Crab Day!!!

Here on Tumblr!!

Buy crabs!

As we now know, Tumblr is $30 million dollars in debt. Oops. Tumblr has announced some major (and unpopular) changes to the site in their attempt to get back above water. The alternative is that Tumblr ceases to exist. But maybe we can change that...

There are 327 million unique tumblr visits per month, and almost 500 million active accounts. If 10 million unique users (or less, if we bought more than one) bought or gifted Crabs from the Tumblr store, we could knock out Tumblr's debt easily. Buy crabs!

July 29, 2023 is Crab Day, running through August 5 (for anyone who can't log on that day) as Crab Week!

Everyone!! If you truly can't afford to participate with a $3 crab, (or other item from the shop) post crab memes!

Time for Tumblr users to rise again and surprise everyone...

Please I need their next financial report to have a header that says 'Crab day'

The fact check feature on Twitter is so funny. Involuntarily getting your post slapped with a label "The general consensus is that OP is pretty stupid :/". Dunce-cap ass feature.

quick psa bc apparently it still needs to be said

DO NOT REPOST ART

idk in which language i have to say this for y’all to understand

DO NOT REPOST ART

i dont CARE if you credited the artist i dont CARE if u found it on pinterest i don’t CARE if you found it on instagram i don’t CARE if u found it laying in the corner of the sidewalk i don’t give a shit. it’s simply not yours to take and post without permission

repeat with me. you can repost only. and i mean ONLY. if the artist has given you explicit permission BEFOREHAND, asking them after you reposted does absolutely nothing. nada. nisba. niente. zero. it’s even worse.

(and permissions to repost are not blanket statements. if an artist is ok with reposting it doesn’t mean that another artist will be too, if you have the go-ahead to repost a certain art doesn’t mean that the permission extends to the rest of the artist’s work as well. “oh but i thought—“ i don’t cARE. ASK EVERY TIME.)

PLEASE begging to show even a crumb of respect for artists/writers/creators and their work it really is not that difficult

The only thing I need tumblr to do is to get like... cool with the idea you can hire people here to do commissions for you and to like.. consider monetary support for artists cuz one of the reasons and the biggest reason I moved to twitter in the first place is because people there buy my art. I make a living there doing art. And the vibe here is **we don't do that here** If you want artists to be here and do art you gotta be okay with the concept of artists trying to make money. I hate capitalism as much as the next person but I'm also 30 years old living with my fucking parents because I can't pay for a 1 bedroom apartment. Artists are not 'big business'. We're not Disney. We're just people trying to make a living or some money for groceries and shit.

PSA: bot comments are taking over ao3

The above examples have been provided with the authors' permission to demonstrate what these look like.

Basic rundown:

Please spread the word about this so authors can filter comments and report them accordingly

There has been some speculation about why this is happening at all, and the best guess is that this is a feature that AI-training story-scraping tools are implementing to try and make their browsing traffic look legitimate

PSA for other writers out there. So you don't get disappointed.

128x128 transparent ibuprofen png for when u and the discord server want to take ibuprofen together

I love this, though, because my favorite thing about Superman is he isn’t Batman. I love Batman too, but Superman isn’t a dude who decided to live his life in pursuit of a vendetta against society when he was eight and then just did nothing for the next two decades but get super jacked, become the world’s greatest detective, and memorize every strategy used by every winner in every field of competition in history. Superman is a very good-hearted person who knows how to bale hay, use AP Stylebook, and break meteors into manageable bite-sized pieces by hitting them real hard. And I’m not saying Superman isn’t smart. He’s a bright guy, he’s just not like, one of the celebrated geniuses of the DC Universe. The best thing about Superman is he is basically a normal dude who happens to be orders of magnitude stronger than anyone else. Normal dudes have brain farts. Normal dudes are presented with a life-or-death situation they have less than four seconds to resolve and make a decision that is not optimal. Normal dudes aren’t typically asked to rescue a child from a 10,000 ton machine bearing down on him at 85mph, but if they were, they would probably sometimes panic a little and do dumb shit like ruin a train when they could have just whisked the child to safety.

