Dearest

I have been wanting to share this because it’s something that I’ve been thinking about and just feel the need to address it. Over the last several weeks I went thrifting/running errands and while I was doing those things some middle age women made small conversations with me. They were very sweet and nice but one thing they kept mentioning was their bodies. One women said “Oh after I had kids I blew up!” Added with a chuckle to her voice, or “I used to be so tiny, I could never see myself wearing certain clothes again.”

Then I went into a Starbucks and the whole time I saw this woman wearing the cutest jacket, I even told my boyfriend how much I liked the jacket. Then right as she walked out with her coffee I said “Oh excuse me I really love your jacket!” And the first thing she says is “I’ve had it for years but it doesn’t fit me that great anymore because I’ve gained weight over the years.” And it’s like ??????! Can we just STOP?! I told her how much I like the jacket I didn’t say, ‘hey that doesn’t fit you right cause it seems like you we’re probably thinner years ago.’ Like????!

As someone who has struggled with BDD pretty much the majority of my life it’s just sad and disappointing that these women immediately think they are being judged based off of their bodies, when in reality I did not ONCE ever think of such a thing. It just goes to show you how fucked up of a society we live in. All the women I came across were beautiful, but not because of their looks, but as they were just being who they are! People who really do base people off of their looks whether young or older, can go fuck themselves. Why tf would I want to be around someone like that anyways??

So much of this positivity is directed to the youth which is great but it should be all women of all ages. I just wish those women I came across knew that their worth was much more than just their bodies. It just needs to stop and I hope more and more people are really trying to break this cycle. Sometimes though, it’s hard to believe that because it’s been ingrained into us for so long that it’s very difficult, especially the new youth coming through, to break away from.