.☆.

i went shopping for a car today

i went by myself, it felt good to be independent.

i got to test drive a 2012 ford focus (a lot nicer than anything else ive driven)

i went all over town, i stopped by my grandparents but they werent home

i drove past your house but your curtains were shut

i went down so many roads and every one had a memory of you

i drove past the carpark where we sat and talked for hours

where you promised me youd be do better for me

i drove past some nice houses, the kind of house that comes with the life we promised together

i didnt buy the car. its not right for me.

i found cold hard proof but i just cant seem to fully realise it, it hasnt sunk in, u have to keep going back and looking

caught mt bf cheating on me on REDDIT

having a bf invokes so many of the feelings i felt as a child (bad)

life is so shit whats the point anymore. my job is shit, nc with my family, my cars fucked out and im too poor to get it fixed, i have 2 friends who i never see, my boyfriend is leaving me cause he cba anymore

i am not a people pleaser i am loud and mean and i am still loved for it

i absolutely fucking hate my boyfriend but i genuinely dont have the mental strength to let someone knew get to know me

keep treating me like shit it doesnt matter we both know ill keep coming back

i shouldnt be feeling this way, i deserve to be truly loved

there was no other way this couldve gone

i deserve better

hmmmmmm