Tumblr setting reading: "Likes: Share posts you like. Make your likes public at..." with a slider toggled off. End description.]

girlboss? no. girlworkers. girlunion. we have nothing to lose but our girlchains.

can we keep some of the girlchains for sex stuff

Yes BUT. This specific desk is in a library so a parent that needs to use a library computer can do their work and have a little ease in managing their kiddo. In a library environment this is less productivity culture bullshit and more 'oh this is a fantastic solution to a difficult situation library staff see 8 times a day'. Is it still productivity culture bullshit because this parent may not have affordable childcare or internet available to them? Yes. Am I glad it exists in a library environment to fill a demonstrated need? Hell yeah.

and keeps library staff from having to act as babysitters...

dear GOD we could use a couple of these. we keep crayons and coloring books on hand for the ones old enough for that, but the wee ones squirming and fussing in laps while the parents are fighting with job applications or convincing gmail’s current 2-step verification to let them in so they can print off a return label (both of which i have seen)? this would be SO NICE.

library groups have been loving this & are spreading the word & actively trying to purchase/create similar things in different systems

To illustrate this post by @mayahawkse I would like to visualize to you the difference:

A zoom out of the same post:

This is what a community looks like.

See how in 2023 almost all of the reblogs come from the OP, from their few hours/days in the tag search. Meanwhile in 2014 the % of reblogs from OP is insignificant, because most of the reblogs come from the reblogs within the fandom, within the micro-communities formed there. You didn't need to rely on tags, or search, or being featured. Because the community took care of you, made sure to pass the work between themselves and onto their blog and exposed their followers to it. It kept works alive for years.

It's not JUST the reblog/like ratio that causing this issue, it's the type of interaction people have. They're content with scrolling and liking the search engine, instead of actually having a reblogging relationship with other blogs in their community.

Anyways, if you want to see more content you like, the only true way to make it happen is to reblog it. Likes do not forward content in no way but making OP feel nice. Reblogs on the other hand make content eternal. They make it relevant, they make it exist outside of a fickle tumblr search that hardly works on the best of days.

If you want more of something, reblog it.

Something I see mentioned often is "I don't have many followers, my reblog won't matter" which is untrue.

First of all, reblogging, commenting and interacting is how you start gathering your own micro community, second of all— you literally do not know how far a single reblog from you could go in the long run.

For instance, let's say you only have one person reblog from you, and that person only have one person who reblogged from them also, and so on, and somewhere ten reblogs down the line a very large blog reblogs it and boom, the post is getting more and more exposure!

You see, it does not matter if you don't have a large following so long as you cultivate a micro community with the people you do enjoy interacting daily with.

As you can see in the second picture I added, most of the reblogs were between very small groups of people, and occasionally it'll lapse into a large blog that would create a bigger reblog pool. BUT STILL. Saying that you don't have many followers and so it doesn't matter if you don't reblog is UNTRUE.

Even if someone just randomly wanders into your blog one day, it's beneficial for both sides because A. Seeing you reblog content they like might be enough for them to follow you B. They would be exposed to new content creators they didn't know previously and might also follow / reblog from them!

So yes, do not underestimate what your reblogs and words mean, just because you're not 'big' or whatever. It is not how tumblr works!!

P.S IT IS NOT CRINGE TO REBLOG 10 YEARS OLD CONTENT ON TUMBLR. YOU SEE IT. YOU LIKE IT? REBLOG IT. DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU DIG IT FROM THE DEPTHS OF HELL ITSELF. XOXO :'D <3

fun fact about me: When I was 6 years old I sent so much hate mail to the president (the second Bush) that the mail carrier had to tell my mom I needed to stop before we got FBI’d

I was COMPLETELY unaware of the US political scene or why the adults in my life hated Bush, but I knew I hated him because he let people shoot wolves from helicopters and that’s mean and shitty

I also had a poor grasp on how stamps worked, so given that I wasn’t allowed to continually throw money away by putting stamps on my presidential hate mail, a lot of the times I just drew squares with little pictures inside on the corner.

Love, love, love reading more proof that everyone should encourage the children in their lives to write to elected officials--it teaches them about citizenship and can also be very funny.