I think sometimes Superman makes the wrong decision, not necessarily to the result of extreme catastrophe, but something like this, where everyone is standing around clapping and cheering and the kid’s parents are weeping in gratitude and they want to pose for a picture for the 6 o’ clock news with Superman and the conductor, and in the crowd someone is like “Why didn’t he fly the kid out of the way?” and rather than rolling with the fact that the emperor is naked his friend just says “Shut up, Drew, it’s Superman.”

And then, because I also love Batman for very different reasons, I imagine that later on the same day Bruce Wayne gets a phone call and Clark Kent is like “Hey, Wayne, I uh, need a favor.”

“Do you now.”

“Yeah, I, uh, kind of owe the Union Pacific Railroad $60,000.”

“Oh, and why’s that?”

“Come on, don’t do this to me. It was all over the news.”

“I’m prepared to write you a no-strings-attached check for the full amount on the condition that you explain your entire thought process from beginning to end.”

Anyway, that’s why I like Superman.

I think this is very accurate. One time a tree fell on me in the forest and while it would have made more sense to simply jump to the side and avoid it my idiot brain went through the fight-or-flight options and apparently chose fight, so I reached out my hand and caught the tree, then dropped it on the ground beside me. Ended up fracturing my wrist and wondering why the fuck my brain thought that was the best option for survival. I don’t think people are good at really weighing the optimal choices in moments of crisis. 

Bruce: “New Justice League policy. I am willing to pay for whatever damages you guys do in the name of justice and saving lives, but you have to write up a report detailing how the damage occured, including your thought process. Every once in a while, I will complie them into a presentation that we will go through as a whole to determine how you could have mitigated the collateral damage.”

Clark: “This is going to be a ‘name and shame’ type of thing, isn’t it?”

Bruce, lying through his teeth: “Of course not, don’t be ridiculous. This is to improve ourselves.”

The ones who admit “I don’t know what happened here” get a pass on shaming but they still get the alternative suggestions list

And on nights when he really needs a break, Bruce pulls those presentations out, watches the video, and laughs his tits off.

Forget the edgy “batman contingency: here’s how I’d kill all my friends” that’s all over YouTube Shorts, THIS is the series I want to see!

start of the great journey was like that I swear:

ok not to go on about twitter again but Google is booting twitter cause they aren't paying for server space anymore so Elon is lying about these limits happening because he wants ppl to pay to see more, it was happening because the servers are genuinely DOWN 😭😭😭

“what if people transition and then regret it?” ok. let’s do that with everything. no more straight marriages until the heterosexual divorce rate is below the detransition rates

full res image to share 💜

Hey you good? you reblogged this like three times now.

10 actually i think

Finding Deleted Fics: A Multi-Method Guide

i feel like we are the fandom who needs this post the most any fandom has needed it ever.

before you post, remember S.T.O.P.!!!!

hey btw i would NOT recommend using Bluesky either...

this is just repeating the cycle again

now would be the absolute funniest time for tumblr to unban porn

dr who’s on first, doctor strange is on second and doctor house is on third. theres no way theyre getting through a single inning

so who’s on first?

That’s right 👍🏻

that’s strange

No, he’s on second.

Well how’s he on second if he’s on first?

No no no, House is on third. Second base is Strange.

Well this whole darn thing is strange but what I’m asking is who’s on first?

Naturally.

Who?

Naturally.

So Naturally is the first baseman?

No. The first baseman is Who.

Well I don’t know that so how’s about you tell me?

House is on Third.

I’m not asking you about third base I’m asking you about first base.

Who’s on first!

This is horrible

Dr Horrible is the pitcher, not first base

That’s not what I’m asking about! No!

Dr No is in the outfield, but let’s not worry about them right now.

Reblog if you had a Tumblr for 5+ years

Prince + his Bride-to-be + Bride's childhood friend/bodyguard

For more details abt this AU pls look forward to updates in 20 years

all these reddit guides are forgetting that lurking is the most important part of the tumblr ecosphere. i've been here almost a decade and i just sit here quietly reblogging to my heart's content. i haven't actively interacted with people in years.

don't feel the need to step out your cave unless you want to.