When I taught second grade, one of the options for students who had finished their work was to write a letter to the president. I would send all of the letters in a big envelope at the end of every month.

Watching my students get more and more frustrated with him (and concerned about his wellbeing) was not the result I'd hoped for when I came up with the idea, but it was kind of hilarious.

See, Obama had a standard packet with information and activities about his dog he'd send in response to letters from very young citizens...and of course his office sent one back to our class every single time we sent mail.

So eventually all of the letters looked something like this:

Loving this post, not least because it reminded me of this email and attachment that my kid's 5th grade teacher sent us last November.

Context: we are Canadian, our provincial government is currently conservative and the CUPE strike was for teachers and support staff at an adjacent school board that didn't affect my kid's school but was talked about with them in the current events/being active in your community sense.

This is the email I opened:

and this was the attachment:

I haven't thought about this for months, so thank you for inadvertently reminding me it existed so I could lose my shit laughing about it all over again!

Hey. Gentiles. Listen up for a sec.

When September and October are nearing and you’re planning an event: google “Rosh Hashanah *year*” and *Yom Kippur *year*” and then, and I cannot stress this enough, don’t plan your event on those days. In fact, don’t plan any events starting sundown the night before. Those are the three most important days of the Jewish calendar, and, once again, I cannot stress enough how much this little bit of forethought and kindness will make every Jew you know cry tears of joy.

in 2023, the night before Rosh Hashanah is Thursday evening, September 14.

Rosh Hashanah ends Sunday evening, September 17.

calendar date

in 2023, the night before Yom Kippur is Saturday evening, September 23.

Yom Kippur ends Monday evening, September 25.

calendar date

'the human body is perfect god doesnt make mistakes' what about wisdom teeth then. huh. gonna let those bastards grow in and fuck up your jaw for god. didnt think so

also the exploding appendix

there's an entire book about all the ways the human body is fucked up, but the highlights I remember are: -The blood vessels for our rods and cones in our eyes don't run behind them but rather in front of them. It's like putting the power cables *over* a camera's lens -the nasal sinus cavities fucked up during evolution. when our skulls shortened, we went from having a straight shot from one end to the other to having basically a basin which can collect mucus, which then has the actual exit for the chamber at the top of it. this normally isn't a problem bc cillia can work viscous mucus up it, but when we get sick and produce super watery mucus, it no longer works, which is why our noses get stuffed up. the book is called Human Errors: A Panorama of Our Glitches, from Pointless Bones to Broken Genes. I recommend it.

Most mammals can’t get scurvy. They make their own Vitamin C. But in primates, the gene to make it is broken. Normally, when an important gene breaks, the organism dies and has no surviving descendants, but when it broke a few million years ago, our ancestors were living in a lush climate with lots of fruit and survived the failure just fine.

Then humans invented fire and clothing, and moved to colder climates where fresh food was only available part of the year, and scurvy was born.

And our reproduction, oh heavens. There are SO MANY WAYS that human reproduction is fucked up that simply DO NOT APPLY to other animals, even the our nearest relatives, the great apes. When a gorilla is giving birth, she finds a nice hiding place in the trees, squats down for like half an hour, and pushes out a baby. Humans, not so much. In fact, the outcomes of unassisted childbirth in humans are so poor that most anthropologists agree that we must have invented midwifery in some form before we became fully human.

Because smallpox used to kill about 30% of everyone who caught it. The successful vaccine program run by the world’s medical community means that no one will ever die of smallpox ever again.

Because rabies is 100% fatal without a vaccine. No one needs to die of rabies ever again. It is entirely preventable.

Because 1-2 in 1000 who get measles, die. Vaccines let us contain outbreaks or fully wipe them out. There is no specific treatment for the disease once you have it. Your immune system either wins or you die.

We like vaccines because vaccines save lives and raise our standard of living.

My mother, now in her 70s, talks about how her mother wept for joy when her children received the polio vaccine. Because she didn’t have to be afraid of polio anymore.

Idk why staff thinks they can make huge and unnecessary changes to their layout and their highly autistic userbase is just gonna be okay with that

'can i copy your homework?'

'yeah just don't make it obvious'

the like to reblog ratio being almost the same is so funny, people are NOT happy with at this update lmao